Cricket, lovely cricket

[Monty]

Whats all this UN nonsense? Micheal Slater was born in Manchester,Warney Is German and Ricky Pouting was born on the whinge.
Oz is an amazing country (genuinely sorry for the people affected by the flooding btw) but you have to try to get your head around the concept that unlike you colonials, English people are coveted by employers worldwide, and some of their kids are born abroad.
Apart from London apparently,there are loads of Aussies there, serving the English drinks.
Take what comfort you can from your success in a meaningless ODI seies,when the pressure is on it will be calypso collapso and moaning your heads off again.
All the best.

Steady Martin,

Youre talking sense, he wont understand. He'll just stare at you like the Stig does.

May as well be speaking Martian....which is where Mitchell Johnson is from.

Monty

[martin wilson]

Hi all
Well to be fair to Mitch, whenever he plays England always cheat by playing another batsman called Extras.
He dont half score a lot.
All the best.

[Adam Went]

Wow. The UN make 6/333 and we still chase it down, a record breaking ODI victory....how humiliating for you!

What a cheating scum of a team you have - Prior deliberately knocking the bail off and claiming Johnson was bowled is one of the lowest acts i've seen for a while, and it's been an ongoing thing this series - fielders running around as the bowler comes in, fielders not in proper catching positions during powerplays. At least when we win, we do it fairly and in the spirit of the game, is your team really that bad following the Ashes that they now need to cheat to win?

Martin:

I believe you've contracted "Montyitis" - the complete inability to be able to write a cohesive, grammatically correct sentence.

But "onya" for the good wishes, just the same!

5-1, one to go....the pain is almost over, Poms.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Steven Russell]

Adam: spirit of the game? SPIRIT OF THE GAME? You make me laugh, my friend. The Aussies are the worst losers of all time! The kings of whingeing and juvenile tantrums especially darling Ricky.

I was beginning to wonder if you actually were an Aussie, Adam, since you do not start every sentence with, "Aw, look..." but your last post has convinced me that you are Strine through and through. That combination of gloating and whingeing is unmistakeable.

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Monty]

Wow. The UN make 6/333 and we still chase it down, a record breaking ODI victory....how humiliating for you!

What a cheating scum of a team you have - Prior deliberately knocking the bail off and claiming Johnson was bowled is one of the lowest acts i've seen for a while, and it's been an ongoing thing this series - fielders running around as the bowler comes in, fielders not in proper catching positions during powerplays. At least when we win, we do it fairly and in the spirit of the game, is your team really that bad following the Ashes that they now need to cheat to win?

Martin:

I believe you've contracted "Montyitis" - the complete inability to be able to write a cohesive, grammatically correct sentence.

But "onya" for the good wishes, just the same!

5-1, one to go....the pain is almost over, Poms.

Cheers,
Adam.

Adam,

What have I told you about nicking my material? Get yer own stuff. Geeze, once a convict....

You that desperate to be funny you're stealing my laughs?

Wanna talk about Hughes awful attempt at claiming a bump ball as a catch. Sheer desperation. Dispicable standards set yet so Australian.

Monty

[martin wilson]

The spirit of the game?
Seriously?
Like Lillee coming out with al aluminium bat which damaged the ball but just happened to be made by a company he had a financial interest in?
Like Trevor Chappel bowling underarm?
Or what about Warney,found guilty of passing information to a bookmaker?
He got a fine,if memory serves a couple of Indian players found guilty of the same offence got banned for life.
Oh,but hang on,without Warne you would have lost loads of test matches wouldn't you? Oh well, The Spirit Of The Game can go and get stuffed then.
The Aussie mentality,win at all costs and then claim you represent a load of non existent values on top of it.
Such insecurity,but then you have a lot to be insecure about.
All the best.

