Cricket, lovely cricket

[Steven Russell]

Hello, Adam.
As you know, I'm not all that bothered about winning ODIs and T20s - compared to test matches - although I do enjoy watching them. Sri Lanka should prove more difficult over the shorter game. As for Jayasuria, I hope he does well too, but not well enough to win the game obviously.

By the way, just watched Fire in Babylon on bluray. If you haven't seen it yet, I'd urge you to do so; fascinating stuff. And terrifying in places - especially the stuff from the pre-helmet days! I've been re-reading a lot of Bodyline lately and watching Holding et al got me wondering about how Bodyline compared with the Windies' attack in their heyday, in terms of danger and intimidation especially. I suppose, given the quality and extent of the film and photo records from the 30s, we'll never know.

Best wishes,
Steve.

PS England's progress is real. Do not doubt it.
Note: This post is a reply to the succeeding one. No idea why it ended up higher on the page.

[Adam Went]

Steven:

Have caught bits and pieces of the Eng VS SL series but not enough to gain an opinion on. I did hear a replay of a rather humorous conversation between Jonathan Agnew and Michael Vaughan regarding bat rubbers though. That was gold.

As for England, I remain confident that this is simply a flash in the pan at the moment and it'll not be long before they return to wallow in their own shitness, preferably in the 2013 Ashes.....and also hoping for a Sanath Jayasuriya ton in the first ODI.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Steven Russell]

Steven:

Have caught bits and pieces of the Eng VS SL series but not enough to gain an opinion on. I did hear a replay of a rather humorous conversation between Jonathan Agnew and Michael Vaughan regarding bat rubbers though. That was gold.

As for England, I remain confident that this is simply a flash in the pan at the moment and it'll not be long before they return to wallow in their own shitness, preferably in the 2013 Ashes.....and also hoping for a Sanath Jayasuriya ton in the first ODI.

Cheers,
Adam.

Oh dear, Adam. After having beaten Sri Lanka and now being 2-0 up against India, England are within a sniff of being officially the best test team in the world. The other contenders are India and South Africa. Not Australia you will notice. If you must talk of shitness, you might wish to consider your own team as worthy of that label. And don't you dare start banging on about Lilian Thomson - I'm talking about now! How do you like them apples, koala-shagger?

Best wishes,
Steve.

PS You still owe us God Save the Queen, you marsupial lover.

[Adam Went]

Steven:

Despite your best efforts at comedy, the facts speak for themselves. Certain events involving English cricket have both amused and bemused me of late. For instance, the carry on over Stuart Broad's hat trick - a fine achievement, to be sure, but considering that the hat trick consisted of MS Dhoni, Harbhajan Singh and Praveen Kumar, hardly anything to write home about, surely? I'd be more impressed if he got rid of Laxman, Dravid and Tendulkar in successive deliveries - shouldn't be an overly difficult feat given that all 3 of them are on the wrong side of 35 now, but it hasn't happened and won't happen, because you and I both know, Steven, that deep down, Stuart Broad, like the rest of his team, is a useless hack. And, oh, what was that, Grandpa Dravid has scored two tons in two matches against you? Wow....

Was also amused by the recent release of the public's choice for the best all time International XI. Four Australian players. How many Poms, Steven? And then the icing on the cake was Boycott coming out and having a whinge about it...LOL.

Time for you to go off and have your annual bath and wash that sand out of your eyes, methinks.

Cheers,
Adam.

P.S. Haven't forgotten GSTQ.....new computer very soon, won't be far away at all. Fine tuning the voice already.

[Monty]

Australia are now well within the second tier of test cricket, the most superior form of the game. We proved that with our numerous innings wins over them last winter. Superior v inferior, men against boys.

Its a shame, they deserve our pity more than ridicule Steven. I mean, Adams post about hat tricks shows the crickting intellect of the Australian cricket fan.

Send our regards to New Zealand Adam, we have bigger and better issues to address than the sorry state of Aussie test cricket, if you can call it that.

Monty

[Steven Russell]

Yes indeed, Monty. A rather poor riposte from Adam, I agree, but perhaps admirable in a way. Sticking to his guns in the face of the facts, I mean. Still, it was a bit spooky that he knew about my strict bathing regime - like Queen Victoria: once a year whether I need it or not.

Any test match hat-trick is worthy of celebration, even one against inferior opposition like, say, Australia.

I did feel a bit sorry for Harbhajan Singh (massive edge but given out lbw) but at the same time, I'm very glad it happened. India needs to get into line with the rest of the world with regard to DRS and that decision might help convince them that their current stance is ridiculous.

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Its a shame, they deserve our pity more than ridicule Steven. I mean, Adams post about hat tricks shows the crickting intellect of the Australian cricket fan.

LMAO!!!

Monty, my dear friend, what you fail to remember is that we haven't played a single test match for well over a year now - much more than that actually, I think. So the state of our Test team last time we played as opposed to now has of course changed significantly.

