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My dear Zodiac,
I have the honour to have been born in Yorkshire myself and now reside in that fine county. However, my formative years were spent elsewhere; a fact which occasioned a lengthy and highly unfortunate interruption in my own Ecky Thump studies. I am ashamed to confess that I have only progressed to white pudding grade and fear that I may never attain true mastery of that noble art.
When I say elsewhere, I mean Hartlepool which is a wonderful place to come from but less agreeable to go to. You may be aware of a legend concerning this quaint little town but I would be surprised indeed if you were acquainted with the extremely specific and most secret martial art practised in those parts. Suffice it to say that I am able to string up any recalcitrant primate with a speed which would cause any witnesses to draw in their breath in admiration and whisper, "Who is he?"
The adult male Hartlepudlian is, with a few exceptions, an uncouth creature to be avoided if at all possible. Perhaps you will forgive me for offering some unsolicited advice with regard to identification of the species. For it is a fact that one or two have cultivated a veneer of civility by acquiring (no doubt by nefarious means) a public school education. Sooner or later, however, they will give themselves away by asking, "At whom the f**k are you looking?"
It is my fervent hope that you may never have recourse to make use of this information and I remain, your obedient servant,
Steve.
I have the honour to have been born in Yorkshire myself and now reside in that fine county. However, my formative years were spent elsewhere; a fact which occasioned a lengthy and highly unfortunate interruption in my own Ecky Thump studies. I am ashamed to confess that I have only progressed to white pudding grade and fear that I may never attain true mastery of that noble art.
When I say elsewhere, I mean Hartlepool which is a wonderful place to come from but less agreeable to go to. You may be aware of a legend concerning this quaint little town but I would be surprised indeed if you were acquainted with the extremely specific and most secret martial art practised in those parts. Suffice it to say that I am able to string up any recalcitrant primate with a speed which would cause any witnesses to draw in their breath in admiration and whisper, "Who is he?"
The adult male Hartlepudlian is, with a few exceptions, an uncouth creature to be avoided if at all possible. Perhaps you will forgive me for offering some unsolicited advice with regard to identification of the species. For it is a fact that one or two have cultivated a veneer of civility by acquiring (no doubt by nefarious means) a public school education. Sooner or later, however, they will give themselves away by asking, "At whom the f**k are you looking?"
It is my fervent hope that you may never have recourse to make use of this information and I remain, your obedient servant,
Steve.
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