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Originally posted by Blackkat View PostOMG!!! HAHAHHAA
ahh I needed that today. That was a great joke!
Best,
CelLast edited by Celesta; 08-22-2008, 09:58 PM."What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"" From Pyramids by Sir Terry Pratchett, a British National Treasure.
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Originally posted by Mitch Rowe View Post"What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"" From Pyramids by Sir Terry Pratchett, a British National Treasure.
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Ooooooooooooooooooooh Gawd Mr Q you have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cheered me up stuck with a 24hr BP thingy here that's driving me mad but have been wetting myself here!!! (Well not quite!!!) Thanks sooo much for cheering me up....Charles Penrose always carries me off!!!
Suz xxxxxxxx'Would you like to see my African curiosities?'
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Originally posted by JackTheRippa5 View Postdidnt find it amusing i guess ?"What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"" From Pyramids by Sir Terry Pratchett, a British National Treasure.
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A guy walks into a bar ...
once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink." So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, "What's the name of your penis?" The guy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink." The gay bartender says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis." So the guy looks at the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?" The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, "TIMEX." The guy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!" A little shaken, the guy turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita, "So, what do you call your penis?" The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because quality is Job 1", he then ads, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" Even more shaken, the guy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me my beer." The bartender begins to pour the guy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?" The guy says, "because it's strong enough for a man but made for a woman!""Truth only reveals itself when one gives up all preconceived ideas. ~Shoseki
When one has one's hand full of truth it is not always wise to open it. ~French Proverb
Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed, in the second it is opposed, in the third it is regarded as self-evident. ~Arthur Schopenhauer
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Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot.""Truth only reveals itself when one gives up all preconceived ideas. ~Shoseki
When one has one's hand full of truth it is not always wise to open it. ~French Proverb
Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed, in the second it is opposed, in the third it is regarded as self-evident. ~Arthur Schopenhauer
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Originally posted by Blackkat View PostA guy walks into a bar ...
once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink." . He turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me my beer." The bartender begins to pour the guy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?" The guy says, "because it's strong enough for a man but made for a woman!"
Good one, BK! I'm switchin' to Suave! I swear, I didn't even see this coming when he said 'Secret!'"What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"" From Pyramids by Sir Terry Pratchett, a British National Treasure.
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A prostitute is involved in a very bad automobile accident. A cop runs up to the car and says "Miss, are you all right?" She replies "no, I think I've gone blind, I can't see anything." The cop holds up his hand in front of her face and says" how many fingers do I have up here?" She says "Oh, my God, I'm paralyzed too.
c.d.
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