30 Things British People Say Vs What We Actually Mean.

[Amanda]

Hello..

Omg, these are funny. Really made me laugh.

To be honest with you everyone says goodbye and I've never known ANYONE to say 'right' and hang up.

But, again, in the movies I have seen the English saying 'Right', as in 'Right then' meaning (I guess) well, so is that the way it's going to be.

For example in American Werewolf in London when the nurse asks the werewolf guy now in the hospital will he please eat and he says he's not hungry and she says 'Right then' and puts food in his mouth.

Hi Beowulf,
Mmm, I've actually realised that me & my husband don't actually communicate in regular English as we always twist our words
Here are a few that I've used on him recently:

1. We need to eat more rice & pasta (meaning : if I have to peel another bloody potato I'll go crazy)

2. It was in the sale ( meaning: no, I didn't need that new dress or perfume, but it was in the sale)

3. Why don't you treat your workers to lunch today as it's the end of the month (meaning, I really can't be bothered to get up at 6am to make your sandwiches)

4. Have you let the cat out? (Meaning: why the hell did you let my darling cat out)

5. I've bought you a new shirt (meaning: please throw that shitty old checked shirt away, I'm sick & tired of seeing you in it)

Enjoy...
Amanda

[Fleetwood Mac]

We have a way of making 'not bad' have two completely different meanings. If we say 'not bad!' it means 'very good.' But if we say 'not bad' it means 'it's OK, but nothing special.'

It's part of the English character that nothing ever is particularly good or particularly bad.

Americans are an entirely different type of people.

I know I'm compartmentalising millions of people here, but I think national character holds true for the most part when talking of the English and the Americans.

We do share similarities with them, but they are mainly political. Clearly, a large part of the United States Constitution is based on English principles and the deeds of people who were English colonists prior to 1776 (think I've got the date right but could be wrong); and our two countries are strong allies because our politicians usually arrive at the same conclusion.

In terms of character, though, we are very different people. Stating the obvious, Americans by and large are schooled to be positive and optimistic; we're schooled to be realistic and sceptical.

I have to say I like Americans and the United States as a country, and hold the utmost respect for their political traditions. As a people they make good guides in museums and at historical events, but customer service is not a strong point despite popular opinion - having a waiter sprint over to your table and spend half an hour going through the menu in excrutiating detail, when they haven't been asked to explain the menu, is not good customer service.

Oh, and on the OP: "I hope so, mate". Usually meaning: "couldn't care less, we're all going to die anyway".

[Robert]

OK, having met very few Americans but having watched a fair amount of American TV, just for a bit of fun here is my totally stereotypical authoritative view of Americans.

They are individualists.

They are hospitable.

They resent their central government and still can't quite understand how they ended up having one.

They never use a thousand words where one will do.

They never use a word with four syllables where a word with one syllable will do.

They own guns but don't know how to use them.

They are geographically challenged.

Statistics loom large in their lives.

Money looms large in their lives.

They still think of themselves as a young people, even though they all derive from old peoples.

Whatever they do, whether it's buying groceries or fighting a war, they want to do as quickly as possible.

They can be very unsentimental, yet fall for faith healers, politicians and other charlatans.

The ones who live in the cities are a totally different species from the ones who live in the rest of the country.

They believe that if you're going to come second, you may as well come 10, 397, 464th.

They make good films and produce good comedy.

Youth and health loom large in their lives.

Despite health looming large in their lives, they think nothing of living on top of major fault-lines, or in tornado areas.

They seem oblivious to the fact that having perfect teeth when you're 96 looks strange.

When they feel threatened they are proactive rather than reactive.

They go into a kind of trance when listening to Country and Western music. It isn't sleep exactly - difficult to say what it is.

New England seems to be more English than the rest of the country.

The Mid-West isn't really the mid-west.

[Mayerling]

Hi Jeff,
Well, there I was having a few Friday night glasses of wine totally oblivious to having caused a pickle debate.
Let me introduce you to a very unique British product:

The cheese & pickle sandwich in my area is a medium cheese ( Cheddar is good) with something called 'Branston' pickle, which comes in a jar & consists of carrots, onion gherkins, sugar, apples, vinegar & tomato.
It tastes great with cheese, ham, Turkey, beef...

