Happy "We Beat British Butt" Day!

[Ally]

[Monty]

The last time you saw a war from begining to end.

Usually you don't come it until half time, when all the hard graft is done.

Monty

[Ally]

You mean when we come in and clean up the messes our European neighbors make? It's okay, you don't need to say thank you, we're glad to help when our neighbors start global conflicts they can't win.

Have you guys ever had a war in the last 200 years you've been able to win? Oh wait there was that whole little thing with Argentina a couple decades ago. Good job boys, good job. Them argentines is uppity.

[Monty]

I recall it more standing alone for democracy whilst y'all sat on yer podgy asses with your fingers in your ears....till it hit your cosy lil Pacific sun lounger. Oh then you $hit yourselves.

Are we seriously going down this track? Cos I recall how those mighty Grenadians narked you guys off. So much so you raided their beach huts. Those coconuts bouncing off your helmets must have really smarted....ouch huh?

Monty

[Ally]

Oh indeed, when it's y'all getting your butts pounded, it's upholding democracy. When it's us, it's American's foisting their warmongering on all the world.

But you are right. All that doesn't matter, on this glorious day. All that matters is we, the rag-tag band of colonists, whooped the buts of the glorious empire and all their pretty little red-coated nancy boys.

[Monty]

Trying to recall where you come into the wining side of it....seeing as we roped the dope and the Russians beat us all to it. As I said, you tend to wander in when the opposition is on the wain or too busy making cocktails on the beach.

Kinda like John Terry.

If we had coconuts history would have been different.

Monty

[Ally]

Uh huh. We beat, your pasty white British empire butts, with a couple of pitchforks and a winning disposition. I realize you are trying desperately to put up every "since then" scenario you can possibly muster, but the bottom line remains:

Colonial farmers demolished to glory of the British empire. Whooped by a bunch of farmers. I can understand how you want to redirect.

[Graham]

In the United Kingdom, 4th July is called Thanksgiving - need I explain?

And how's it going with the Taliban, Yanks?

G

[Ally]

See how all the Brits have to deflect from the shame?

[Graham]

And do you have a national celebration every 30 April, with street parties and fireworks?

G

[Monty]

Uh huh. We beat, your pasty white British empire butts, with a couple of pitchforks and a winning disposition. I realize you are trying desperately to put up every "since then" scenario you can possibly muster, but the bottom line remains:

Colonial farmers demolished to glory of the British empire. Whooped by a bunch of farmers. I can understand how you want to redirect.

Colonial British Farmers....they beat their own.

It was more a realisation that we were globally overstretched. We decided to cut the deadwood, and that meant you I'm afraid. Far more prosperity in India and Africa at that time, and Australia...Asia...Europe.....

However you love us. You stole our place names, food and you took Piers Morgan off us, for which we are grateful. You even speak our language.

So, things aren't really that differrent. Still a pretend GB, just louder and a tad more obese.

Anyway...Happy Birthday to our lil cousins.

Monty

[c.d.]

At least here in America we know which side of the damn road you are supposed to drive on. Plus you are just jealous that we have great beers like Bud Light readily available to us.

c.d.

[Robert]

CD, America gave the world the singing of Barbara Streisand. How can you ever atone for this?

[c.d.]

CD, America gave the world the singing of Barbara Streisand. How can you ever atone for this?

And you gave the Olympics "Eddie the Eagle". Let's call it even.

c.d.

[Graham]

At least here in America we know which side of the damn road you are supposed to drive on. Plus you are just jealous that we have great beers like Bud Light readily available to us.

c.d.

Now come on, fellow Brits - don't ever let it be said that Yanks don't have a sense of humour (correct spelling, by the way).

G