Special Announcement

[Iconoclast]

‘Magisterial’ has to shade its eyes to look up to ‘brilliant’.

Phew - that is a genuine relief!

Cheers,

Ike

[Harry D]

Does it really matter at this point? Most of us know that the Diary is a work of fiction and charlatanry.

It doesn't matter what holes he exposes in the pro-diarist's holy book. They will simply plug them up with more mental gymnastics.

[Iconoclast]

Does it really matter at this point? Most of us know that the Diary is a work of fiction and charlatanry.

It doesn't matter what holes he exposes in the pro-diarist's holy book. They will simply plug them up with more mental gymnastics.

Sorry, Harry, you lost me there - were you referring to scrapbook supporters or scrapbook detractors when you said "They will simply plug them up with more mental gymnastics."?

Cheers,

Ike

[Abby Normal]

Sorry, Harry, you lost me there - were you referring to scrapbook supporters or scrapbook detractors when you said "They will simply plug them up with more mental gymnastics."?

Cheers,

Ike

what part of "pro-diarists" didnt you understand? lol

and Harry is totally correct.

[Iconoclast]

what part of "pro-diarists" didnt you understand? lol

and Harry is totally correct.

Well, of course he's correct - AND his view aligns with yours! How unexpected!

PS I was, of course, being ironic, in my earlier post, perhaps even a tad sardonic. Interesting thing about irony - they say that certain nations are incapable of comprehending it! Obviously I don't subscribe to such national stereotypes. Lovely cup of tea anyone?

[caz]

I expect his lordship has found that the handwriting doesn't resemble JM's. Not sure why he's 30 years behind everyone else and still trying to show his hoaxers made a mistake.

The only way he's ever going to put a modern hoaxer in the dock, however, is by employing an expert or three who can finally identify the individual who actually held the pen.

Anything less will be full of sound, fury and funny little personal attacks, as ever, signifying bugger all. I'm not holding my breath. At my age, it would be most unwise.

Love,

Caz
X

[erobitha]

Iconoclast I blame you for the trend of imaginary dialogue which has spawned across ripperology of late. I must say the copycats are far less entertaining and certainly less amusing. None less so than Lord O's attempt with his own "special announcement".

However, amongst the painful lines he teases the following which does leave the reader tantalised "LO: No, no, this is an actual error. A mistake which James Maybrick wouldn't have made". Which infers he believes he has uncovered some kind of factual error which Maybrick would have not made. A factual error known to Maybrick but the alleged faker accidentally dropped a clanger. I am of course naturally dubious this will proved to be the case, but slightly intrigued I will admit.

His desire to drag this out is somewhat typical of his character. We have a saying where I grew up, and I will sanitise it for the purposes of good forum etiquette; "Defecate or remove yourself from the receptacle".

[rjpalmer]

[USER="8771"] We have a saying where I grew up, and I will sanitise it for the purposes of good forum etiquette; "Defecate or remove yourself from the receptacle".

Clearly you are too young to remember the days of a certain poster named "Caz Morris" and her "secret squirrel" evidence in Liverpool. A bloke named John Omlor hounded her daily for the better part of 3 years to get off the receptacle, yet it was still another decade before she finally dropped the penny.

Early days, my son, early days.

[Iconoclast]

Iconoclast I blame you for the trend of imaginary dialogue which has spawned across ripperology of late. I must say the copycats are far less entertaining and certainly less amusing. None less so than Lord O's attempt with his own "special announcement".

However, amongst the painful lines he teases the following which does leave the reader tantalised "LO: No, no, this is an actual error. A mistake which James Maybrick wouldn't have made". Which infers he believes he has uncovered some kind of factual error which Maybrick would have not made. A factual error known to Maybrick but the alleged faker accidentally dropped a clanger. I am of course naturally dubious this will proved to be the case, but slightly intrigued I will admit.

His desire to drag this out is somewhat typical of his character. We have a saying where I grew up, and I will sanitise it for the purposes of good forum etiquette; "Defecate or remove yourself from the receptacle".

Ah yes, Erobitha, the old imaginary dialogue! I think others have been just as guilty, mind (but certain of them have rather sharp switchblades so best to leave it at that for now).

Ike: So you've found something in the scrapbook which proves James Maybrick could not possibly have written it?

LO: I have indeed, Ikey, me old mucker.

Ike: And it's absolutely categorical, yes? There's no element of interpretation required?

LO: Requiro nein, me old fruit loaf.

Ike: Fascinating.

LO: Muchos fascinatos, me old **** sparrow.

Ike: So there's something in the scrapbook which Maybrick could not possibly have thought, done, or written?

LO: It's like you're reading my mind, me old butter spreadable light.

Ike: Hmmm. You've definitely got the Casebook agog and aquiver.