Trust me, you're missing something wonderful
Amanda

Hi Amanda,

Actually that "Branston" pickle does not sound like an item sold in our regular supermarkets, but I will try for some type of pickle substitute for the pleasure of one of these sandwiches.

Thanks for the tip.

Jeff

[Mayerling]

Love ketchup [tomato sauce] on eggs, know a lot of people who have it on cheese [after all what's a pizza] but not too sure about with cottage cheese, but always thought there was something weird about tricky Dicky.

G'day GUT,

To this day when asked my opinion on what Nixon's most interesting non-"Watergate" achievement as President was, I say, "He was the first major national leader since the Emperor Diocletian who tried to solve inflation problems with wage and price controls." He did too, I believe in 1973. It only lasted four months. But it was an interesting experiment while it lasted. Yet, except for fellow history buffs, when I mention it to people who lived in the Nixon Era, they look like I'm talking about some eruption on the surface of Alpha Centuri.

Jeff

[Mayerling]

OK, having met very few Americans but having watched a fair amount of American TV, just for a bit of fun here is my totally stereotypical authoritative view of Americans.

They are individualists.

They are hospitable.

They resent their central government and still can't quite understand how they ended up having one.

They never use a thousand words where one will do.

They never use a word with four syllables where a word with one syllable will do.

They own guns but don't know how to use them.

They are geographically challenged.

Statistics loom large in their lives.

Money looms large in their lives.

They still think of themselves as a young people, even though they all derive from old peoples.

Whatever they do, whether it's buying groceries or fighting a war, they want to do as quickly as possible.

They can be very unsentimental, yet fall for faith healers, politicians and other charlatans.

The ones who live in the cities are a totally different species from the ones who live in the rest of the country.

They believe that if you're going to come second, you may as well come 10, 397, 464th.

They make good films and produce good comedy.

Youth and health loom large in their lives.

Despite health looming large in their lives, they think nothing of living on top of major fault-lines, or in tornado areas.

They seem oblivious to the fact that having perfect teeth when you're 96 looks strange.

When they feel threatened they are proactive rather than reactive.

They go into a kind of trance when listening to Country and Western music. It isn't sleep exactly - difficult to say what it is.

New England seems to be more English than the rest of the country.

The Mid-West isn't really the mid-west.

Hi Robert,

What one has to grasp is that despite the American Constitution, the American Civil War, and a blue field of fifty white stars on our national flag, the U.S. is really not one country. It is an amalgram of possibly as many as 50 countries, but basically about 10 to 12:

New England (it should seem to be more English than the rest - the original settlers and the Boston Irish are from the British Isles).

Mid Atlantic States (includes my own, New York, but also New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Delaware).

Old Confederacy East of Mississippi (Virginia, the Carolinas, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Missisippi, Tennessee, Louisiana).

Midwest (you are right - it is not exactly Mid-west): Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas.

Former Republic of Texas (or should I call it the once and forever Republic of Texas).

Plains States: Nebraska, Kansas, the Dakotas.

Rocky Mountain States (Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon, Washington)

Deseret (Utah)

The Mexican Session (or Purchase, depending on how you interpret the final treaty of Chapultapec of 1848): Oklahoma (then part of Texas) , New Mexico, Arizona (we subsequently bought more of Mexico to fix the New Mexican and Arizona borders in 1853 - it is called the "Gadsden Purchase". No war this time, and it was the only positive achievement of the doomed Franklin Pierce Administration).

The Bear Flag Republic or La La Land: California with Nevada.

The former Kingdom/err Republic of Hawaii

William Seward's Folly (Alaska).

Somehow since 1865 we managed to keep everything together, and even expand (Hawaii did finally get itself annexed in 1898, just around the time of the Cuban-Spanish American War).

That war also increased our territory, so we now have several colonies, though we insist on calling them commonwealths.

1) Puerto Rico (possibly the future 51st state - we will see)
2) Guam (possibly the future 52nd state - less likely (it was easily invaded by Japan in 1941)).

We also made one purchase in 1917

3) The Danish West Indies, now the "Virgin Islands". We bought them to keep Denmark from selling them to Kaiser Wilhelm II for his submarine fleet.

