20 memorable epitaphs.

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  • String
    Detective
    • Jul 2008
    • 302

    #1

    20 memorable epitaphs.

    George Johnson: "Here lies George Johnson, hanged by mistake 1882. He was right, we was wrong, but we strung him up and now he's gone."

    People will remember a life well-lived, but a well-written epitaph will render that person unforgettable. Here are 20 of the wittiest and most memorable epitaphs ever written.
  • Herlock Sholmes
    Commissioner
    • May 2017
    • 21841

    #2
    Some absolute classics there Sting.
    Regards

    Sir Herlock Sholmes.

    “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

    Comment

    • Svensson
      Sergeant
      • Jun 2012
      • 590

      #3
      Nice. Reminds me that I need to start thinking of something incredibly witty for my own tombstone....

      Comment

      • Ms Diddles
        Chief Inspector
        • Aug 2019
        • 1695

        #4
        Originally posted by Herlock Sholmes View Post
        Some absolute classics there Sting.
        Isn't he too busy practicing tantric sex or saving the rainforest or making records with (serial leg-humper) Shaggy to be contributing on our pub talk threads, Herlock??

        Comment

        • Al Bundy's Eyes
          Chief Inspector
          • Sep 2019
          • 1776

          #5
          Click image for larger version

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          Thems the Vagaries.....

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          • String
            Detective
            • Jul 2008
            • 302

            #6
            Originally posted by Svensson View Post
            Nice. Reminds me that I need to start thinking of something incredibly witty for my own tombstone....
            Told the Mrs to get me cremated and dump me in the ocean. With any luck I’ll get a free trip around the world along with all the plastic waste.

            Comment

            • Herlock Sholmes
              Commissioner
              • May 2017
              • 21841

              #7
              Originally posted by Ms Diddles View Post

              Isn't he too busy practicing tantric sex or saving the rainforest or making records with (serial leg-humper) Shaggy to be contributing on our pub talk threads, Herlock??
              I was thinking “ah, Ms D has mistaken String for Sting.” But it was me that made the error.

              Ms D that’s twice I’ve been wrong in the last 5 years! It’s worrying.
              Regards

              Sir Herlock Sholmes.

              “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

              Comment

              • Ms Diddles
                Chief Inspector
                • Aug 2019
                • 1695

                #8
                Originally posted by Herlock Sholmes View Post

                I was thinking “ah, Ms D has mistaken String for Sting.” But it was me that made the error.

                Ms D that’s twice I’ve been wrong in the last 5 years! It’s worrying.
                Ha! That's like when I come out of work and see a really badly parked car in the car park and think "what idiot has done that", then realise that it's my car, and I left it like that in the morning!

                Comment

                • Herlock Sholmes
                  Commissioner
                  • May 2017
                  • 21841

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Ms Diddles View Post

                  Ha! That's like when I come out of work and see a really badly parked car in the car park and think "what idiot has done that", then realise that it's my car, and I left it like that in the morning!
                  I’m always mislaying stuff in the house then finding the offending object in some area where I’d never think of looking because of course I’d never put anything there! But it’s always an object that no one else has the slightest interest in touching or using. “Who put this here?” It never takes much working out who it could only have been.
                  Regards

                  Sir Herlock Sholmes.

                  “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

                  Comment

                  • Ms Diddles
                    Chief Inspector
                    • Aug 2019
                    • 1695

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Herlock Sholmes View Post

                    I’m always mislaying stuff in the house then finding the offending object in some area where I’d never think of looking because of course I’d never put anything there! But it’s always an object that no one else has the slightest interest in touching or using. “Who put this here?” It never takes much working out who it could only have been.
                    Well, I'm glad it's not just me!

                    Comment

                    • Ms Diddles
                      Chief Inspector
                      • Aug 2019
                      • 1695

                      #11
                      Originally posted by String View Post

                      Told the Mrs to get me cremated and dump me in the ocean. With any luck I’ll get a free trip around the world along with all the plastic waste.
                      I've always fancied giving Gunther Von Hagens the go-ahead on condition that I'm displayed staring directly at any visitors to the exhibition with my middle fingers raised in a final act of defiance!

                      It'd make a magnificent centrepiece!

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