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  • tji
    Sergeant
    • Feb 2008
    • 523

    #286
    Hi Robert


    "Do they know what happened to the other one?" Hitler's words exactly.[/QUOTE]

    What he didn't know either?

    Did he just wake up one day and it was gone??!!

    Hi Natalie

    I don't know that one, which I bet my nan was grateful for.

    Hi Stephen

    the one I was taught was different

    Hitler has only got one ball
    The other is on the kitchen wall
    His mother the dirty bugger
    cut it off when he was small.

    Although I am guessing their are quite a few variations out there.

    Tj
    Last edited by tji; 08-05-2010, 12:37 AM.
    It's not about what you know....it's about what you can find out

    Comment

    • Robert
      Commissioner
      • Feb 2008
      • 5163

      #287
      Tj, he probably wanted to leave it under his pillow in the hope of sixpence from the fairies.

      Comment

      • tji
        Sergeant
        • Feb 2008
        • 523

        #288
        Hi Robert

        Either that or bailiffs over there were freakishly good at their jobs.

        Tj
        It's not about what you know....it's about what you can find out

        Comment

        • Zodiac
          Detective
          • Mar 2009
          • 160

          #289
          "That's strange!" What is wrong mein Fuhrer? "I could have sworn I had two!!??"

          Originally posted by Stephen Thomas View Post
          The marching song version I was taught in the 1950s was:

          Hitler has only got one ball
          The other is in the Leeds Town Hall
          Himmler is very similar
          And Goe(balls) has no balls at all

          Apparently the Russian autopsy confirmed that Hitler did only just have the one. Strange that the British soldiers knew that.
          Sounds like the version that we used to sing as kids back in the 70's. Only ours started a bit different, probably because of the comedy show "It ain't half hot mum" that was on TV at that time.

          Land of soap and water, Hitler's having a bath
          Bormann's looking through the keyhole, having a bloody good laugh!
          Beeeeecause...
          Hitler has only got one ball
          Goering has two but very small
          Himmler has something similar
          But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all!

          Hitler has only got one ball
          The other is in the Leeds Town Hall
          His mother the dirty bugger
          Cut it off when he was small!

          She threw it into a chestnut tree
          The wind blew it into the deep blue sea
          The fishes got out their dishes
          And had scallops and bollocks for tea!

          Best wishes,

          Zodiac.
          And thus I clothe my naked villainy
          With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;
          And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.

          Comment

          • Robert
            Commissioner
            • Feb 2008
            • 5163

            #290
            I think someone remarked that Hitler would often be seen standing with his hands clasped over his groin, as if protectively. Might have been a result of an injury there.

            Didn't Russ Meyer once make a film where someone puts piranha fish in Hitler's bath?

            "Nein, nein, not in my tub!"

            Comment

            • Zodiac
              Detective
              • Mar 2009
              • 160

              #291
              Mein Fuhrer... We have found it!!!

              Originally posted by Robert View Post
              I think someone remarked that Hitler would often be seen standing with his hands clasped over his groin, as if protectively. Might have been a result of an injury there.

              Didn't Russ Meyer once make a film where someone puts piranha fish in Hitler's bath?

              "Nein, nein, not in my tub!"
              Hi Rob,







              Best wishes,

              Zodiac.
              And thus I clothe my naked villainy
              With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;
              And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.

              Comment

              • Limehouse
                Chief Inspector
                • Mar 2008
                • 1895

                #292
                Originally posted by Robert View Post
                Ah Nats, sometimes it's the most dreadful things that I joke about the most. We each have our own way of handling things.

                And who wouldn't smile at "Hitler Sings George Formby"?

                That would certainly raise more than a smile in me! I'd love to hear him get his accent round 'Mr Woo's a Window Cleaner Now'.

                Comment

                • Limehouse
                  Chief Inspector
                  • Mar 2008
                  • 1895

                  #293
                  Isn't it amazing how this thread has gone from Burkas to boll***s?

                  Comment

                  • Natalie Severn
                    Commissioner
                    • Feb 2008
                    • 4863

                    #294
                    Maybe its a kind of Freudian slip - Julie?

                    Comment

                    • Bob Hinton
                      Inactive
                      • Feb 2008
                      • 654

                      #295
                      Oh really...

                      Originally posted by cappuccina View Post
                      Thatcher was born into privilege; how could anyone take anything she says seriously, really??

                      ..
                      You really must stop letting your class hatred take over. Margaret Thatcher was the daughter of a grocer in Grantham and was raised in a small flat. Hardly a priveleged start in life is it? She worked for what she achieved.

                      Comment

                      • Bob Hinton
                        Inactive
                        • Feb 2008
                        • 654

                        #296
                        Oh really...