There is also an offshoot from an international mess of 1889

4) American Samoa (our share of the island - there was crazy mess of competing economic groups from Britain, the U.S. and the German Empire trying to get their man chosen chieftain of the Kingdom of Samoa in 1889. Eventually battleships from all three countries went to Samoa for a diplomatic crisis to develop. Then a typhoon hit Pago Pago and sank all the German and American ships, but the British ship was smart enough to get out to sea first. The British returned and made common cause with the American survivors and trounced the Germans. Somehow we ended up with part of this island).

Fortunately over the years we got rid of some possessions:

1) Cuba - to reassure European governments we were not trying to steal Cuba, the "Platt Amendment" of 1902 guaranteed self government for the island. This was nice as throughout the 19th Century grabbing Cuba was a running American expansion idea. Actually though, careful reading of the "Platt Amendment" allowed us to enter Cuba if something...unfortunate (read un-American) happened to their government. When it would be corrected we would leave. This portion of the "Platt Amendment" was nullified by Dr. Castro in 1959-60. [However, we did keep Guantanamo Naval Base, due to an earlier agreement.]

2) The Philippine Islands - only the U.S., to start the military actions in a war supposedly to help Cuba achieve freedom from Spain, would bother to send it's Pacific Fleet under Commodore George Dewey to Manilla Bay in the Philippine Islands half a globe away. The rationale behind this was that Assistant Secretary of the Navy Theodore Roosevelt figured that if we didn't take it over either Germany or Japan would (my reaction would have been, "So what?", but that is why I'm close to 61 and T.R. (who died at 60) became President while I never did). Problem of our victory under Dewey was that it caused friction with the local Filipino Independence fighters led by Emilio Aguinaldo. Aguinaldo, when he realized those gringos had replaced the Spanish, started a revolt that lasted until his capture by General Frederick Funston in 1902. It is not a pretty story - more American soldiers died in the Philippine "Action" than in the Cuban-Spanish American War (which lasted four months!). Also, in the Philippine "Action" our troops displayed the same disregard for the "Geneva Convention" towards suspected rebels (read all native Filipinos) as to create a number of atrocities like My Lie in the later Vietnam War. There would be problems for years in this major colony (look at it's size - it's close to the size of Japan). Finally we agreed to give it it's independence in the 1940s. World War II did interfere (interestingly Aguinaldo assisted the Japanese - after the war he was not punished for that). In 1946 it became independent.

3) Canal Zone - TR again loved to boast about how he "took Panama". He bragged about helping a make-ship revolutions gain independence for the isthmus from Columbia, even to placing an American battleship at a strategic mountain crossing that made the movement of Columbian troops impossible (this was in 1903. In 1921, to get back at his old political enemy, though T.R. was dead two years, Wilson signed a treaty that paid $21 million dollars in damages to the Columbians for this outrage). TR did his outlandish act to get the great Panama Canal built, and it opened in 1914 just before the Great War broke out. For years the land around the canal on both sides was kept from the Panamanians as "the Canal Zone" under a series of American governors. This finally ended in 1979 when Jimmy Carter signed a treaty restoring the Canal to Panamanian control.

Fortunately we missed out on several other attempts at serious control or colonization:

1) Santo Domingo (the Dominican Republic): President Grant considered buying Santo Domingo in 1871 from it's then President Baez (who did not have any right to sell it!) to assist in the problems of Reconstruction (to give American Blacks an opportunity to have a country of their own). His Secretary of State, Hamilton Fish, and the head of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Senator Charles Sumner of Massachusetts got together to defeat this idiotic plan.

2) Nicaragua (1855) - In the 1850s several groups of pro-Slavery expansionists planned "filibustering" expeditions to take over Latin American lands. One succeeded briefly: William Walker of Alabama led an expedition that seized Nicaragua. He ruled it rather brutally for two years, before being forced out by Commodore Vanderbilt (Walker seized some of Vanderbilt's property in Nicaragua). Walker tried to take over Honduras in 1860, but was captured and executed by a firing squad.

