Jilted Ex-Boyfriend Puts Up Abortion Billboard

[babybird67]

This important "innocent until proven guilty" is not the way the law system works in all "western countries" but when it comes to a court of law I believe it is the way it should be. On more than one occasion on here you have said he should be "charged" and "jailled".....are you not forgetting something?

I really wonder about your powers of comprehension sometimes, Dave. This guy cannot deny having done this...he's in the photo. He has spread LIES about someone else in a public manner. That's slander. He's put her life in danger from extremist anti-abortionist who shoot people involved in abortion because they disapprove of it morally. He is guilty as hell, the proof is out there, HE published it!

I'm not going to be involved in the judicial process in this case so I don't need evidence or proof of guilt....I can just go with my gut feeling.....if I was part of the jury I 'd go by evidence.

The legal code is underpinned by a moral code of what is right and fair, and what is wrong. That is how decisions are made. They arent made on gut feeling, and events have transpired to show how intuitive your gut feeling was in this case, which is probably why the law/morals shouldn't be decided by subjective gut feelings! What he did was wrong end of story. I don't comprehend why you fail to see this. And seriously you only evaluate evidence if you're on a jury? Seriously? When deciding other things, it goes completely out of the window???

No I agree woman should have the right to choose......I hate abortion and wish it did not happen....but I don't believe in forcing anyone to have a child who is incapable of having it. But I also believe any potential father should be involved in that decision......but ultimately it is the person who carries the child that should have the final decision.

Why are you going on about abortion. SHE HAD A MISCARRIAGE.

I totally agree.....but this is not a man v woman thing.....if this story was about a woman putting a billboard up with a picture of a happy family with the father blanked out and a title "This could have been my happy family if my husband had not had sex with our babysitter" I would admire this also as an original form of revenge.

Even if it wasn't true? And it ruined the other people's lives?

Perhaps.....but as I said above I'm not on any Jury.....so I can just go with my gut feeling. I have no doubt that this man genuinely believes that the woman aborted his child

He doesn't. He's admitted now he doesnt know what happened. Still want to defend him?

I also know many couples with a similar age gap....some the men are older some the woman are older.....I do not make a moral judgement on a couple based on the age gap.....if it is a good, compatible, loving relationship I have absolutely no issue about age, race, sex or anything else.

I have an issue with predatory older men seeking out teenage girls. Again, that might just be me. But there we go.

The idea that I am as "bad as him" because I admire his original and non-violent for of revenge is hyperbole nonsense. Just as much as you are asking why I believe the man you do not know this woman is telling the truth......because none of us know all the facts in this case I am entitled to my opinion....just as much as you are. So it's nothing about "simple distinctions".

Once again revenge for what? She had a miscarriage. She dumped him. Which of these things do you agree with her being vilified for?

I don't buy that revenge is childish and immoral sorry.....some are sure...but I do not think Osama Bin Laden's execution was "childish" or "immoral" he got his totties and he deserved it.

Again, I don't agree. Revenge is one of the least attractive human attributes, as is admiring it.

Nah see you can't do that......If I don't buy the fact it was a miscarriage and if it comes out definitively that it was I will change my position on who is a victim. But I'd still have a cheeky wee appreciation of the "Billboard revenge idea".

Kindly read Errata's post and admit you were wrong.

"a man who's ex had an abortion without consulting him gets his revenge by billboard."

That's not the story though, Dave is it. It's "woman who suffered a miscarriage is now being lied about by her ex on a billboard and some people think this is fine".

Well whatever.....like I said I was not focusing on the individuals or the specifics of the case.....just that I thought the "revenge" was quite original. If it turns out and this was a miscarriage my sympathies would be with the woman and I would accept the man was out of order.....but I could still appreciate the originality of revenge by billboard.

Right. So perhaps what the man thought wasn't so relevant after all. Perhaps you'd like to think in future before condoning unsubstantiated accusations being made about innocent people in public domains? Huh?

[DirectorDave]

I really wonder about your powers of comprehension sometimes, Dave. This guy cannot deny having done this...he's in the photo. He has spread LIES about someone else in a public manner. That's slander. He's put her life in danger from extremist anti-abortionist who shoot people involved in abortion because they disapprove of it morally. He is guilty as hell, the proof is out there, HE published it!