[Nothing to see]

The spirit of the game?
Seriously?
Like Lillee coming out with al aluminium bat which damaged the ball but just happened to be made by a company he had a financial interest in?
Like Trevor Chappel bowling underarm?
Or what about Warney,found guilty of passing information to a bookmaker?
He got a fine,if memory serves a couple of Indian players found guilty of the same offence got banned for life.
Oh,but hang on,without Warne you would have lost loads of test matches wouldn't you? Oh well, The Spirit Of The Game can go and get stuffed then.
The Aussie mentality,win at all costs and then claim you represent a load of non existent values on top of it.
Such insecurity,but then you have a lot to be insecure about.
All the best.

Trevor did what his brother told him to do. Then they had a donneybrook behind the toilet block.

Warne chases Elizabeth Hurley around toilet blocks and tweets while he's doing it.

Lillee had a partner. The greatest fast bowler the world has ever seen. Thommo. He didn't chase anyone around toilet blocks. He just crushed their sandshoes.

[martin wilson]

Hi all
Thommo? in his own words "I just run up and go wang!"
I heard a story he had to ask Ian Chappel which way he should hold the ball for the outswinger.
Lillee though,even if he did have an aversion to using willow when batting, he was some bowler,
I read about his back problems on his first tour over here, he still bowled through it, which does make me a little shamefaced that ours have to go off for an ice bath and a massage after a 6 over spell.
I was only half serious about Warney,in the true spirit of the game it would have been a crime if cricket lovers everywhere were denied the chance of seeing him strut his stuff.
I couldnt care less what he does with Elizabeth Hurley, he was wonderful to watch on a cricket field.
All the best.

[Adam Went]

Steven:

Last time I checked, whinging and tantrum throwing, if that's what you wish to call it, wasn't listed as cheating in the cricket rule book. I'm pretty sure, however, that deliberately knocking the bails off in order to make it appear the batsman has been bowled, as well as running around while the bowler is running in (Strauss himself did this, what an example for a Captain to set, eh?) are against the rules.

Are you saying that you condone the actions of Matt Prior?
Let's talk about Australian keepers....do you think Adam Gilchrist, one of very few international batsmen who walked, would have done something like that? A disgraceful act from Prior.

Monty:

As a cricketer, you should know that sometimes it's hard to tell whether the catch is clean or not - that's why we have reviews, mate.

I'm just looking forward to our little net session when I have the opportunity to come over there - I've actually been spending a little bit more time in the nets lately, getting prepared to show you once and for all who's the bitch.

Martin:

It amuses me that you have to go back to the days of Lillee and Chappell to think of instances of Australian "cheating" - and, as I recall, both bowling underarm and using an aliminium bat were within the rules at that time.

Yes, we win at all costs, but WITHIN the rules - are you also saying that you condone the actions of Prior and your fielders?

I bet Lillee and Thommo could still knock over the UN batting line up if they so desired....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

It bounced a kilometre in front of him Adam.

He knew exactly what he was doing. And know he has a reputation.

You wouldn't last five minutes out in the suqare with me. I'd leave you a jabbering wreck, not that we would tell the difference.

You lot still playing against are second eleven? Our main chaps are all home now, with the urn, that we won most convincingly, in fact we tore you apart, did you see the records fall, my goodness so many I can't recall them all, inings defeats all over the place, inning defeats, hammered.

Still, it doesn't matter, its the ODIs that matter.......pah, yeah, right.

What is your average now? 30? 40? 45 pies?

Don't poke the Lion son, it bites.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

I don't remember which catch you're referring to with Hughes, so I really can't comment, but i'm sure he wouldn't have claimed it if he knew for certain that it had bounced.

Hmm, so you're saying that Strauss, Pietersen, Anderson and Bell are all part of your "second eleven" eh? Ouch....that'll dent the ego's a bit.

