Cricket, lovely cricket

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Anyway, my team is soooo shite but I cant admit to it so I'll put up some immature false bravado, and revert to past histories (yet again zzzzzz) just so I have something to hold on to for the upcoming years. Something to hold off the depression.

Be honest now, you're translating that for yourself as you couldn't understand the eloquence of my statement. Couldn't write a paragraph like that if you tried.

Told you already, the Scott Bowlswell video is keeping me entertained for now.

By the way, did I ever mention to you that I have a dog named Monty?

You are relying on Pointing for 2013? Oh behave. His bath chair wont be allowed on the pitch.

Judging by your previous post, i've no doubt you'd be willing to accomodate him and his bath chair in your private quarters.

By the way, I should warn you, there's an Eddowes piece on the way from myself soon.....if you hate me now, wait till that arrives. I'm fairly sure your head will actually explode. That's all for now

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Anyway, at least you accept that the fluke which is your current form can't last for long and soon you will slide back into the mires of shitness which enveloped your team for so many years gone by. If only your fellow countryman here with the IQ of a peanut could realise that as well.

Cheers,
Adam

For those of you not fluent in b*llocks, here is what Adam had to say.

"Anyway, at least you accept that the fluke which is your current form can't last for long and soon you will slide back into the mires of shitness which enveloped your team for so many years gone by."

Anyway, my team is soooo shite but I cant admit to it so I'll put up some immature false bravado, and revert to past histories (yet again zzzzzz) just so I have something to hold on to for the upcoming years. Something to hold off the depression.

Roughly, translated word for word.

You are relying on Pointing for 2013? Oh behave. His bath chair wont be allowed on the pitch.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

You haven't won a series against us since when? 2007? In fact, your boys have only won one in four series played since you and I started exchanging humourous (on my part anyway, yours is just the ramblings on a mad man) posts in 2005.

I'm a mad man? No wonder we get along so well, Monty.

Been keeping an eye on the results from Sri Lanka? Ricky made an unbeaten 90 last night....winding back the clock in preparation for 2013.

Yeah, Scott Boswell, from Australian stock which says a lot. Try checking out our T 20 results, one of the best teams in the WORLD.

Thought you said that form of cricket was for "kids" too?

Geraint Jones is from Australian stock too.....lucky we palmed them off to you guys....

What muscles you pull is no ones business you filthy boy.

I was talking about my arms and legs. Why, what parts of me were you imagining, Monty? Let us all know....

Steven:

Into the Electric Pink Vodka Cruisers again I see....half a one too much for you to handle?

Anyway, at least you accept that the fluke which is your current form can't last for long and soon you will slide back into the mires of shitness which enveloped your team for so many years gone by. If only your fellow countryman here with the IQ of a peanut could realise that as well.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Steven Russell]

I'm finding it difficult to come to terms with us being no. 1. Are we really that good or were India unbelievably poor? Certainly we had the home advantage and most pundits agree that India were under-prepared. But to annihilate them to that degree was astonishing. Especially when you think that we are talking about Tendulkar, Dravid, Laxman, Sehwag and the rest.

A lot of the English commentators e.g. Hussain, Atherton, and Lloyd are saying that this is the best England team they have ever seen! Applying Benaud's Theorem that what the opposition would like least is the best, I would think that Harmison, Flintoff, and Jones would be a more formidable line-up than the current lot. But that assumes that they would all perform to the best of their ability most of the time - which they didn't.

The current England attack is remarkable in that they are relentlessly consistent - very good almost every time. Plus, we have five or six seamers to fill three places which renders us immune to the malaise India suffered when Zaheer Khan was injured. And, for once, there don't seem to be any weak links in the batting line-up - the lower order also know one end of the bat from the other and that is not a factor to be dismissed lightly.

Unbelievably, we are actually the best in the world. It still hasn't sunk in. I'd be surprised if that state of affairs lasted as long as it did for the great Aus. and Windies teams of the past, but let's celebrate!

Best wishes,
An extremely drunken Steve. Woooooooooooooooooooo! You're all my best mates. Can you lend me a fiver? Givuss a kiss. Hic.

[Monty]

Oop, twenty quid now.

You haven't won a series against us since when? 2007? In fact, your boys have only won one in four series played since you and I started exchanging humourous (on my part anyway, yours is just the ramblings on a mad man) posts in 2005.

You are officially worse than India, and we have just blown them away.

What makes you think you have what it takes?

Yeah, Scott Boswell, from Australian stock which says a lot. Try checking out our T 20 results, one of the best teams in the WORLD.

What muscles you pull is no ones business you filthy boy.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Doesn't bother me at all, in fact i'm enjoying it - the higher your bunch over over-rated reserves players go now, the further it is for them to fall and all the more painful for their supporters in 2013.

Who'd you bet the tenner with? You better give it back....I just learnt today that your beloved Leicester was once the home of a bloke named Scott Boswell. Remember him? Thanks to Youtube, i'll be smiling about that for days to come....

Incidentally, had my first hit in the nets for nearly a year yesterday. Pretty sore today. Pulled muscles in places I didn't think humans had muscles. But it was worthwhile, was hitting 'em pretty well.....after the first 10 minutes or so, that is...