No one here is denying he done the billboard......but usually a trial come in between someone being charged and being Jailed.

Slander (at least here in the UK) is a civil offence not a criminal one I believe not sure about mexico but I can't be arsed checking.

If it is the billboard you are referring to as lies, that is libel not slander.

The legal code is underpinned by a moral code of what is right and fair, and what is wrong. That is how decisions are made. They aren't made on gut feeling, and events have transpired to show how intuitive your gut feeling was in this case, which is probably why the law/morals shouldn't be decided by subjective gut feelings! What he did was wrong end of story. I don't comprehend why you fail to see this. And seriously you only evaluate evidence if you're on a jury? Seriously? When deciding other things, it goes completely out of the window???

Law should not be based on gut feelings of course not, but this is not a courtroom.....we are just a couple of idiots conversing on a messageboard.....gut feelings are fine for that.

Even if it wasn't true? And it ruined the other people's lives?

But it's my scenario and he did shag the babysitter.

In your scenario, I also don't care enough about these imaginary individuals.....but yes the "revenge" is quite original.

He doesn't. He's admitted now he doesn't know what happened. Still want to defend him?

I don't want to defend him at all.....all I want to say is revenge buy billboard is original and I find it quite funny.
(yes I do have a bit of a dark sense of humour....but that is just me)

I have an issue with predatory older men seeking out teenage girls. Again, that might just be me. But there we go.

What about predatory older women? Or is it different for girls.

But thanks for the ammo...

I'm going to wind my girlfriend right up tomorrow saying she is a predator because she chatted me up and is older than me. (Don't worry she gives as good, if not better than she gets.)

Once again revenge for what? She had a miscarriage. She dumped him. Which of these things do you agree with her being vilified for?

I don't I have removed myself from the individuals involved....I just think Revenge by bill...ach I've said it before....you get the idea.

Again, I don't agree. Revenge is one of the least attractive human attributes, as is admiring it.

Fine I don't agree....but I respect your opinion.

Kindly read Errata's post and admit you were wrong.

Ok, will take a look at it later.

That's not the story though, Dave is it. It's "woman who suffered a miscarriage is now being lied about by her ex on a billboard and some people think this is fine".

But it was how I interpreted the story when I made my original post.

Right. So perhaps what the man thought wasn't so relevant after all. Perhaps you'd like to think in future before condoning unsubstantiated accusations being made about innocent people in public domains? Huh?

I will think as I always do.....but if I want to make a comment I shall.

Even though you might not want to admit it I've probably given you a few things to think about....you have given me a few....cheers....always up for learning and updating the database.

I think we are just going round in circles now so the last thing I want to say is I think Revenge by Billboard is cool.

[Errata]

To be brutally fair, while I seriously have problems with older men dating teenage girls, and have been victimized by such a man, as women we are raised that men will take every advantage that they can. We grow up on stories of men taking advantage, and how it's up to us to never give an inch more than we have to, so that when we get taken advantage of by a much older man, in a way we have been prepared for it. And we have other women to surround us and tell us what a bastard he is, etc.

When a woman preys on a teenage boy, he is subjected to all of the manipulation and nastiness that a teenage girl is subjected to, but he has had no warning, and his friends all think that he got lucky, and then lucky that he didn't have to marry her or whatever, and none of them understand that she took something from him, and that he needs to get it back. They don't understand that it's not a "score" that it is an abuse.

I have met good stable loving couples who have big age gaps. They are in the minority, and none of them began the relationship before the younger one was at least in their mid to late 20s. If you think you love someone, you don't have a problem letting them grow up enough to know their own mind. Or at least wait long enough for the prefrontal cortex to finish developing. One of my dad's friends is 69, and his wife is 41. They met when she was 17. And even back then when standards were different, he decided that if it was meant to be, it will still be when she was 25, and that he would go on with his life and if he still felt the same way then, he would find her. And that's what he did. I admire that.