LO: Agog and aquiver - in that order - Iko was indeed my stated aim when first composing that most magisterial teasing dialogue between me, myself, and I, me old antediluvian whippersnapping armchair.

Ike: Look, I think the medicine may be wearing off so I'll maybe leave it there and come back to see you again tomorrow.

LO: Hardy! Kiss me Hardy!

Ike: Hmmm. I fear the eventual revelation of the source of this recent fervent of excited anticipation may be slightly muted by the particular charms of Prozac.

LO: Ships? What ships, man? Germans at two o'clock, Roger! Over. Hold the front page, Doris - Scoop Orsam's in town. Over. Don't jump, don't jump - I'll save you! Have you ironed my underwear yet Mother? Over.

[WARNING - THIS DIALOGUE CONTAINS AN EXPLICITLY AWFUL PUNCHLINE WHICH SOME READERS MAY FIND DISTRESSING]

Ike: Here's me thinking you came from Chigwell when you're quite clearly Barking born.

PS Unbelievable, you can get away with Lordshit, shite, and Sunderland (the latter two interchangeable, of course) but you can't get away with **** sparrow!

[caz]

Caz may remember. We were both considering the possibility that ‘one-off’ might have been used to describe an immature act by a person.

It’s by no means an absurd suggestion. No more absurd than using an engineering term to describe a unique person or event.

Hi Gary,

Here's the gist of what I posted about this in "the other place", for what it's worth:

If 'one off' [no hyphen in the diary] is used as an adjective to mean immature, undisciplined or colt-like, then it's not being used in the sense of single or unique, as in a 'one-off' anything. And that actually makes more sense of the diary author's chosen words:

'Sir Jim':
I apologised, a one off instance, I said, which I regretted and I assured the whore it would never happen again. The stupid bitch believed me.

Possible interpretation:
A coltish act of kicking out, which I said would not be repeated. The silly cow fell for it.

It's the second part of the sentence which tells Bunny this was a single instance, so when you think about it, the first part doesn't have to. The one off instance could have been referring to his childish fit of pique.

A similar expression these days, referring to lashing out before thinking, might be:
Sorry, love, I acted like a total brat. Won't happen again.

Blimey, I must be animal mad. Horse, colt, bitch, cow and Bunny, all in the one post. Reads like something from 'All Creatures Grunt and Smell'.

Love,

Animal [my favourite muppet]
X

[Iconoclast]

Sorry, love, I acted like a total brat. Won't happen again.

Hi Caz,

I'm not one to dob in a pal but I am tying to avoid a Kray Twin smile after a passing kiss from the Switchblade so - to Hell with friendship - have you read RJ's outrageous attack on your character, above?

He's gone too far this time and I for one think it's time you sent the boys 'rarn to sort 'im aart. He might be a drinking buddy of mine but there's a code and he's crossed it.

By the way, could you shout very clearly "Duck, Innocent Bystander" just before you throw it at him? I'd hate to get blood on my Magpie onesie (they're playing right now - I don't wear it all the time, you know!).

Cheers and subserviently yours,

The Grasser

[caz]

PS Unbelievable, you can get away with Lordshit, shite, and Sunderland (the latter two interchangeable, of course) but you can't get away with **** sparrow!

I think you can get round it by doing what Bongo couldn't - try grown-up joined-up writing:

cocksparrow

Two birds and a secret squirrel to add to my menagerie!

And I always did love a cockatoo.

Love,

Caz
X

[caz]

Hi Caz,

I'm not one to dob in a pal but I am tying to avoid a Kray Twin smile after a passing kiss from the Switchblade so - to Hell with friendship - have you read RJ's outrageous attack on your character, above?

He's gone too far this time and I for one think it's time you sent the boys 'rarn to sort 'im aart. He might be a drinking buddy of mine but there's a code and he's crossed it.

By the way, could you shout very clearly "Duck, Innocent Bystander" just before you throw it at him? I'd hate to get blood on my Magpie onesie (they're playing right now - I don't wear it all the time, you know!).

Cheers and subserviently yours,

The Grasser

Oh blimey, I now have a Duck and Magpie to add to my bird brain.

Quick, I need a second magpie, or someone will be in for some bad luck.

Love,

Caz
X

[Iconoclast]

I think you can get round it by doing what Bongo couldn't - try grown-up joined-up writing:

cocksparrow

Two birds and a secret squirrel to add to my menagerie!

And I always did love a cockatoo.

Love,

Caz
X

I wonder if that's why I got away with Lordshit?

Ike

[Iconoclast]

And I always did love a cockatoo.

Ah yes, from Iconoclast's Hall of Comedy Fame, other great gems:

I use a dictaphone.
Really? I use my finger like most other people.

How's the wife?
She's on holiday in the Caribbean.
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.

Mallard, goose, hen, cockerill, penguin, crow ...

I can't stop!!!