Man Goes to Emergency Room with WWII Artillery Shell Lodged in Rectum

[c.d.]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/bomb-squad-called-to-er-after-a-patient-turned-up-with-a-wwii-artillery-shell-lodged-in-his-rectum-police-say/ar-AARskXe?li=BBnb7Kz

c.d.

[c.d.]

So not one comment? Not one joke, pun or witty remark? I am shocked. Maybe I need to stop posting in Pub Talk.

c.d.

[JeffHamm]

We'll, I suspect it is just a case of shell shock.

-
Jeff

[mpriestnall]

"The Sun" went with the headline "BUM SQUAD Bomb squad race to A&E after patient arrives with WW2 artillery shell stuck up his bottom".

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/16923295/bomb-squad-hospital-bottom-shell/

[Enigma]

"He slipped and fell on the bomb."

Yeah, sure he did. Whatever he was doing at the time, no doubt it gave him a real blast.

[c.d.]

I'm guessing the gerbil store was closed.

c.d.

[Al Bundy's Eyes]

"Private, that's not what I meant when I said we were doing a rear guard action."

[Ms Diddles]

I fear he may have been activating his Little Boy.

[Pcdunn]

"He slipped and fell on the bomb."

Yeah, sure he did. Whatever he was doing at the time, no doubt it gave him a real blast.

Ah, just as I suspected! It's always an accident when gentlemen present themselves for medical aid with foreign objects up their rears!

[c.d.]

I wonder if health insurance companies have a payment code for something like this.

c.d.

[Mark J D]

Gives a whole new meaning to "putting a cap in yo' ass"...

M.

[Yabs]

TopTip—
Convince doctors you have a legitimate reason for having an artillery shell lodged in your rectum, by claiming to be a method actor researching the role of a man who likes to put artillery shells in his rectum.

TopTip2—
Convince doctors you have a legitimate reason for having an artillery shell lodged in your rectum, by claiming you want to be portrayed in a movie by an actor who specialises in roles about men who like to put artillery shells in their rectums

I’ve got my excuses ready.

[mpriestnall]

"Be Prepared" as Baden-Powell would say.

[caz]

One for Brits of a certain age...

Q: What did the Yorkshireman say when he got a spark plug stuck up his arse?

A: "Eeeeh, that's champion!"

I'll get me coat.

Happy New Year everyone, and stay safe.

Love,

Caz
X

[Svensson]

Ok, I get it. Champion. Spark plug. But why a Yorkshire man?

Happy new year to everyone. May 2022 be (slightly) less chaotic for everyone and may a second Swanson Marginalia be discovered to finally clear things up.