[DirectorDave]

To be brutally fair, while I seriously have problems with older men dating teenage girls, and have been victimized by such a man, as women we are raised that men will take every advantage that they can. We grow up on stories of men taking advantage, and how it's up to us to never give an inch more than we have to, so that when we get taken advantage of by a much older man, in a way we have been prepared for it. And we have other women to surround us and tell us what a bastard he is, etc.

When a woman preys on a teenage boy, he is subjected to all of the manipulation and nastiness that a teenage girl is subjected to, but he has had no warning, and his friends all think that he got lucky, and then lucky that he didn't have to marry her or whatever, and none of them understand that she took something from him, and that he needs to get it back. They don't understand that it's not a "score" that it is an abuse.

I have met good stable loving couples who have big age gaps. They are in the minority, and none of them began the relationship before the younger one was at least in their mid to late 20s. If you think you love someone, you don't have a problem letting them grow up enough to know their own mind. Or at least wait long enough for the prefrontal cortex to finish developing. One of my dad's friends is 69, and his wife is 41. They met when she was 17. And even back then when standards were different, he decided that if it was meant to be, it will still be when she was 25, and that he would go on with his life and if he still felt the same way then, he would find her. And that's what he did. I admire that.

Interesting take on things Errata....

(I am generalising here)

I must say in the UK I do not think an older man who is in a relationship with a younger girl is seen as "predatory".....it's kinda looked on as "normal". I think it is generally accepted that females mature quicker than males.

I would say an 18 year old girl is likely to be as mature as say a 25 year old male.

I am a bit surprised by this banding about of the word "predatory"?....is it an American thing?

Not saying either view is the right one....just think it is a bit different from the attitude I experience in the UK?

Not sure I would like any daughter of mine growing up with that view of men...."take every advantage", "never give an inch?" Just not something I recognise as indicative of men?

Might want someone else in the UK to comment on this....just incase it's me (and all the people I know) being weird.

[Errata]

Interesting take on things Errata....

(I am generalising here)

I must say in the UK I do not think an older man who is in a relationship with a younger girl is seen as "predatory".....it's kinda looked on as "normal". I think it is generally accepted that females mature quicker than males.

I would say an 18 year old girl is likely to be as mature as say a 25 year old male.

I am a bit surprised by this banding about of the word "predatory"?....is it an American thing?

Not saying either view is the right one....just think it is a bit different from the attitude I experience in the UK?

Not sure I would like any daughter of mine growing up with that view of men...."take every advantage", "never give an inch?" Just not something I recognise as indicative of men?

Might want someone else in the UK to comment on this....just incase it's me (and all the people I know) being weird.

I don't think most people would think too much on a 25 year old man and an 18 year old college student. I think if she were still in High School in would not be okay.

I think a 36 year old man and an 18 year old girl should raise some serious questions. Like why doesn't he want to date someone with whom he has a generational reference? Like a 30 year old woman? There is not an insignificant number of men who like to control women, it's how their parent's relationship is, and significantly younger women are easier to control. Sometimes, it's simple modeling of behavior with no ill intent. Sometimes it becomes malicious and abusive. And sometimes it's just a tragedy all the way around.

The view of men that I am talking is reinforced in movies and television all the time. "Men are only interested in one thing" "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile". Everything from 50's surfer flicks to movies like American Pie have this message. And of course it isn't true, and we know that, but when we are taken advantage of it feels like we were prepared for the notion that men are pigs. I don't think young men are at all prepared to be taken advantage of by a woman. They are prepared for greedy, grasping women by the stereotypes, but not women who use sex and love to manipulate and hurt. Men are not used to the idea that they can be abused.

Not all extreme age differences result in abuse. But many do, enough do that it is worth waiting for both parties to be mature, well adjusted adults who are secure in their sense of self. It is too easy even for the most well intentioned older partner to swallow the younger whole.

[DirectorDave]

I don't think most people would think too much on a 25 year old man and an 18 year old college student. I think if she were still in High School in would not be okay.