                        Originally posted by brummie View Post
                        No-one did more to create poverty and deprivation in this country than the Thatcher woman by destroying peoples jobs..
                        What tosh. What is your definition of a job? I always thought was where you worked and earned money by your labours. If you are referring to the coal and steel industries they weren’t jobs, they were charities costing the British taxpayer more than a million pounds a day in subsidies.

                        If you want to look at who destroyed jobs, look to the likes of Arthur Scargill. Haven’t you ever wondered why during the miners’ strike that he caused not one single other trade union backed him? Because they knew that he was wrong and his intransigence caused despair and misery to thousands of miners. You are also overlooking the 30% pay rises the miners unions got in the early seventies to the detriment of the whole country.

                        When Mrs Thatcher took over the economy was rated 17th in the world, when the Conservatives were finally ousted the economy was 4th. After ten years of Labour now look at it! We are now spending more on benefits than on the NHS.

                        Comment

                        • Bob Hinton
                          Inactive
                          • Feb 2008
                          • 654

                          #297
                          Respecting Culture

                          I see another British woman has been arrested in a Muslim country for not respecting their culture by dressing inappropiately.

                          Strange isn't it when we go their country we have to respect their culture, when they come here they stick two fingers up at us!

                          Comment

                          • Dark Ali
                            Cadet
                            • Feb 2008
                            • 41

                            #298
                            Originally posted by Bob Hinton View Post
                            What tosh. What is your definition of a job? I always thought was where you worked and earned money by your labours. If you are referring to the coal and steel industries they weren’t jobs, they were charities costing the British taxpayer more than a million pounds a day in subsidies.

                            If you want to look at who destroyed jobs, look to the likes of Arthur Scargill. Haven’t you ever wondered why during the miners’ strike that he caused not one single other trade union backed him? Because they knew that he was wrong and his intransigence caused despair and misery to thousands of miners. You are also overlooking the 30% pay rises the miners unions got in the early seventies to the detriment of the whole country.

                            When Mrs Thatcher took over the economy was rated 17th in the world, when the Conservatives were finally ousted the economy was 4th. After ten years of Labour now look at it! We are now spending more on benefits than on the NHS.
                            Agree totally with Bob on this, during the last elections a staunch labour supporter raised the question "What did Thatcher ever do for us?"
                            My answer was that under Thatchers government I would have been actively encouraged to own my own home and small business and had access to higher education with a grant rather than a loan system.
                            People are screaming about lack of social housing in the UK because of the right to buy system she introduced here, but a successive labour govt. had some 13 years to give local authorities powers to build more, but never did.
                            http://www.taraforum.com/

                            Comment

                            • Limehouse
                              Chief Inspector
                              • Mar 2008
                              • 1895

                              #299
                              Originally posted by Bob Hinton View Post
                              What tosh. What is your definition of a job? I always thought was where you worked and earned money by your labours. If you are referring to the coal and steel industries they weren’t jobs, they were charities costing the British taxpayer more than a million pounds a day in subsidies.

                              If you want to look at who destroyed jobs, look to the likes of Arthur Scargill. Haven’t you ever wondered why during the miners’ strike that he caused not one single other trade union backed him? Because they knew that he was wrong and his intransigence caused despair and misery to thousands of miners. You are also overlooking the 30% pay rises the miners unions got in the early seventies to the detriment of the whole country.

                              When Mrs Thatcher took over the economy was rated 17th in the world, when the Conservatives were finally ousted the economy was 4th. After ten years of Labour now look at it! We are now spending more on benefits than on the NHS.
                              Thatcher took unemplyment levels to over three million.

                              How can you say other unions did not back Scargill? I was out on the streets collecting money for miners'; families during the miners' strike backed by my then union.

                              I can remember being on 50p per hour in the mid 70s and unions at that time were fighting for a £1 hourly minimum. During that year - Lord Vestey paid 1 PENCE - yes 1 PENCE - in taxes. Don't you dare blame hard-working people for wanting a slice of the cake.

                              Comment

                              • Limehouse
                                Chief Inspector
                                • Mar 2008
                                • 1895

                                #300
                                Originally posted by Dark Ali View Post
                                Agree totally with Bob on this, during the last elections a staunch labour supporter raised the question "What did Thatcher ever do for us?"
                                My answer was that under Thatchers government I would have been actively encouraged to own my own home and small business and had access to higher education with a grant rather than a loan system.
                                People are screaming about lack of social housing in the UK because of the right to buy system she introduced here, but a successive labour govt. had some 13 years to give local authorities powers to build more, but never did.



                                Never did? WRONG! They introduced a system whereby a percentage of newly built housing developments had to include social housing.

                                Comment

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