3) Northern Greenland (?) - the same year Grant tried to buy a country from a man who did not have the right to sell it, another American was in Washington, D.C. trying to get support for a polar expedition. This was Captain Charles Francis Hall, who had made a reputation for two successful solo journeys into the Arctic sections of Northern Canada. He wanted a ship and crew with supplies to see if they could possibly reach the North Pole. This scheme was supported by Grant and Secretary of the Navy George Robeson. Supposedly (although I find this hard to believe) Hall actually convinced Congressman that we could plant colonies in Northern Greenland and closer to the Pole. I would have wondered why that was ever considered an option. Hall got the ship "U.S.S. Polaris" for his journey, but it proved fatal to him - there is still a debate if he died from arsenic tainted medications he used or if he was poisoned by an enemy on the ship. The others got back after some grueling adventures. Robeson got a claim for immortality when Hall named "the Robeson Channel" for him.

We also picked up some pin-prick islands in the Pacific in the 19th Century, most notably

Midway (1867) - now you know why the Japanese had to attack and seize it in 1942.

Wake Island (like Guam and the Philippines successfully captured by Japan in 1941-42)

Howland Island - this was what Amelia Earhart was aiming at in July 1937 when she and Fred Noonan vanished.

Jeff

[GUT]

Hi Beowulf,
Mmm, I've actually realised that me & my husband don't actually communicate in regular English as we always twist our words
Here are a few that I've used on him recently:

1. We need to eat more rice & pasta (meaning : if I have to peel another bloody potato I'll go crazy)

If you ever serve rice or pasta again I'll scream

2. It was in the sale ( meaning: no, I didn't need that new dress or perfume, but it was in the sale)

I really wanted it

3. Why don't you treat your workers to lunch today as it's the end of the month (meaning, I really can't be bothered to get up at 6am to make your sandwiches)

But make sure it's a cheap lunch then we can go out for diner

4. Have you let the cat out? (Meaning: why the hell did you let my darling cat out)

Cause I ain't gonna do it

5. I've bought you a new shirt (meaning: please throw that shitty old checked shirt away, I'm sick & tired of seeing you in it)

Like that's gonna happen, you want a shirt go and buy one

Enjoy...
Amanda

I've put in Red what those owuld probably mean in our house.

[GUT]

G'day GUT,

To this day when asked my opinion on what Nixon's most interesting non-"Watergate" achievement as President was, I say, "He was the first major national leader since the Emperor Diocletian who tried to solve inflation problems with wage and price controls." He did too, I believe in 1973. It only lasted four months. But it was an interesting experiment while it lasted. Yet, except for fellow history buffs, when I mention it to people who lived in the Nixon Era, they look like I'm talking about some eruption on the surface of Alpha Centuri.

Jeff

We had a referendum here on the issue of giving the Federal Govt Wage and Price control, probably a bit before '73 [but I'd have to check the date] the people said NO BLOODY WAY we don't trust you B's.

[GUT]

We had a referendum here on the issue of giving the Federal Govt Wage and Price control, probably a bit before '73 [but I'd have to check the date] the people said NO BLOODY WAY we don't trust you B's.

Just had a quick sticky it was '73 [so under Gough] lost in every state, in Aus to change the constitution you need a majority of voters in a majority of States and an majority of all voters. So it was a pretty resounding NO

[Pcdunn]

You're right, except for when you're not.

OK, having met very few Americans but having watched a fair amount of American TV, just for a bit of fun here is my totally stereotypical authoritative view of Americans.

They are individualists. Yes, and the good Lord help the fool who says, "Can't we all just get along?"

They are hospitable. Yes, except in the inner cities, and anywhere in New York City

They resent their central government and still can't quite understand how they ended up having one. That's only partially true. Many conservative types suspect anyone connected with anything to do with the "government", especially if it has to do with banning personal firearms. Teenagers, at least in sitcoms, are unaware we have a government, or if they know it, ignore it and all laws connected to it.

They never use a thousand words where one will do. Untrue.

They never use a word with four syllables where a word with one syllable will do.
Yup.

They own guns but don't know how to use them. I suspect this to be true, but when involved in an anti-gun debate with pro-gun persons, they will tell you at length they use guns safely, they like using guns, the banning of guns is the first step towards Fascism, and you are an idiot for not knowing it. I do not own a gun, nor do I know how to use one, and I prefer it that way.

