Irritations

[Herlock Sholmes]

Radio stations that play the same songs over and over.

[Herlock Sholmes]

Announcers at railway and coach stations or in supermarkets that no one can understand.

[Herlock Sholmes]

That “see it, say it, sorted” message on the railways and the underground.

[Herlock Sholmes]

TV channels who, when repeating some programme for the 400th time that year, introduce it by saying “another chance for you to see…”

[Tel]

I had three more, in person, So Sayers today. I wonder if we are allowed to scalp 'em.

[Richard Patterson]

I am very irritated by your phrasing here, which implies Thompson may have murdered his prostitute lover! Ridiculous exaggeration of the idea that he walked the streets looking for her due to affection.

I’ve already been gently told off for talking about him here in irritations. Shhh.

[andy1867]

Football supporters who whitter on about "Playing a "false No 9" in the hole behind an underlapping centre half".....No-one knows what ANY of it means...Obviously I know what a "Hole" is..cos me football clubs in one.
Whatever happened to just shouting
"Offside Ref!!"
"Handball Ref!"
"Out it"
"Awaaay"
"Lump it!!"
Its all so overcomplicated now


Agree?



Or have I "Lost the dressing room?"

[The Rookie Detective]

"Have you been to Nandos before?"

[The Rookie Detective]

"... press 8 for reception... press 9 to speak to an adviser... press star to repeat... press hash to hold... press 0, 1, and then hash plus star to request a callback"

[The Rookie Detective]

When your wife tells you she's had a bath and shaved her legs...but now has a migrane, all in the same breath.

[The Rookie Detective]

When your wife asks you semi-psychotically if you've done what she's asked you to do...and you try and fight back with a quip of sarcasm...before being torn a new one for answering her back.

[The Rookie Detective]

When you are making an important call...but are transfered to another department...but then are put on hold....and you wait...and you wait...









and you wait...



and you wait...



and then the line cuts off.

[The Rookie Detective]

When you sit on your sofa all set to the next episode of your favourite show... but it's on freeview, and the digital signal is worse than analogue from the 1970's.

[The Rookie Detective]

When it's a Saturday afternoon, and you turn the telly on to watch something that doesn't require an App, but there's Rugby on BBC1, Formula One on BBC2, Horse Racing on Channel 4, Golf on 5, and an FA Cup tie between Rotherham and Burnley on ITV...

eek.

[The Rookie Detective]

When you fancy a whole takeaway pizza to yourself, but out of courtesy you ask your wife if she wants any.

She replies "no!"

But knowing what she's like, you ask her again. Perhaps you should get 2 pizzas? One each?

But she is adamant this time.
A resounding "no."

So you order a pizza.

It arrives soon after.


And before you've even had a chance to open the box and savour that sweet smell of cooked to perfection pizza... guess who now wants some?