I think a 36 year old man and an 18 year old girl should raise some serious questions. Like why doesn't he want to date someone with whom he has a generational reference? Like a 30 year old woman? There is not an insignificant number of men who like to control women, it's how their parent's relationship is, and significantly younger women are easier to control. Sometimes, it's simple modeling of behavior with no ill intent. Sometimes it becomes malicious and abusive. And sometimes it's just a tragedy all the way around.

The view of men that I am talking is reinforced in movies and television all the time. "Men are only interested in one thing" "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile". Everything from 50's surfer flicks to movies like American Pie have this message. And of course it isn't true, and we know that, but when we are taken advantage of it feels like we were prepared for the notion that men are pigs. I don't think young men are at all prepared to be taken advantage of by a woman. They are prepared for greedy, grasping women by the stereotypes, but not women who use sex and love to manipulate and hurt. Men are not used to the idea that they can be abused.

Not all extreme age differences result in abuse. But many do, enough do that it is worth waiting for both parties to be mature, well adjusted adults who are secure in their sense of self. It is too easy even for the most well intentioned older partner to swallow the younger whole.

As an 18 year old.....I think I was interested in girls, football and partying.....not necessarily in that order. I think perhaps looking back on the posts on this thread the gender gap in the US is perhaps wider than in the UK.

I am a bit disturbed that that is how men are portrayed.....if that is what young girls are told of men a young male might believe that is how he is expected to behave, and thus it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

Now please take this in the spirit it is intended.....

I honestly think that this old island is perhaps a bit further down the line than the US socially.....certainly looking back through this thread it seems an 18 yo in the US is a potential victim that has to be protected from "predators" while a 18 yo in the UK is probably someone men should fear. I would say a 18 yo is just as likely to go after an older man than the other way about.....mainly because of the maturity difference between an 18 yo male and an 18 yo female.

Perhaps the fact that the age of consent here is 16 and the legal age to get into pubs is 18 might have a part to play. I think many kids are sexually active at 14 and drinking in pubs or clubs at 16/17.

Certainly in Scotland I would say the father is the ceremonial head of the household but the real power (decision making & financial) lies with the mother.....there are exceptions of course but in my opinion I was brought up in a matriarchal society.

I'm generalising a lot above of course......and I'm sure there are people in the UK that would interpret things differently.

[Errata]

Now please take this in the spirit it is intended.....

I honestly think that this old island is perhaps a bit further down the line than the US socially.....certainly looking back through this thread it seems an 18 yo in the US is a potential victim that has to be protected from "predators" while a 18 yo in the UK is probably someone men should fear. I would say a 18 yo is just as likely to go after an older man than the other way about.....mainly because of the maturity difference between an 18 yo male and an 18 yo female.

Perhaps the fact that the age of consent here is 16 and the legal age to get into pubs is 18 might have a part to play. I think many kids are sexually active at 14 and drinking in pubs or clubs at 16/17.

Well, as the old saying goes, 100 years is a long time in America, and 100 miles is a long way to go in Britain.

We are young. We have always been a country that recognizes adolescence, where clearly you guys have not. And adolescence being a social construct more than it is a biological stage, there are a lot of gray areas.

I would be remiss if you came away from this thinking that we only view the young as being subject to predators. And a predator is merely someone who will say and do whatever is required to get what they want from you. A younger woman who woos and wins an older man she actually finds repulsive just so she can plunder his bank account is as much a predator as an older man who woos and wins a young girl he finds annoying just so he take her virginity.

I think 14 is way too young to be sexually active. I have always had a few rules as to when you are ready to have sex, and no 14 year old has ever passed the little quiz. Some 20 years olds don't either, but that doesn't argue that they are ready either. Certainly if you are too young to legally get a job (which here is 15) to support a baby you might accidentally make, you shouldn't be having sex.

I don't particularly want to treat adolescents as though they are idiots, although they are. But if the part of the brain that comprehends consequences isn't fully formed until your early 20s, maybe it's not so out of line to treat them as though they don't have the best decision making skills. You can't keep someone from doing something they really want to do. All you can do is warn them and pick up the pieces afterwards. Which we do. But I don't think 18 year olds know themselves well enough to protect themselves. We don't do it for them, we can't. But we aren't shy about voicing our opinion either.