Irritations

[Herlock Sholmes]

I just arrived at my aunts house to find her watching Dickinson’s Real Deal (for non-UK posters it’s a programme where people bring in items which dealers try and buy)

Before the programme came on the announcer said, something like “and now Dickinson’s Real Deal which contains two drawings of naked women by a well known artist.”

This wasn’t just a bit of information about what was for sale today, this was a warning. A ‘naked woman drawing’ alert.

[Abby Normal]

cd i worked at a lot of restaurants too when i was younger. i the remember my first time the waiters warned me that scottish people and or pipe smokers were always cheap on the tip. so true lol.

speaking of getting sacked..I got canned once as a bouncer because i refused to work on xmas eve. of course there was a huge fight that night and my manager had to break it up because no one would work the door that night. the next time i was scheduled to work a few days later i go in and was greeted by manager sporting a big ole black eye and my last pay check. i laughed my arse off all the way home.

i got a hundred of these stories. too funny.

[FISHY1118]

Yup .

Okay

[c.d.]

People you don't know who call you and leave a voice mail message asking you to call them back. When they give their number they hold their hand over their mouth and say it at the speed of sound and don't repeat it a second time. Idjits.

c.d.

[c.d.]

The cocktail waitresses at my restaurant used to wear these long, slinky black dresses with a slit up the side. On Friday and Saturday nights they had extra busboys helping out. They were usually 16 or 17 year-old high school kids. The waitresses would approach them getting very close and bat their lashes saying I know that's not your table but do you think you could clear it just for me? Followed by a little shot of cleavage to go with the request. Poor kids. They could barely manage to mumble a yes and you could see the perspiration forming on their faces.

c.d.

[Herlock Sholmes]

And one more story (I got a bunch). A customer ordered a steak and when I asked him how he wanted it cooked he said burnt black on the outside and raw in the middle. I thought right, very funny. But he was absolutely serious. When I told the kitchen what they wanted the cook said oh yeah, a Pittsburgh. Go figure.

c.d.

I thought that was the first line of the old joke c.d. With the customers response being “well that what I got the last time I ate here!”

[C. F. Leon]

Poor Training.

The first "REAL" job that I had was as a busser/dishwasher at a restaurant. (This was MANY years ago). I was 16 or so, and training was minimal and when I bussed a table that had had a large group at it, they did NOT tell me what to do with the tip that had just been left on the table (something on the order of $25). So, not knowing any better, I just bussed it and was going to ask as soon as I saw Someone. Well, we got busy, and I got delayed in doing so. Maybe 10 minutes later, the waitress comes flying in on her broomstick, literally screaming about her tip. There was a big fuss, and although I didn't get fired IMMEDIATELY (there was no one else to wash dishes on a Saturday Night), when I showed up for my next shift, I was told that I was fired (no more detail was given me).

[c.d.]

And one more story (I got a bunch). A customer ordered a steak and when I asked him how he wanted it cooked he said burnt black on the outside and raw in the middle. I thought right, very funny. But he was absolutely serious. When I told the kitchen what they wanted the cook said oh yeah, a Pittsburgh. Go figure.

c.d.

[c.d.]

When I was a waiter many years ago sometimes a customer would ask for a call brand in their drink meaning a specific brand of liquor. We always gave them what they asked for but charged them more than if they wanted a run of the mill liquor. I would stand at the bar and watch the bartender pour it from the requested brand bottle. Numerous times the customer would call me over and say sir, I ordered such and such and this is not it. I would say sir, I'm sorry but I watched the bartender pour it. They would get all huffy and say don't tell me that I have been drinking such and such for years. I would take it back to the bartender who would usually call the person an idiot and proceed to pour another from the exact same bottle. Now THIS is such and such they would say. Putz.

Oh yeah and sometimes people would order red wine and complain that it wasn't cold.

c.d.

P.S. And if you are wise never send a steak or anything back to the kitchen. They don't take kindly to it.

[Tani]

Wine.

It could cost £7 or it could cost £70.

What??

[Herlock Sholmes]

TV documentaries that do a lengthy recap after every advertisement break. When it comes to memory I’m hardly Kim Peek but I can manage not to forget a simple plot after 5 minutes distraction.

[Herlock Sholmes]

Store clerks who have attitude because they have a ****** job. I'm sorry you have a ****** job but having attitude ain't gonna make it any better.

c.d.

I might have mentioned it earlier in the thread c.d. but one thing that really gets me (and I don’t know if you experience this over there) is when an assistant behind the counter has his head to one side so that he can keep his phone between his ear and his shoulder and as you’re paying for your stuff they are still carrying on some inane conversation on the phone. Then if you ask them something they look at you as if you’re just an inconvenience. I then wonder if ‘being punched’ would inconvenience them too much?

[c.d.]

Store clerks who have attitude because they have a ****** job. I'm sorry you have a ****** job but having attitude ain't gonna make it any better.

c.d.

[c.d.]

I bought pumpkins in mid-October to decorate the apartment. I looked at them the other day to see how they were holding up. They looked pretty good even after all this time. But when I picked up the largest to check it more closely the whole bottom fell out and nasty black, moldy pumpkin guts fell all over the floor. Like an idiot, I tried to sweep them up with a dust pan and broom. All that did was make the broom all nasty and gunked up.

c.d.

[Tani]

I'm writing my uni dissertation and the word count is becoming really irritating