Females help me out with some advice

[Sister Hyde]

First time I agree with Mike this year.
Shame on me.

[The Good Michael]

First time I agree with Mike this year.
Shame on me.

David, I think you probably agree with me on 90% of things. It's this blasted site and your refusal to be rational that puts us at odds. I do try, however.

Mike

[DVV]

Dunno.
Depends whether you like Chris Ashton or not.

[Rubyretro]

[QUOTE=DVV;167572]Dunno.
Depends whether you like Chris Ashton or not.[/QUOTE[

Ah. Rugby.

I love you dearly (from afar) -but maybe we should consider a trial separation
...just for a short while you understand ?

I will 'look after' the garlic crusher and Pogues cds -but it won't be for long I'm certain of it !!!

(unless you let me have those friends-that-you- hate over to watch endless reruns of
'Withnail and I' and 'Spinal Tap'...whilst you watch the Rugby ???).

[Rubyretro]

[QUOTE=Rubyretro;167576]

Dunno.
Depends whether you like Chris Ashton or not.[/QUOTE[

Ah. Rugby.

I love you dearly (from afar) -but maybe we should consider a trial separation
...just for a short while you understand ?

I will 'look after' the garlic crusher and Pogues cds -but it won't be for long I'm certain of it !!!

(unless you let my friends-that-you-hate come over to watch 'Spinal Tap' and 'Withnail and I' -in english- all over again, and drink wine and try on shoes , while you watch the rugby ??)...?

[Rubyretro]

Ho Ho ho ! You can see that I tried to hide the 'shoe habit' ! (I didn't mean to do a second Post, only edit the first one ..).

Luckily you don't know about the 'un-negotiable' Bob Dylan habit either..

So...maybe we can do a deal with the Rugby afterall...?

(You know that it's all about compromise David..)

[c.d.]

What nonsense is this. Dames are a dime a dozen. You give 'em your best sneer and offer to let them buy you a drink, single malt. If they don't, tell them not to come crawling to you when they need sex, because you're better than that. When they leave in a huff, tell them not to let the door hit them in the a$$, delete them from your cell phone and don't return emails. Soon, they'll be begging you for your love, but you won't give in because you're a man, and dames are everywhere.

Mike

Hear, Hear, Mike. Well said! Although it does remind me of one of my favorite cartoons. A very well dressed man in a three piece suit and holding a briefcase is speaking to a bum who is laying on the street, clothes torn and dirty and a can of Sterno in his hand. The man in the suit says "imagine running into you like this. You know the guys in the office still talk about the time you told the boss to stick it."

Sadly, I think all of us men get the point.

c.d.

[The Good Michael]

CD,

The good thing about that story is that it tells it like it is. A real man would rather tell his boss to stick it and then be homeless, than to not tell him how he felt.

Mike

[Rubyretro]

The good thing about that story is that it tells it like it is. A real man would rather tell his boss to stick it and then be homeless, than to not tell him how he felt.

So...maybe we can do a deal with the Rugby afterall...?
You know that it's all about compromise David

No comment.

[johns]

Well I'm no expert on chatting up the ladies, but most of the local young men seem to do pretty well using the following tactics.

Speak in a barely audible manner... I guess the reasoning is that the lady will have to lean closer to hear what you're saying

then she will smell your

Cut price booze odour... I imagine that ladies are enticed by the intoxicating waft of cheap Buckfast/Talon lager/whatever is on offer at the Keystore this week

Spit profusely everywhere on a continual basis... I would imagine that the local ladies are bewitched by the sight of a group of grunting, oafish lads spitting a river down the pavement, as they text moronic messages to their ape-like friend stood 2 feet away...

Make sectarian and bigoted remarks wherever possible at Catholics, blacks, Celtic/Rangers fans.... whoever really... doesn't matter... just be a loud mouthed bigot.

Swear a lot.... If you use more swear words than actual words... you're in!!

Be lazy.... don't work, or if you do, do your job badly. The ladies will appreciate you saving your energies for them.



Well it seems to pay dividends round my part of this planet.

[c.d.]

There was a great line from "Seinfeld." George decided to engage in a preemptive break up with the woman he was dating in order to gain the upper hand (or simply hand as he called it) in the relationship. It worked for a short while before she decided it was over. As she was walking out the door, he said "you can't leave, I have hand." Her response was "that's good because you're going to need it."

c.d.

[DVV]

Ruby, my dear, I read and re-read your posts, scratching my head and cursing my poor command of English.
Garlic, rugby, Dylan, compromise....I sure won't sleep tonight with that unsolved rebus in mind.

[Rubyretro]

Ruby, my dear, I read and re-read your posts, scratching my head and cursing my poor command of English.
Garlic, rugby, Dylan, compromise....I sure won't sleep tonight with that unsolved rebus in mind.

Darling -I suggested that we make a garlickly dish together, we watch Chris Ashton being violent and very boring because of an oval ball, whilst listening to Bobby warbling a lecture on unhapiness penned from his comfortable pad in California...
isn't that exciting enough for you ??

(if things were just perfect-who knows?- we could have some irirtating children constantly chipping in and making unreasonable demands ?

-or at least a bossy cat..)

[DVV]

isn't that exciting enough for you ??

It definitely is, sugar...

[Sister Hyde]

i think c.d. might need another round with the girls here. you never EVER learn do you???