Females help me out with some advice

[ChainzCooper]

Monty,

Use a flintlock and say it was a reenactor's accident. I'm a witness.

Chainz,

I have the best idea ever. Tell her that you are gay and she is the only one who knows. Tell her how good it feels to get that off your chest. Then you start wearing designer stuff and get your hair frosted and styled. Become more fashionable than she is. She will want to hang out with you and somewhere down the line she will say something like, "Have you ever been with a girl?" In shock you will answer, "Of course not. How could you ask that? I am gay." She will apoligize, but some day she will do it again and then she will suggest, "You know I understand what's going on with you, but we are best friends. If you wanted to just try a girl, you know I'm there for you." You will make little objections and then she will, like a good salesperson, nullify your objections until you are both in throes of passionate lovemaking.

The down side to this is if she becomes pregant. It's difficult, especially in rural areas for a gay man and a straight woman to raise a child together.

I think I've solved the problem. This always works for Tom Wescott.

Mike

(Don't believe me)

Hahahaha man that had me in fits Mike. Good one
Jordan

[ChainzCooper]

*Sigh* Monty, Monty, Monty....you're just too easy, old son.

Chainz:

GM's idea is a good one, definitely. Or just watch a few episodes of "How I Met Your Mother", there's some great tips on there from time to time....


Cheers,
Adam.

I watch about 3 shows on TV and thats not one of them. If its not South Park,Sons of Anarchy, or Dog The Bounty Hunter then I'm not interested usually
Jordan

[Adam Went]

Chainz:

Trust me, get your notepad out and watch just one or two episodes of HIMYM, and you'll be set....I don't see any dating tips coming out of South Park any time soon, unless it's to vomit all over her every time she speaks to you.

heers,
Adam.

[ChainzCooper]

Not really into sitcoms that much but thanks for the advice
Jordan

[ChainzCooper]

Well just to give you guys another update (if anyone is still paying attention haha) I had a good talk with her tonight as she was not overly busy at work. Shes finishing school for the semester Tuesday so I think we will finally do something. Oh, my birthday is coming up next week and she told me tonight I look 5 years younger than I'm going to be. So thats good, I'll keep you guys posted as always
Jordan

[Robert]

Jordan, all this soul-searching is really only for the females. They expect us lot to just blunder in - then they can have the pleasure of telling their friends how gross we are.

[ChainzCooper]

Who is soul searching? Me or her?
Jordan

[ChainzCooper]

Well today is my birthday and we had a big get together at the restaurant. The best part was dessert,everyone sang to me. Then she gave me a piece of cake with a strawberry and fed me the first piece. It was really sexy. She also gave me these expensive beer glasses as a present and we kissed. So it was a good birthday
Jordan

[Canopy]

Well today is my birthday and we had a big get together at the restaurant. The best part was dessert,everyone sang to me. Then she gave me a piece of cake with a strawberry and fed me the first piece. It was really sexy. She also gave me these expensive beer glasses as a present and we kissed. So it was a good birthday
Jordan

Awww! That's lovely (and BELIEVE that I can be the bitch from hell if you listen to my husband!) - THAT'S the kind of thing I'd do if I was 100% HAPPY!!! SOMETIMES my husband makes me 100% happy and he KNOWS it...sometimes he goes out with his mates, turns up at 4am (waking me up) and THEN goes and pees all over the toilet seat that I then need sit on at a later date...NO THANK YOU! (enter the bitch from hell!) I am not even going to try and pretend that I'm a nice person to be around if somebody goes and pees everywhere, HOWEVER, I am generally a nice person. Your lady sounds 100% HAPPY!!! - YEY!!!

C.

[ChainzCooper]

Thanks Canopy for the kind words. Just to give another update she got to punch out of work early tonight because they weren't busy. So she sat down with me and we talked for about 30 minutes before she left. It was a lot of fun chatting with her. We left at the same time and I gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek. Her birthday is Tuesday so I am giving her 22 yellow roses because shes turning 22. I think I'll get her a nice card to go with it, nothings too good for my lady. This will hopefully sweep her off her feet hehe
Jordan

[Canopy]

Hello!

I think the colour of roses mean things (at least in the UK) - red, pink, white and yellow. I'm not too sure what means what but think yellow (or it may be pink!) are given in friendship...I *think* it's red for lust, pink for love, white for thought/purity and yellow for friendship...

Any-ho, if somebody gave me 22 roses of ANY colour I'd be more than a little touched!

All the best,

C.

[The Good Michael]

Chainz,

You need to do what Bogart would do. Dames are a dime a dozen and need to be treated as such, A shot of good bourbon and a bit of manhandling will have her quivering in your arms like a bowl of jello. Say she tries to pull away, you just slap her around a bit until she comes to her senses. Flowers are dead things, lust is alive. Here's looking at you Chainz.

Mike

[ChainzCooper]

Hello!

I think the colour of roses mean things (at least in the UK) - red, pink, white and yellow. I'm not too sure what means what but think yellow (or it may be pink!) are given in friendship...I *think* it's red for lust, pink for love, white for thought/purity and yellow for friendship...

Any-ho, if somebody gave me 22 roses of ANY colour I'd be more than a little touched!

All the best,

C.

Yeah I work at a florist and roses all do have different meanings. Red is the most popular which is for love. I think yellow is her favorite color so I will probably give her red ones later. Shes going to like them I'm going to get her a nice card too, I'm trying to sweep her off her feet
Jordan

[Canopy]

Hello!

Well, I always though "red for love" but then my mate (who is into these things!) informed me that red was lust and I *think* pink for love...I could be wrong as it was a while back but remember being shocked that red wasn't love!

Mike is NAUGHTY - ignore him as, if he dared come try 'slap me around a bit', I would have him trying to rescue his private bits within seconds!!! I would not advise that you go listen to Mike if you want your relationship to thrive!!! (Mike, you devil!!!)

All the best,

C.

[The Good Michael]

Mike is NAUGHTY - ignore him as, if he dared come try 'slap me around a bit', I would have him trying to rescue his private bits within seconds!!! I would not advise that you go listen to Mike if you want your relationship to thrive!!! (Mike, you devil!!!)

You see, you're like all dames. A little rough stuff and you immediately reach for Mr. Johnson, only I ain't so easy, see? It's gonna be on my terms or it's gonna be nothing, and you can take a walk. Plenty more kippers in the canal if you catch my drift.