Burka

[tji]

Hi Robert


"Do they know what happened to the other one?" Hitler's words exactly.[/QUOTE]

What he didn't know either?

Did he just wake up one day and it was gone??!!

Hi Natalie

I don't know that one, which I bet my nan was grateful for.

Hi Stephen

the one I was taught was different

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is on the kitchen wall
His mother the dirty bugger
cut it off when he was small.

Although I am guessing their are quite a few variations out there.

Tj

[Robert]

Tj, he probably wanted to leave it under his pillow in the hope of sixpence from the fairies.

[tji]

Hi Robert

Either that or bailiffs over there were freakishly good at their jobs.

Tj

[Zodiac]

"That's strange!" What is wrong mein Fuhrer? "I could have sworn I had two!!??"

The marching song version I was taught in the 1950s was:

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Leeds Town Hall
Himmler is very similar
And Goe(balls) has no balls at all

Apparently the Russian autopsy confirmed that Hitler did only just have the one. Strange that the British soldiers knew that.

Sounds like the version that we used to sing as kids back in the 70's. Only ours started a bit different, probably because of the comedy show "It ain't half hot mum" that was on TV at that time.

Land of soap and water, Hitler's having a bath
Bormann's looking through the keyhole, having a bloody good laugh!
Beeeeecause...
Hitler has only got one ball
Goering has two but very small
Himmler has something similar
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all!

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Leeds Town Hall
His mother the dirty bugger
Cut it off when he was small!

She threw it into a chestnut tree
The wind blew it into the deep blue sea
The fishes got out their dishes
And had scallops and bollocks for tea!

Best wishes,

Zodiac.

[Robert]

I think someone remarked that Hitler would often be seen standing with his hands clasped over his groin, as if protectively. Might have been a result of an injury there.

Didn't Russ Meyer once make a film where someone puts piranha fish in Hitler's bath?

"Nein, nein, not in my tub!"

[Zodiac]

Mein Fuhrer... We have found it!!!

I think someone remarked that Hitler would often be seen standing with his hands clasped over his groin, as if protectively. Might have been a result of an injury there.

Didn't Russ Meyer once make a film where someone puts piranha fish in Hitler's bath?

"Nein, nein, not in my tub!"

Hi Rob,

http://www.youtube.com/user/hitlerrantsparodies#p/u/78/-8N2zDIgm0w

http://www.youtube.com/user/hitlerrantsparodies#p/u/174/iTUfd_ENYSo

http://www.youtube.com/user/lipsyncmovies#p/a/u/1/5mqpjjz7K_s

Best wishes,

Zodiac.

[Limehouse]

Ah Nats, sometimes it's the most dreadful things that I joke about the most. We each have our own way of handling things.

And who wouldn't smile at "Hitler Sings George Formby"?

That would certainly raise more than a smile in me! I'd love to hear him get his accent round 'Mr Woo's a Window Cleaner Now'.

[Limehouse]

Isn't it amazing how this thread has gone from Burkas to boll***s?

[Natalie Severn]

Maybe its a kind of Freudian slip - Julie?

[Bob Hinton]

Oh really...

Thatcher was born into privilege; how could anyone take anything she says seriously, really??

..

You really must stop letting your class hatred take over. Margaret Thatcher was the daughter of a grocer in Grantham and was raised in a small flat. Hardly a priveleged start in life is it? She worked for what she achieved.

[Bob Hinton]

Oh really...

No-one did more to create poverty and deprivation in this country than the Thatcher woman by destroying peoples jobs..

What tosh. What is your definition of a job? I always thought was where you worked and earned money by your labours. If you are referring to the coal and steel industries they weren’t jobs, they were charities costing the British taxpayer more than a million pounds a day in subsidies.

If you want to look at who destroyed jobs, look to the likes of Arthur Scargill. Haven’t you ever wondered why during the miners’ strike that he caused not one single other trade union backed him? Because they knew that he was wrong and his intransigence caused despair and misery to thousands of miners. You are also overlooking the 30% pay rises the miners unions got in the early seventies to the detriment of the whole country.

When Mrs Thatcher took over the economy was rated 17th in the world, when the Conservatives were finally ousted the economy was 4th. After ten years of Labour now look at it! We are now spending more on benefits than on the NHS.

[Bob Hinton]

Respecting Culture

I see another British woman has been arrested in a Muslim country for not respecting their culture by dressing inappropiately.

Strange isn't it when we go their country we have to respect their culture, when they come here they stick two fingers up at us!

[Dark Ali]

What tosh. What is your definition of a job? I always thought was where you worked and earned money by your labours. If you are referring to the coal and steel industries they weren’t jobs, they were charities costing the British taxpayer more than a million pounds a day in subsidies.

If you want to look at who destroyed jobs, look to the likes of Arthur Scargill. Haven’t you ever wondered why during the miners’ strike that he caused not one single other trade union backed him? Because they knew that he was wrong and his intransigence caused despair and misery to thousands of miners. You are also overlooking the 30% pay rises the miners unions got in the early seventies to the detriment of the whole country.

When Mrs Thatcher took over the economy was rated 17th in the world, when the Conservatives were finally ousted the economy was 4th. After ten years of Labour now look at it! We are now spending more on benefits than on the NHS.

Agree totally with Bob on this, during the last elections a staunch labour supporter raised the question "What did Thatcher ever do for us?"
My answer was that under Thatchers government I would have been actively encouraged to own my own home and small business and had access to higher education with a grant rather than a loan system.
People are screaming about lack of social housing in the UK because of the right to buy system she introduced here, but a successive labour govt. had some 13 years to give local authorities powers to build more, but never did.

[Limehouse]

What tosh. What is your definition of a job? I always thought was where you worked and earned money by your labours. If you are referring to the coal and steel industries they weren’t jobs, they were charities costing the British taxpayer more than a million pounds a day in subsidies.

If you want to look at who destroyed jobs, look to the likes of Arthur Scargill. Haven’t you ever wondered why during the miners’ strike that he caused not one single other trade union backed him? Because they knew that he was wrong and his intransigence caused despair and misery to thousands of miners. You are also overlooking the 30% pay rises the miners unions got in the early seventies to the detriment of the whole country.

When Mrs Thatcher took over the economy was rated 17th in the world, when the Conservatives were finally ousted the economy was 4th. After ten years of Labour now look at it! We are now spending more on benefits than on the NHS.

Thatcher took unemplyment levels to over three million.

How can you say other unions did not back Scargill? I was out on the streets collecting money for miners'; families during the miners' strike backed by my then union.

I can remember being on 50p per hour in the mid 70s and unions at that time were fighting for a £1 hourly minimum. During that year - Lord Vestey paid 1 PENCE - yes 1 PENCE - in taxes. Don't you dare blame hard-working people for wanting a slice of the cake.

[Limehouse]

Agree totally with Bob on this, during the last elections a staunch labour supporter raised the question "What did Thatcher ever do for us?"
My answer was that under Thatchers government I would have been actively encouraged to own my own home and small business and had access to higher education with a grant rather than a loan system.
People are screaming about lack of social housing in the UK because of the right to buy system she introduced here, but a successive labour govt. had some 13 years to give local authorities powers to build more, but never did.

Never did? WRONG! They introduced a system whereby a percentage of newly built housing developments had to include social housing.