Things That Are Just Pure B.S.

[c.d.]

There will be a slight delay while we redirect your call.

c.d.

[caz]

Online betting companies really do encourage you to gamble responsibly.

"When the fun stops, stop [because that'll be when we've already sucked you suckers dry]".

"Gets rid of up to 99% of dandruff/pimples/germs/plague". [So anything from 0.001% to 99% then, which is pretty impressive.]

"80% of the women surveyed [four nervous old dears in a nursing home and Peggy Mount] agreed with us that their skin felt smoother".

[caz]

How could I have missed out homeopathy?

[Sam Flynn]

Redundancies:

"Domestos kills all known germs dead"

"Work colleague"

"Pre-planning" and its evil relative "pre-prepare"

"Good skill" (a phrase beloved of sports commentators)

[Pcdunn]

Something that probably only UK shoppers know:
"unexpected item in bagging area."

Nope, American supermarkets have self-checkout stations, too. They work so well, they have a human clerk stationed nearby to assist you when YOU fail to follow the instructions properly.

[Herlock Sholmes]

Companies that make chocolates really do have chefs filling each individual chocolate with the care of someone diffusing a bomb.

[Herlock Sholmes]

Vincent Van Gogh might have been Jack The Ripper.

(I know....I really need to let this go )

[Robert]

"Men don't know where the dishwasher is."

Oh yes they do - she's in the kitchen.

[GUT]

“We’ve been told that you’ve recently been involved in a car accident. Is that true?”

You getting those of
Ver there too

[Herlock Sholmes]

You getting those of
Ver there too

They’re an absolute pain GUT. Six in one week is the worst we’ve had in our house. These people are now exempt from politeness.

[Herlock Sholmes]

“Just follow the simple on-screen instructions.”

[Herlock Sholmes]

TV stations are really being considerate when they say ‘here’s another chance for you to see.....’

[Herlock Sholmes]

People often see outfits at top fashion shows and say “I’d wear that.”

[Herlock Sholmes]

Myleene Klass’s desire to be taken seriously is never compromised by the fact that every time she’s photographed her clothes appear to have fallen off.

[Herlock Sholmes]

The thing that I like about Arsene Wenger is the fact that he’s never biased in his comments.