Cricket, lovely cricket

[Phryne Fisher]

Must admit I've been dreadfully disappointed with this Ashes series. We're bad, but more importantly, England are bloody good, damn yez

It cheered me up a bit today when I heard this story about a couple of sad old farts who used to be in cricket:



Hee hee.

WTF? Me link didn't post. I'll try it again:

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/old-enem...207-18ohu.html

[Adam Went]

I would be quite happy to watch us get smashed 5-0 in every Ashes series for the next decade if only to see Warnie don the baggy green and come back one more time this series....

Everybody knows that all the Pommy cricketers (especially Monty's favourite, The Sherminator) and fans alike are absolutely shitting themselves over the possibility of him coming back....as Phil says, he could field at first slip, or even do a UN circa 2005 and just put his feet up in the dressing room when he's not bowling. Might even make that long awaited test century.

You should be nicer to Warnie anyway. He's keeping the likes of Darren Gough employed these days, doing segments on his talk show....

www.bringbackwarne.com - donations, Monty? Phil? Steven?

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Anyway, I shall refrain from making any further comment on the cricket or this thread from now on.....or at least, until the end of the test series. Enjoy!

Adam Went - 4th December 2010

Another prediction you got wrong Adam.

Yeah, bring him back, heck where do I sign Adam?

Is that your last hope? An ageing cricket who can only turn milk nowadays. A man who got destroyed during the IPL season.

Please. Not sh*tting ourselves , more like p*ssing ourselves......with laughter.

Monty

[Steven Russell]

Another prediction you got wrong Adam.

Yeah, bring him back, heck where do I sign Adam?

Is that your last hope? An ageing cricket who can only turn milk nowadays. A man who got destroyed during the IPL season.

Please. Not sh*tting ourselves , more like p*ssing ourselves......with laughter.

Monty

A little harsh, Monty, I feel. Warne was undoubtedly one of the finest cricketers ever to don any colour cap. How you Aussies must miss him. You may have some future stars up your antipodean sleeve but from these wintry shores, it doesn't look as though the current crop will be able to overhaul our lead. From a personal point of view, it's rather a shame as I was looking forward to subjecting you to my version of Waltzing Matilda. By the way, I don't know if you've noticed but it's not even a waltz. What's that all about?

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Derrick]

I agree, this series is probably going to be very boring....for the Aussies.

Englands bowling attack is yards more effective than the Aussies and is key.
The pitches have been benign so far and already England are 1 up.

England's batsman are making hay with the lucklustre Aussie attack.

Swann, Anderson and Finn are having a field day. Swann is the best spinner in the world after a similar number of test matches and is a great personality to have around the team.

All this talk of Warne coming back will just give England more heart to know that the Aussies have just about thrown the towel in already.

England should go out and really bully Australia from here on in.

Derrick

[Monty]

Not harsh Steve, honest.

Warne is one of the greatest players of all time. However that was then. Now? Look has is record in the final years. Add that with his gammy shoulder, well our bats would destroy him.

He'd be wise to keep his adored status.

Monty

[Steven Russell]

I agree 100%, Monty. I certainly was not advocating Warne's return. He will not come back. He has earned his retirement and a recall (which I doubt he would accept) would make a laughing stock of the already beleaguered Aussie selectors.

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Well I heard that you were missing me, and the constant stream of insults and ownings that come your way, both for you and your insipid, incompetent, multi-nationals masquerading as the England cricket team.
What you must understand is that I am ultra-competitive when it comes to anything, be it a game of eightball at the pub or as an Aussie supporter during the Ashes, and failure is never, ever an option.

Meanwhile, Dean Jones said yesterday that he could "categorically state" from Warne's own mouth that if Cricket Australia went to him and offered him the captaincy for the next two years, he'd be straight back. It's looking more and more likely every day......just imagine the atmosphere, Warne makes his comeback at the MCG for the Boxing Day test, his home ground. Wow. I'll be off to Melbourne quicker than you Poms can go and cry in a corner somewhere if it happens....

Nobody would even care if he went for 0-200 off 20 overs, just having the man in the team would give everybody a massive lift.

Steven:

You can still inflict your version of Waltzing Matilda on us if you wish....don't know why it's not a waltz, but it does have a "jolly jumbuck".

Derrick:

*yawn*.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Adam,

Nice to know I still push your buttons, in complete control of you. As is the norm for an Anglo Antipedian relationship. Mother country shouts, you jump.

Anyways, you change 5 and Warne aint one of em. Waiting till your 2 down and Ashes lost before you call in the Fat Surfer? I hear Benaud is gutted he hasn't been called up.

Hold on to your false hope of Warnies return. We'll just concentrate on what we do best. Dispatching the bad balls (and there were loads) , hitting the areas and taking the catches. All the things your lads failed to do last test.

Chin up, you're still in it....for now.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Wouldn't be too confident if I were you, I hear the steaming pile of faecal matter that is the UN cricket team are having a pretty tough time against the mighty Vics at the moment.....so if worst comes to worst, we can just drop our entire team and bring in the Vics, eh?

Time for another of Adam's Ashes predictions:
The recalled Philip Hughes to make a quickfire ton in the first innings at Perth.

Cheers,
Adam.

[The Good Michael]

Why does anyone care about a sport to the point of making it a nation vs nation thing? It's absurdity at it highest level.

Mike

[Steven Russell]

You're missing the point by miles, Michael. We love cricket and respect each other as fellow cricket lovers. The baiting and faintly ridiculous pseudo-nationalism is all part of the fun. What is truly absurd is that anyone can fail to see that.

Steve.

[Stephen Thomas]

Why does anyone care about a sport to the point of making it a nation vs nation thing? It's absurdity at it highest level.

Noble sentiments, Mike, but not the way of the world.

[Monty]

Absolutely Steve,

For those who don't know, Adam and I have this little sledging match at every Ashes encounter. Its what the English and Australians do.

Both Adam and I have agreed to donate to charity if either of our sides lose.

So don't take our words to heart. We both know the score.

I'm right and Adams wrong, that's why I live in what he calls the Mother country.

Monty

[Monty]

Adam,

We only care about the games that matter. Besides, the Victorians are facing our second string attack.

I hope Hughes gets a ton too. Be more of a game then. You may lose in less than an innings.

Monty