They are geographically challenged. [B]Yes, at least on television reality shows. I have a fairly good grasp of world geography, but am often directionally challenged.[\B]

Statistics loom large in their lives. Naw, only on the news. Most Americans really don't care, one way or another.

Money looms large in their lives. Well, yeah, dude, 'cause, like, everything costs money! What d'you folks use, pieces of paper with the Queen's face on them or something? Seriously, some Americans profess not to care about making good salaries, but I doubt they mean it.

They still think of themselves as a young people, even though they all derive from old peoples. Not sure what you mean here, Pops? In the personal ancestor sense, it is true. In the sense of a nation, it is also true.

Whatever they do, whether it's buying groceries or fighting a war, they want to do as quickly as possible. Gawd, yes, this is true!

They can be very unsentimental, yet fall for faith healers, politicians and other charlatans. Americans? UNsentimental?! Nonsense! (Get back to me after you see "Big Hero 6") And as for falling (or not falling)for faith healers, etc., that's more to do with gullibility or skepticism, not sentimentality or unsentimentality.

The ones who live in the cities are a totally different species from the ones who live in the rest of the country. Hmmm... Depends on the city, really. I do think New Yorkers and Washingtonians have more in common than they do with the denizens of Walt Disney World do with the rest of us humans, but that might just be due to the high percentage of non-humans in Orlando, Florida.

They believe that if you're going to come second, you may as well come 10, 397, 464th. I kinda get the impression this is a Brit's dig at us Americans, and I don't like it... Aw, who cares, anyway?

They make good films and produce good comedy. Thank you. The Brits produce an unusual brand of comedy, and very decent science-fiction television programs.

Youth and health loom large in their lives. Yes... Well, we know it SHOULD, but there are all these burger joints all over the place..

Despite health looming large in their lives, they think nothing of living on top of major fault-lines, or in tornado areas. People are always rebuilding right in the same spot after losing a house to a natural disaster. I think it's a human trait to be both stubborn and stupid.

They seem oblivious to the fact that having perfect teeth when you're 96 looks strange. I don't know a 96 year old with perfect teeth. I suspect Brits are just jealous of our dental care plans.

When they feel threatened they are proactive rather than reactive. You mean like responding to your generalizations with a funny forum post, instead of cussing you out for your utter temerity? In that case, yes.

They go into a kind of trance when listening to Country and Western music. It isn't sleep exactly - difficult to say what it is. That's only for the FANS of Country and Western music. Fans of other American music genres react differently, I'm afraid.

New England seems to be more English than the rest of the country. Aye-yup. And people from Maine are more Canadian than the rest of New England.

The Mid-West isn't really the mid-west. Maybe not, but it's better than being the mid-east.

You forgot to mention sports fans are utterly, completely INSANE.

[Pcdunn]

Jeff forgot to mention Colorado, which is now one of the "Rocky Mountain High" States.

[GUT]

You forgot to mention sports fans are utterly, completely INSANE.

But that applies throughout the world, you should see an English Football [Soccer] Tour or the famous Barmy Army [English Cricket supporters, especially when the Green and Gold are thrashing them] The poor old Kiwi's treat Rugby Union as a religion, one mid East country was said to have executed a team for not playing well enough [not sure if that was true].

[Robert]

Thanks for that very interesting post, Jeff.

I must say, it seems very odd to have two areas (Hawaii and Alaska) physically disconnected from the rest of a country, but there are no significant separatist movements as far as I am aware, so full marks to the Americans for making it work.

[Robert]

Pat, the Americans have three games that are a bit strange :

There's one where a guy can hit the ball out of the stadium, but still has to give a leisurely trot round.

There's another where play stops every 30 seconds, so that the players can have a chat and the crowd can buy some burgers.

And there's one where 3 or 4 guys bounce a ball 2 or 3 times and then an 8ft tall guy drops (rather than throws) the ball into a basket. This is repeated 100 times or more, and then the crowd go home satisfied.

[Magpie]

Lets call it what it is--Branston pickle is fermented toe-jam suspended in earwax.