Though I will confess myself to be more than a little baffled at Simon Katich being dropped from our test squad.

Steven:

Becoming used to constant and humiliating failures by sports teams must be a genetic throwback from my Pommy ancestors then, eh?

I'll gladly look forward to decking myself out in the green and gold and meeting you two gents right in the middle of the Barmy Army squad at one of the Tests in 2013.....we'll see who has the last laugh then.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Jesus Adam,

Small things seem to amuse you a lot mate. Bet you spend hours looking at your crotch and laughing.

You're not as baffled as Kaitich is, who for some bizarre reason feels he is test standard. We found him out years ago. Infact your top order are our bitches now, the team is wanting. Michael Clarke, Captain.....ha ha ha haaaa, says it all. He shouldn't even be in the team.....that's your Captain, oh **** that must be depressing.

I warned you about this years ago yet either ignrnace (oop, a missed letter....I'll wait whilst the hysterics subside), or false bravado turned your head from the facts. And the facts are England are a far better test team than Australia, far better in all departments.

Good luck for 2013, you'll need 2 years to get a competitive team. Hope you do, for your sake....you must be sick of my gloating by now. Even I'm getting bored.

No, actually I'm not.

Monty

[Steven Russell]

"Becoming used to constant and humiliating failures..."

Aw, look mate, you said it.

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Small things seem to amuse you a lot mate. Bet you spend hours looking at your crotch and laughing.

Well at least I can see my crotch, instead of your unfortunate circumstance of looking down and seeing only more fat.

You're not as baffled as Kaitich is, who for some bizarre reason feels he is test standard. We found him out years ago. Infact your top order are our bitches now, the team is wanting. Michael Clarke, Captain.....ha ha ha haaaa, says it all. He shouldn't even be in the team.....that's your Captain, oh **** that must be depressing.

Katich wasn't test standard in 2005. He is now and has been for a while. As for our captain, do I really have to drag out the Captain Cook jokes, Monty? Seriously? Please don't make me do it....

We won't need a top class batting order in 2013 when Shane Watson makes several double tons. And your bunch of useless bowlers that wouldn't make the 2nds of my local park team will bowl Ricky back into form.

Good luck for 2013, you'll need 2 years to get a competitive team. Hope you do, for your sake....you must be sick of my gloating by now. Even I'm getting bored.

Nope. As i've said before, whenever I get a little down about our team, I just pop the "Amazing Adelaide" DVD from the 06/07 series in and suddenly the world is great again!

Steven:

That's all you've got? You disappoint me....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

The only reason you can see your crotch is due to the magnifying glasses and tweezers you invested in Adam.

Kaitich is test standard NOW?! Holy fu....you serious. You said that last winter and we destroyed his international career. If you think he is test standard then its no wonder your team is average. Is that what you are aspiring to now? Mediocrity?

Useless bowlers? Oh I expected more than outright lies Adam. Poor, very poor. Go look at the stats, go look at what the best bowling attack in the world has done since, when?, shall we say the beggining of the Ashes tour where to systematically picked your bats off one by one. That should give you an idea that you're digressing shite again.


Ah, no, I got it now. This is acceptance, you have seen the light and accepted your boys have not got what it takes anymore. The only solace you now have is looking at past glories and re living them.

I see. I shall leave you be, leave you to sit in a darkened room shouting "Go Gilly, Go Pidge, Go Warney (is he still alive by the way?)" Whilst hitting the re wind button.

And I shall live in the present, and not remind you of the current state of affairs. I feel for you Australians just now. Must be awful, I mean, all you have is some geezer called Watson, who gets out more in his 50s than double tons (that Cookes job, by the way...you still having nightmares about him? Your bowlers do).

Still, could be worse, could be.....nah, I'm lying, you're in deep **** just now.

Now, we are off to play with the big boys. India call, No1 status beckons, enjoy your DVDs, Ill be watching the real deal.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

The only reason you can see your crotch is due to the magnifying glasses and tweezers you invested in Adam.

That's not what your missus was saying last night.

Kaitich is test standard NOW?! Holy fu....you serious. You said that last winter and we destroyed his international career. If you think he is test standard then its no wonder your team is average. Is that what you are aspiring to now? Mediocrity?

Destroyed his career? Evidently you begin to suffer from alzheimers in your old age. As I recall, he injured his achilles during the series which forced him out, had been scoring respectably up till then.

Useless bowlers? Oh I expected more than outright lies Adam. Poor, very poor. Go look at the stats, go look at what the best bowling attack in the world has done since, when?, shall we say the beggining of the Ashes tour where to systematically picked your bats off one by one. That should give you an idea that you're digressing shite again.

I'd be happy to give each of your bowlers an over at me in the nets, bet you a pint that none of them would get me out. That's with me not even having picked a bat up for the better part of a year....

I would threaten you once again with the test return of Warney or maybe even Brett Lee, but wouldn't want to frighten you.

