Cricket, lovely cricket

[richardnunweek]

Hi
Cricket is a cruel game, Yardy had two wickets including Watson, feeling on top of the world, then in to bat he goes.. whoops..oh dear inflated.
Why such a intrest in poor Michael , he is my nephew, my sister Bevs lad.
Never mind we won.
England to repeat last years win, and I have punted accordingly.
Richard.

[Steven Russell]

Shane Warne is my dad but you don't hear me bragging about it. My mam says she was drunk and needed the money.

Steve.

[Adam Went]

"We are the champions,
We are the champions,
No time for LOSERS,
Cause we are the champions....of the world"

Behold, Poms. The resurgence has begun.

Steven:

Don't stress, GSTQ will be on its way shortly....I WILL get around to it!

Cheers,
Adam.

[Steven Russell]

Adam: no worries, mate. Enjoy your T20 victory; I reckon the ODIs are going to be close. But if the cricketing gods had offered me a seven - nil drubbing in the ODIs and an Ashes victory before the tour, I'd have settled for that so I'm not that bothered how the series pans out. One-day stuff is good fun and everything but I've never been comfortable with the way a side can win a game without taking a wicket (in theory). At least your selectors showed some bottle in picking proper strike bowlers.

Best wishes,
Steve.

PS I'm glad you finally have something to celebrate but you can't call it a resurgence. Everybody knows you have a good one-day side - it's the test team (who will remain rubbish until they start winning) you need to worry about. Bet you wish you could have had Lee and Tait in The Ashes.

[Monty]

Note the simple Australian male in his enviroment.

After months of being ridiculed his team wins a game, just-by 4 runs, and he resorts to that age old condition suffered by most Australians - Antpideani Dickheadsus Idiotium Regulatae.

This condition spreads fast once an Australian sees his team win, especially after many months of crushing defeats. The symptoms are misplaced over confidence, delirium, the speaking of complete and utter crap swiftly followed by disappearence when his team gets rapidly whooped again and finally dillusion that he doesn't care and/or the future is bright.

The condition is devastating. It makes the suffer seem imbecilic. This is what makes the condition so difficult to diagnose amongst Australian males.

Adam is 11, and is a cronic sufferer. However if you donate a mere 25p a week we can end this. 25p will buy us gaffer tape which is placed over the mouth, thus curing the sufferer instantainously.

Together we can beat 'Aussie Gob'.

Monty


PS I hope Shane Warne gets this charity game on in aid of the Queensland Disaster victims. Terrible event and, despite my banter, I plea to any who reads this to help if they can, in any way they can.

[Adam Went]

Steven:

Yes, a shame that Lee and Tait aren't available for Tests, but Tait is hot and cold at the best of times, and at 34, Lee isn't exactly the future - though it is fantastic to see him back in Aussie colours again and doing well.

Monty Attenborough:

I find it somewhat amusing that you accuse me of becoming over-excited at a victory, when it's still very fresh in my memory that you lot had a ROYAL PARADE to celebrate your 2005 Ashes series....what was that, the now retired Paul Collingwood who scored 7 runs for the entire series became Paul Collingwood MBE? Hypocrite!

As for Queensland, aside from the cash donation i'm also working with the Salvo's and buying several hundred dollars worth of brand new supplies to send up to the Queenslanders....we are Australian, and we WILL beat this together. The best thing the Aussie team can do is get a win in the ODI series, particularly at the GABBA.....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Do you mean the Paul Collingwood who was part of the great Ashes winning teams in 05, 09 and 10/11, became the first Englishman in 78 years to score over 200 (206) in an innings in Australia, one of the greatest fielders ever to play the game, a master tactician who helped Strauss outwit your bats ALL
summer, Captain of Durham and Captain of the T20 World Champions, England?

You mean that Paul Collingwood yeah?

