How Did The Apron Piece Get To Goulston Street?

[Doctored Whatsit]

I've just remembered that my wise old grandmother used to say, "Speak when you're spoken to, respect your elders, don't take sweets from strangers, and never trust an aardvark!"

[Herlock Sholmes]

Come on Herlock!

Use your Holmesian powers of deduction here!!!

An aardvark can't have written the graffito.

They don't have opposable thumbs to hold the chalk......

I'm not disputing that the aardvark dropped the apron, but he clearly had a primate accomplice who wrote the message.

I'm not 100% certain but the smart money is on a bonobo.

They have quite advanced linguistic skills and, I dunno really, but they just look the type.

I never considered the bonobo Ms D, I was working on the theory that the aardvark held the chalk in its mouth. Not impossible.

[Herlock Sholmes]

I've just remembered that my wise old grandmother used to say, "Speak when you're spoken to, respect your elders, don't take sweets from strangers, and never trust an aardvark!"

Good point my dear Whatsit. Anything an aardvark tells you is certainly ‘unsafe to rely on.’

[Herlock Sholmes]

Let’s not forget, London Zoo was founded from the Royal Menagerie only fifty years earlier.

Yes, security wasn’t such a consideration in those days especially for non-dangerous creatures like aardvarks. It’s why I discarded an earlier theory about a grizzly bear.

[Herlock Sholmes]

The shrews are the pets that will not be tamed for nothing.

[Dickere]

Come on Herlock!

Use your Holmesian powers of deduction here!!!

An aardvark can't have written the graffito.

They don't have opposable thumbs to hold the chalk......

I'm not disputing that the aardvark dropped the apron, but he clearly had a primate accomplice who wrote the message.

I'm not 100% certain but the smart money is on a bonobo.

They have quite advanced linguistic skills and, I dunno really, but they just look the type.

Was it a Jewish bonobo disguised as a little dark foreigner who obviously looks the type ? He'd have hanged in Hartlepool. You can't be too careful.

[Ms Diddles]

I never considered the bonobo Ms D, I was working on the theory that the aardvark held the chalk in its mouth. Not impossible.

Weren't the letters said to be written in a fairly literate schoolboy hand or something similar?

I doubt that even the most cunning of aardvark could have achieved this effect with the chalk in its mouth.

This has bonobo / aardvark conspiracy theory all over it!

[Ms Diddles]

I've just remembered that my wise old grandmother used to say, "Speak when you're spoken to, respect your elders, don't take sweets from strangers, and never trust an aardvark!"

Your gran was indeed a wise woman, Doc!

Those are words to live by.

I recall being terrified by the old public service campaigns of my childhood;

The Green Cross Code
Stranger Danger
Don't fly your kite next to an electricity pylon
Always avoid aardvarks, even if they tip their hat at you.

Scary but enlightening stuff.

[Ms Diddles]

Was it a Jewish bonobo disguised as a little dark foreigner who obviously looks the type ? He'd have hanged in Hartlepool. You can't be too careful.

Whoah! Hold the bus there, Dickere!

I'm not insinuating anything about the bonobo being either Jewish or foreign looking.

By saying that they "look the type" I was merely referring to the cheeky glint in their eye and their dexterity with a writing implement.

You're quite right though.

The old monkey-hangers from Hartlepool would have strung the poor thing up in a heartbeat.

They have previous for such behaviour, don't they?

[Ms Diddles]

https://newlearningonline.com/literacies/chapter-14/kanzi-learns-language

Facts, you see!

No mere idle speculation here.

[Dickere]

Whoah! Hold the bus there, Dickere!

I'm not insinuating anything about the bonobo being either Jewish or foreign looking.

By saying that they "look the type" I was merely referring to the cheeky glint in their eye and their dexterity with a writing implement.

You're quite right though.

The old monkey-hangers from Hartlepool would have strung the poor thing up in a heartbeat.

They have previous for such behaviour, don't they?

Allegedly, though being French is a hanging offence of course.

[Dickere]

https://newlearningonline.com/litera...earns-language

Facts, you see!

No mere idle speculation here.

If you're looking for a killer primate, here's your man. RIP Travis

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)

[Ms Diddles]

Allegedly, though being French is a hanging offence of course.

Well, right at this moment in time, I suspect the nation of Argentina would concur.

[Dickere]

Well, right at this moment in time, I suspect the nation of Argentina would concur.

Right at this moment, I suspect they're too pissed to care.

[Enigma]

Thank you to Herlock and all who contributed to what became an amusing and witty diversion from the usual discussions.