I see. I shall leave you be, leave you to sit in a darkened room shouting "Go Gilly, Go Pidge, Go Warney (is he still alive by the way?)" Whilst hitting the re wind button.

Which one? Gilly is still playing Twenty20, Pidge is running his foundation and Warney is bonking your supermodels and commentating on your teams inferiority.

By the way, I see Geraint Jones scored 4 recently for Kent. Hefty numbers. When's he getting a recall?

And I shall live in the present, and not remind you of the current state of affairs. I feel for you Australians just now. Must be awful, I mean, all you have is some geezer called Watson, who gets out more in his 50s than double tons (that Cookes job, by the way...you still having nightmares about him? Your bowlers do).

A "geezer" who just happens to be the reigning Allan Border medallist. Bet you wish you could even make 50, eh?

And yes, I do have nightmares about Cook - it's his ghastly technique. I mean, seriously, what is that? I'd rather watch Shiv Chanderpaul bat - and that's saying something!

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Adam,

Not what my Mussus was saying last night? You spent the night with your Mom? Oh that's so wrong mate.

Kaitich was scoring respectfully? Yeah, respectfully. Sure, like I say, you've accepted mediocrity.

You just bet me our bowlers wouldn't get you out? Oh lordy someone get the straightjacket, Adam needs sedating. He is talking more bollocks than usual.

You think bringing Warney back is a threat. Dude, he did nothing against us the last two series he played in. Not compared to what he use to do. That's why he retired, he saw the writing on the wall. And Liz Hurley? A supermodel? Ha, compared to the talent down under she may well be but not here my gormless friend. Here she is average.

Let's not talk about Jones, let's talk about the worlds best wicketkeeper batsman and Englands keeper, Matt Prior. What has he done latey? Hmmmm?

I wish I could get 50? Sure, so does your top order mate.

Want me to reel off Cookes scores against you mate? Do you? Shall we go there?

Go back to your dark room, play the DVD, grab that box of tissues and fervently moan "oh Glenn, perfect length Glenn"

Its the only pleasure you have nowadays.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Not what my Mussus was saying last night? You spent the night with your Mom? Oh that's so wrong mate.

Yup, hence why I know you're lousy.

You just bet me our bowlers wouldn't get you out? Oh lordy someone get the straightjacket, Adam needs sedating. He is talking more bollocks than usual.

But of course you won't take up the challenge. I'm ready to strap the pads on - or should we make it two pints and no protective gear?

You think bringing Warney back is a threat. Dude, he did nothing against us the last two series he played in. Not compared to what he use to do. That's why he retired, he saw the writing on the wall. And Liz Hurley? A supermodel? Ha, compared to the talent down under she may well be but not here my gormless friend. Here she is average.

Yeah he only got 40 wickets in the 2005 series and claimed his 700th wicket (how's it goin', Straussy?) and bowled us to victory a couple of times in the 06/07 series. Don't even pretend for a moment that you wouldn't have him in your team if you had the option. Same with most of our team over the past few decades.

And LOL @ your comment about Pommy chicks being better. I've seen the ones at the cricket over there mate. Yikes. A few of them would do well to acquaint themselves with a razor, for a start.

Let's not talk about Jones, let's talk about the worlds best wicketkeeper batsman and Englands keeper, Matt Prior. What has he done latey? Hmmmm?

Got dropped from the ODI team didn't he?

I wish I could get 50? Sure, so does your top order mate.

Most of them average more than 50 for their careers, dimwit. None of yours do.

By the way, just going to put it out there, keep your eyes open for a young fast bowler by the name of Patrick Cummins. Plays for NSW and is 17 or 18 years old. Will rip through plenty of Pommy batting line-ups and cause plenty of your blokes to suffer from "Trescothick-itis" before his career is out, rest assured of that!

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Yup, hence why I know you're lousy.

She says Im better than you. Stick to boys, they seem to excite you more.

But of course you won't take up the challenge. I'm ready to strap the pads on - or should we make it two pints and no protective gear?

Let me get this straight. You, the bucked tooth Bunyip, want to take on this?.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO0JSuXWP6g

And LOL @ your comment about Pommy chicks being better. I've seen the ones at the cricket over there mate. Yikes. A few of them would do well to acquaint themselves with a razor, for a start.

It seems your attention has been drawn to the men.... again.

By the way, just going to put it out there, keep your eyes open for a young fast bowler by the name of Patrick Cummins. Plays for NSW and is 17 or 18 years old. Will rip through plenty of Pommy batting line-ups and cause plenty of your blokes to suffer from "Trescothick-itis" before his career is out, rest assured of that!

Yeah, you said that about Johnson, Watson, Siddle, Tait.....blah blah blah. I advise them to sit down and watch Anderson, Broad, Tremlett, Bresnan, Finn et al. Learn from the very best.

Trecothick-itis? We call Tait-itis over here......not that mental illness is the slightest bit funny.


Monty....who is finding you boring now, as per.