Wouldn't last 5 minutes against you? HA! What do you bowl?
It's a shame really....you were probably a really good player back in the day, but age has taken its toll, the reflexes have slowed down and now you're frustrated by being a mere shadow of your former self, bowling "medium" pace at 40 km/h and not being able to handle the pace of off-spinners. I haven't forgotten the Facebook status about being bowled for a golden duck. Am I right or am I right? I look forward to the challenge, I really do. Our own mini-Ashes, eh?

Cheers,
Adam.

[martin wilson]

Hi Adam
Blimey,your weather is a horror show isnt it? after all that flooding,its a cyclone now,you bloody need that,I hope people are ok.
I thought your prime minister did ok by the way,even if she is Welsh,getting straight in there with the promise of federal funding.
Over here,before the government spends any money,they have to check its not going to cost the rich anything first.
Anyway back to the insults.
I was merely showing that Australia have a long and inglorious history of sticking two fingers up to the spirit of the game if it suits them.
Aussie whinging goes back even further,to the 30's when they actually complained to the British Government,just because we bowled a few bouncers.
Consider the cheat Waugh, thanks to him and his team,sledging or cheating imho as it disturbs the batsmans concentration has had to be accepted as part of the game.
That was a big improvement wasnt it?
As for the fool Gilchrist,how sporting.What a nice chap.
Except everybody else noticed he only ever walked when you had scored millions,he didnt do it very often when you were 60 odd for 5 did he?
You lot are like the kid in The Road,who needs constant reassurance from his dad that they are still the good guys.
"Aw look mate,we wanna win,but we wanna make sure we play the game the right way,and in the right spirit"
And you actually believe this!
Its this self delusion that makes everybody else think you are a bunch of hypocritical.utterly self absorbed arseholes.
No arguments from me on Lilee and Thommo btw, they would knock any side over,but they were great players, the guys you have got in now are two bob and everybody apart from you knows it.
All the best anyway.

[Monty]

Monty:

I don't remember which catch you're referring to with Hughes, so I really can't comment, but i'm sure he wouldn't have claimed it if he knew for certain that it had bounced.

Hmm, so you're saying that Strauss, Pietersen, Anderson and Bell are all part of your "second eleven" eh? Ouch....that'll dent the ego's a bit.

Wouldn't last 5 minutes against you? HA! What do you bowl?
It's a shame really....you were probably a really good player back in the day, but age has taken its toll, the reflexes have slowed down and now you're frustrated by being a mere shadow of your former self, bowling "medium" pace at 40 km/h and not being able to handle the pace of off-spinners. I haven't forgotten the Facebook status about being bowled for a golden duck. Am I right or am I right? I look forward to the challenge, I really do. Our own mini-Ashes, eh?

Cheers,
Adam.

I dont bowl. Im the guy behind you. The one who reminds you that you're only playing cos the fat opener suffered a heart attack laughing at your batting in the nets.

The one who stands 30 yards back just to put the frighteners on you.

The one who has gathered, swooped and whipped your bails off before youve even registered that the ball has left the bowlers arm.

The one who tells you to shift your huge arse cos it blocking my view.

The one who will snaffle any edge you produce and takes great delight in telling you that you are soooooooo out......again.

I am your Nemisis.

Respice post te! Hominem te memento!

Play

Monty

[Nothing to see]

Much as I dislike Warne and I do, no-one and nothing will ever take this away from him.

Gatting never knew what happened. Between the leg and the pads. Thanks very much ump. Finger up. That'll do nicely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOVei8iTyM8

[martin wilson]

Hi all
Thanks for posting that NTS, I was watching that live on the tv and I was as confused as Gatt, gobsmacker of a ball,poor old Gatt,it was that ball that started his comfort eating you know.
Warne also bowled Goochie out,I'm sure in the same series, that was just as good,only they dont show that one as much.
Warney in his pomp versus Beefy in the mood, I give my left knacker to see that.
Are you p'd off by Warneys' off field activities? go a bit easier on him,you should read Kieth Millers biograpy,compared to him Warney is a monk.
All the best.