Irritations

[Ms Diddles]

Actors on TV eating fish and chips (yes I know, it sounds strange) Fish and chips are one of the greatest meals ever invented and can only be eaten with gusto and enjoyment and I find it really irritating when I see actors eating them on TV. Often it’s the police at night in the incident room. Firstly they tend to use those pointless little wooden forks! What’s wrong with fingers? Fish and chips are best enjoyed using fingers. Next they pick up a chip, a single chip and bite it in half! Why do they have to portray such delicate, tiny-mouthed eating? No one needs to bite a chip in half to eat it…a sausage yes…a chip no! And then they spend about 2 minutes chewing….half a chip! Babies can down a chip faster than that. How delicate is their digestive system? Why don’t they just tip the whole meal into a blender and be done with it! Finally, they eat one chip..spend five minutes talking…then eat another then another five minutes. Worst of all is when they spend 5 minutes talking with a chip in their fingers waving it around and pointing with it! So after half an hour they have eaten around 5 chips and perhaps a tiny mouthful of fish and they have on their desk in front of them a portion of cold fish and chips!

Sacrilege! A disgraceful way to treat such a wonderful meal!!

I had never considered this before Herlock, but now you mention it, I think I know the phenomenon you are talking about.

It's more of an "ick" than an irritation, but I have always found the sight of small children eating sausage rolls seriously disturbing and frankly repugnant!

Something about their greasy little fingers and dribbly pastry encrusted mouths, the horrible pink meat and sounds of mastication make me feel quite nauseous and I need to remove myself immediately from the vicinity.

It's got marginally better since Greggs introduced their vegan sausage roll (so I convince myself that perhaps it's not actually meat they're consuming), but still, just NO!!!

[Ms Diddles]

Professional soccer players who at the slightest bump fall to the ground like a sack of spuds. Then no matter where the bump was they clutch their shin and writhe around as if in mortal agony. Surprisingly, well hardly surprising, when awarded a free kick they leap to their feet. They deserve a red card for bad acting.

Well yes, it's annoying but I always enjoy it when the Italians do this!

[Ms Diddles]

Women who wear sunglasses on top of their heads even when it is the middle of summer and the sun is super bright. Guess it is style over eye protection.

c.d.

Well to be fair c.d, sometimes we stick them on our heads and simply forget that they're there.

We're not used to a sunny climate here in Scotland so we're not so practiced with our use of sunglasses.

[Ms Diddles]

It's like my outdoor shed, I bought a tool shed for the mower, the snowblower, table saw, tools of all kinds, but then I overheard some insidious suggestion that the windows needed a set of curtains......

But isn't that a good thing Wick?

You can have a nap or get stuck into the home brew (or do whatever it is that blokes do in their shed) away from prying eyes.

I'd have thought curtains in a shed would be quite desirable. No?

[Ms Diddles]

Folks wearing crocks with socks in the rain!!!

Yeah, that's pretty grim!

[Wickerman]

....I'd have thought curtains in a shed would be quite desirable. No?

She settled for a couple of floral window boxes, to add a bit of colour.... I hid the shed keys...

[Herlock Sholmes]

I’ll add this recent phenomena of people being insanely picky eaters. What’s wrong with people. I saw a programme a few weeks ago and a couple of people were in an English town/village and they were trying locally sourced/made foods. One was a perfectly normal sausage with something added like mustard or a herb. The person trying it wasn’t a vegetarian or anything like it but as she went to bite it you’d have thought that someone had handed her a turd. How can you be so sensitive to the possibility of a slightly new taste? She chewed the tiniest piece as if she was revolted by it but said that it was actually “ok.”

Kids today are an absolute nightmare. I’m sorry but I put it down to parents having an ‘anything for a quiet life attitude.’ And yes I know I’ll be accused of ‘grumpy old man syndrome’ (I’m not 59 until December) but if more parents simply put their foot down and said ‘you either eat what the rest of the family are having or you don’t eat’ then they would eat it eventually.

[Herlock Sholmes]

And surely there can’t be so many food ‘intolerances’? I’m sure that some people just like to feel special and they aren’t happy unless they can say “yes, I’ve got x so I can’t eat rhinoceros.”