escape committe

[Carol]

I'm back, girls. You don't need to look so worried. I'm O.K.
Pardon, Dolly?
Oh, that's nice. You weren't worried about me. You're worried about Steady.
Who's Steady?
Corporal Steadmund.
Why do you call him Steady?
Oh, I see. That's what he says to you two every time you see him. 'Steady, girls, steady!'
Why are you two worried about him, then?
So he's been telling you about his exploits, has he. You're worried he's on a special mission again as you haven't heard from him. Well, he's O.K. Just been snowed under with snow. He's out now. Wants to know what he can bring you on Sunday. I said anything would do as long as it's expensive and they don't have to pay for it.
Pardon, Cissie?
How do I know about Steady being snowed under with snow and what he said about Sunday?
Sorry, I'm unable to tell you any more as it is all very hush hush, don't you know. There is a war on, old girl.

[pinkmoon]

Why can't you tell lepers Jokes?

They might laugh their heads off.

[I know, I know]

why did the leper fail his driving test ....he left his foot on the clutch!

[Steadmund Brand]

why did the leper fail his driving test ....he left his foot on the clutch!

Why did the leper hockey league not succeed?

There were too many face-offs

Steadmund Brand

[Steadmund Brand]

Welcome back Carol!!!

Snow is all gone here now....any suggestions?

Steadmund Brand

[Archaic]

I'm switching leper jokes to zombie jokes.

- What did the Zombie say to the Prostitute?

Keep the tip.

[Steadmund Brand]

How about jokes that make you think a bit ( or I should call them jokes my friends usually don't get... I told one before that folks on here liked " A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and said 5 beers please")

C, E-flat and G walk into a bar--the bartender stops them and says " sorry we don't sever minors"

Steadmund Brand

[pinkmoon]

What musical note do you get if you drop a piano down a coal mine ......a flat miner!

[GUT]

3 Blonds walk into a bar, you'd have though one would have ducked

[GUT]

A Neutron finishes his meal and asks "How Much" waiter replies "No charge for you".

[pinkmoon]

I went to the new zoo that has just opened it only had one animal which was a dog I thought it was a shitzu

[Carol]

I'm switching leper jokes to zombie jokes.

- What did the Zombie say to the Prostitute?

Keep the tip.

BUNNY!!!!

Dear, oh dear, oh dear. You wouldn't believe the trouble I have with Agent Archaic, Cissie and Dolly. I'm trying really hard to teach the three of them how to behave like 'proper young ladies' so that when the war is over they'll all have a better chance in life. Cissie said that if that means behaving herself then I can go and take a running jump. (She's still angry with me because of 'her' Steady).

[Carol]

Welcome back Carol!!!

Snow is all gone here now....any suggestions?

Steadmund Brand

Hello Steadmund,

Winston called. He said could you arrange for a trampoline to be delivered to Stalag as soon as possible. Said he couldn't cope with hearing Pinkmoon's corny jokes much longer. We have to get him out pdq.

Will be calling Pinkmoon soon so that he's prepared for the next stage of his escape.

Sorry you couldn't pay us a visit today but please come next Sunday. If you can get hold of some Christmas decorations and a nice little tannenbaum Cissie and Dolly will be so pleased.

Great to hear from you, old chap.

Carol

P.S. Did you know that Cissie and Dolly call you 'Steady'?

[Carol]

Calling Pinkmoon. Calling Pinkmoon.
Are you receiving me?
Over.

Hello old chap.

Sorry to hear you're still having problems getting away from the Dragon.
Don't worry - Winston has a wonderful plan. He contacted me this morning and asked me to request the Yank (Corporal Steadmund) to arrange for a trampoline to be delivered to your Stalag. Just done this and I should be hearing from him as soon as he's sorted it out.

This is Winston's plan. Once the trampoline has been delivered you have to make sure that it is placed as close as possible to the perimeter fence. I will contact you that evening at 1900 hours so that you can give me the coordinates of where you have put it. The biggest problem, of course, is the Dragon. Now, I've been making discreet enquiries and the Dragon goes to Bingo every Tuesday and Thursday leaving at 1845 hours to arrive at 1900 hours. She stays until the end at 2200 hours. Makes her way home and arrives at 2215 hours. So you will have an 'escape window' of about three hours.

You are to make your way to the trampoline as soon as you feel that the coast is clear, having arranged with your batman to contact me as soon as you leave the bunk room. You are then to jump as high as you need to in order to flip your body into the required position to fly over the perimeter fence. Please try to land on your feet as this will help with a quick get away. As soon as I receive the call from your batman I will give Agent Archaic the thumbs up and she will proceed to Stalag and place herself in a suitable position with the help of your coordinates. You and she will then make your way to the main road where Corporal Steadmund will be waiting with a German staff car and German uniforms. You should both then be able to cross the border into Denmark. You will find a jolly large number of Jerries there as they've even occupied Denmark now but Winston thinks that shouldn't be a problem for you as Agent Archaic can speak fluent American English and that should be a great help to you.

You must then make your way to Copenhagen and take the ferry over to Sweden. Sweden is still neutral and I have contacts there. I am arranging for a fishing boat to be ready not far away from the ferry port. This will bring you back to Blighty.

Winston is very confident that this latest escape attempt will work. The girls and I are very hopeful. We're just sorry we can't go with you but our tunnel that we are digging from the hen house in the back yard is not progressing very well and we won't be able to tunnel our way in to you at Stalag in time.

[Carol]

Hello Steadmund,

Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to tell you something else that Winston asked you to do.

Could you please arrange for a German staff car and two German uniforms for either a Tuesday or Thursday evening in the near future? Pinkmoon and Bunny will need them in order to get into Denmark unnoticed on the evening of the escape. Pinkmoon is a European size 42 and Bunny needs size 38. She would prefer a man's uniform as she finds skirts hamper her style.

Thanks a lot, old chap!

Carol

[Robert]

To all on this thread :

Von Scherbach has asked me to tell you that with Christmas coming on, he has a special treat for you : he will have you all de-loused for the holidays.