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

They don't in a game.

However after consistantly beating Australia (which isn't really that difficult anymore) and performing outstanding cricket these past 18 months its fully deserved.

Besides, I knew it would grate on you and your predictable nature earnt me a tenner.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Whatever happened to the Monty who insisted that ICC rankings didn't matter a bit? Yeah, I remember...

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

After dominating the Aussies, pludering the Sri Lankans and destorying the Indians, England are now officially No1 Test playing nation in the world.

And fully deserved.

"Look at my works ye mighty, and despair."

Monty

[Adam Went]

And there you have it. Just to prove me spot on (or an idiot, not sure which yet), Johnson took 6 for 30 odd in the first ODI against Sri Lanka last night in a good victory for us.

That's all well and good, he's done that plenty of times before.....the point now is, can he back it up?

Cheers,
Adam.

[Adam Went]

Steven:

Understandable, of course. Every team goes through cycles of good and bad cricket - in fact, that would probably apply to every sports team in the world. But there's no doubt you've built up a decent team now, especially in the batting - I still think that your bowling isn't that strong but they keep proving people wrong so good luck to them.

India are looking down the barrel of facing the same situation as we did a few years back when most of our stars walked at the same time. Mentioned Laxman, Dravid and Tendulkar all being over 35 earlier, and I think Sehwag is about 35 now too so they will reach a point in the not too distant future where their stars will retire as well and then England really do have a chance of becoming #1 for a long time.

Except in 2013, of course. Then you shall be put back in your rightful places!

By the way Steven, do you have Skype? Might be the most effective way of giving you my rendition of GSTQ.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Steven Russell]

Spot on, old fellow. You must forgive us for crowing a bit about actually having a good team. We're not used to it, you see.

Berst wishes,
Steve.

[Adam Went]

Steven:

I believe the word you're looking for is....KARMA.

I don't know the answer to the trivia question. But I would be very interested to find out. Not sure how this can be achieved though.

Really do have a feeling that it was Brendon McCullum. In a match not that long ago.....Gareth Hopkins was keeping wicket. No doubt it'll come up in the Johnnie Walker Trivia one day.

Adam: Since I recognize that your pronouncements on this thread are fuelled by a blinkered nationalism allied to a severe inferiority complex, I will open the negotiations with the princely sum of **** all.

Harsh. Maybe you can sell my version of GSTQ to Itunes or something instead.

All I ask of you Poms is that when we aren't going so well, before dishing out the tongue lashings, just think for a moment about what it felt like back in the 90's to be a Pommy cricket fan, and how bad you felt after each Ashes series. Well, that's us now.....and being that we always took every win with extreme humility and grace, it would be sporting of you to do the same.

PS Since you mention Top Gear - although why, I'll never know - I saw a film with one of the fellows from the Aussie version recently. It was called "Kenny" and was excellent for an Aussie film. And no Bryan Brown!

Shane Jacobsen is the man.

If you wanna see a brilliant new Aussie film which is also based on a true story, check out "Red Dog" when it comes your way.

Monty:

My lad can bowl, Watson cannot, that is obvious. He is more a Broad, what a great player

Short memories. Watson used to be a bit of a bowling all-rounder, and would bat at 6 or 7. Can still bowl at 140 km/h and swing it both ways. If I was your son i'd be striving to be more like Watson than Broad any day, nobody likes a mouthy little cheat.

He has been taught well, we don't tolerate Johnsons here.

Now Johnson I agree with you about, he's useless. Occasionally produces a fantastic spell and everybody says he's turned a corner and then he slips back into mediocrity again. Watched him bowling in the T20 match against Sri Lanka last night, the amount of times he sent down half-trackers to Dilshan which promptly got despatched 30 rows back, I lost track of. What's wrong with full and straight?

He's only in the team because the honest truth of the matter is that there's nobody at state level who's knocking down the door for selection.

How's this post for honesty, Steven?

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

No Adam,

My lad can bowl, Watson cannot, that is obvious. He is more a Broad, what a great player.

His main strike ball is the inswinging yorker. So far this season he hasn't bowled a single no ball and 7 wides (2 were dubious). And in the photo it pitched on middle, seamed away and the bat took arms.....just to get it straight. He has been taught well, we don't tolerate Johnsons here.

Monty

[Steven Russell]

Bollocks! Knowing full well that I had better not screw up myself when taking the piss out of someone's spelling or grammar, I did read that post about four times. Completely missed "Opinon". Bloody hell! Serves me right I suppose.

I don't know the answer to the trivia question. But I would be very interested to find out. Not sure how this can be achieved though.

Adam: Since I recognize that your pronouncements on this thread are fuelled by a blinkered nationalism allied to a severe inferiority complex, I will open the negotiations with the princely sum of **** all.

Monty: good luck to your lad.

Best wishes,
Steve.

PS Since you mention Top Gear - although why, I'll never know - I saw a film with one of the fellows from the Aussie version recently. It was called "Kenny" and was excellent for an Aussie film. And no Bryan Brown!