We only parade after we done dusted, we don't celebrate during the game like you did in the 1st Test. It embarrasses when you end up struggling to hang in the game.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

As I seem to recall it, that double ton from Colly you refer to was in the Adelaide test of 2006/07, when the UN famously made 551 in the first innings and went on to lose the match, was it not? You know, when Shane Warne bowled heroically on the final day, despite your previous assertions that he was hopeless post-2005?

But speaking of absolutely brilliant innings, what about Shane Watson's 161 in the first ODI, eh? Class. Just absolute class. Not to mention the highest individual score in an ODI at the MCG. And a victory first up for us, of course.

I seem to recall hearing a saying about never quoting an imbecile, but I digress on this occasion:

"The March Continues!"

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Now where is that Urn, its around here somewhere....always is.

Oh, I'm sorry Adam, I tuned out. Missed the drivel you were spewing. Something about the past, a game that doesn't matter and Sherlock Holmes...no, Dr Watson....SHANE WATSON, that's it, you were on about SHANE WATSON....who finally hits a ton when it way too late.

Monty


PS have you seen our urn?

[Adam Went]

*Yawn*....it's all getting a bit monotonous now.....another Aussie ton, another victory, another UN humiliation, another duck from Traitorsen.

Don't even pretend you're not concerned about this Monty, the Ashes are what's in the past now, but the World Cup is just around the corner, and your team is, for want of a better expression, shithouse.

Now, off to bask in the glory once more....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Yeah, one dayers, we were awful blah bah blah, yeah we give a **** all right.....

....You sure you haven't seen our urn Wenty?

What am I saying, you aint see it these past 3 years.

Monty....who admires Adams fascade that one dayers really matter, let him be. He ain doing any harm.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Let me just quantify this whole Ashes urn thing for ya. When we regained them under the brilliant captaincy of Allan Border in 1989, I was just about to be born. By the time we next lost an Ashes series in 2005 I was just about to finish my last year of high school. That's how long it was. And you're waffling on about having them for the last two years? Sad.

You were quick to point out the UN victory in the first T20 match - surely you don't think T20 is more important than ODI? If you do, you are what the Romans would have called "douchimus maximus".

"Fascade" - facade, perhaps? Honestly, when you send an article in to one of the Rip periodicals, the editors must sit down and have a little cry....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Oop, everything has gone wavy, is Adam having one of his flashbacks to the past?

Like a feckin Hovis advert.

I know, spelling awfyl. Kontent fecking awesome which is why they keep asking me back. How many you done now? 1? 2?. Then you throw in the 2 books, podcast, radio and TV documentary I've done its a wonder isn't it. Must be my good looks and talent, but not my grammar and spelling. Hey that's not my job though. I just produce awesome articles.

Oh, and the cricket. You stick with the kiddy game, leave the real mens test stuff to the big boys. And by the way, I found our urn. We had it all along, since 2009 apparently. I shoulda known.

Mwah x

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

What's Hovis?

Kontent fecking awesome which is why they keep asking me back. How many you done now? 1? 2?.

Four, actually. With the fifth one, "Cousin Lionel: The Life and Career of Lionel Druitt" coming out in the Examiner next issue. Check it out. (How's that for a seamless plug?) And i've just been asked, and agreed, to write another. Hey Monty, maybe we should collaborate on something, eh? I'll teach you a thing or two.

Oh, and the cricket. You stick with the kiddy game, leave the real mens test stuff to the big boys. And by the way, I found our urn. We had it all along, since 2009 apparently. I shoulda known.

So are you saying you don't care about the World Cup either?
I guess you wouldn't actually, if you team had been humiliatingly beaten by several of the minnows in the past....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

4 huh? Wow.

"I guess you wouldn't actually, if you team had been humiliatingly beaten by several of the minnows in the past.... "

Collaboration? With your spelling? Its 'your' team, tsk, tsk. Come back to me when you can spell.

Yes, tis embarrassing getting beat by minnows, such as Australia. However the undoubted humiliation, the crushing innings defeats we executed upon them, the keeping of OUR urn more than makes up for it.

You know the real throphy sunshine, anything else isn't, well, Australian.

Monty