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Piece of Chalk

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  • Piece of Chalk

    Behold we see the writing there
    And some opine it's just Free aire
    Inspector said to Click the lens
    But Warren ordered We will cleanse

    So left we are to ponder such
    its meaning as to straws we clutch.
    But one thing we can never doubt
    That mystery pervades throughout.
    Sink the Bismark

  • #2
    Indeed, Roy! Alternative ending:

    So left we are to ponder such
    Its meaning as to straws we clutch.
    While some may doubt it very much,
    The dratted thing was scrawled by....

    But then I ran out of anything for "much" to rhyme with. Bummer.

    Comment


    • #3
      The absurdity of the GSG

      A Colonel named Trumpington-Bland
      Waxed wrothful in Old Samarkand,
      The Uzbeks defeated
      He, victorious, retreated
      Having first written "Nyaah!" in the sand.
      Kind regards, Sam Flynn

      "Suche Nullen" (Nietzsche, Götzendämmerung, 1888)

      Comment


      • #4
        Laugh or Cry

        Barnardo is the man we praise.
        He helped so many lives to raise.
        And now comes those that might suggest
        That killing was what he did best

        Do I laugh or do I cry?
        Or do I just then close my eye
        And think do I, well after all
        It's not the first yarn to enthrall

        There was Gull and Sickert, too
        Poor Clarence dear, he’s in there, poo
        And Don’t forget the sweet midwife
        They said she wielded quite a knife.

        It won’t end folks, least not today
        Next thing you’ll hear a person say:
        I have the Jack, I know it now!
        He ate buffet at Ye’ Olde HofBrau
        Sink the Bismark

        Comment


        • #5
          And so, just for jolly,
          My aim to blame the juw.
          With half her bloody apron
          A clue, from you know who.

          And so, upon the jamb,
          There for all to see.
          With half her bloody apron
          So you would know it`s me

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Ben View Post
            Indeed, Roy! Alternative ending:

            So left we are to ponder such
            Its meaning as to straws we clutch.
            While some may doubt it very much,
            The dratted thing was scrawled by....

            But then I ran out of anything for "much" to rhyme with. Bummer.
            a killer strolling by a hutch

            Comment


            • #7
              Jack Ramble

              Barnett Bury Pizer Ape
              Man with Gladstone bag and cape
              Koz and Cohen went insane
              Jim was cuffed on Cottage Lane

              Pimple Blaster Dr. No
              Oops it’s Bond we’ll take it slow
              Rode a train from Liverpool
              Puckeridge was known to drool

              Feigenbaum is he a fit
              Issenschmidt he had no wit
              Cambridge don or Fogelma
              Did a butcher break the law

              How did he make such escapes
              Packer packin more than grapes
              Did he shave or grow a beard
              William Bull got drunk and weird

              Inquiry made at the Hague
              Meantime floats the young Montague
              Dresden hears from Lowenheim
              Oliphant was so sublime

              Catch a Slav’ll get er’ done
              Pedachencko hey there’s one
              Vassili and Ostrog too
              Might as well throw in Raspue

              Draw a cirque la miscreant
              Diagram it to an ant
              Sketch a line, connect the dot
              Toss a dart see whatcha got

              Came from Hull to bed the ward
              Stranger crossed to land of Bard
              Fred found barber man too late
              Why did Hutch wait by the gate

              Royals Masons water basins
              Stop at fountain stash the arpon
              Cutbush Levy Hyam Hyam
              Sion Square the coppers spy em’

              Grainger Fleming Deeming whaler
              Gone to hop so hold the bailer
              Was artiste the letter mailer
              Uncle Tom the Cobley nailer

              Cream said Me I was the one!
              This is just plain too much fun
              If I missed your favorite son
              Have a go at posting one.
              Sink the Bismark

              Comment


              • #8
                Great poem, Roy! Especially liked the visual rhyme of "vague" and "Montague".

                But... "Raspue"?!!
                Kind regards, Sam Flynn

                "Suche Nullen" (Nietzsche, Götzendämmerung, 1888)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Roy,

                  I think you captured the abstract history of Ripper suspectology in one poem. Never a need to buy another suspect book. It's all there!

                  Nice work!

                  Mike
                  huh?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ole Tom Sadler came ashore
                    Had a fling with paramour
                    Threw him in the dock right there
                    Wapping stories raised some hair

                    Mrs Maxwell saw a gal
                    Problem is she's dead by now
                    Took a room G Wentworth Bell
                    Alfred Hitchcock told it well
                    Sink the Bismark

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Jack the Ripper came and went
                      Quite a coming going gent
                      Still we do not know his name
                      Only know he went, he came.
                      If you're going to be a ghoul
                      Take care not to play the fool
                      No satanic necromancy
                      Keep it plain and don't be fancy.
                      Come and rip 'em up and go
                      Nobody will ever know.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Clever one Robert! Congrats.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks Nats!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Scandalous!

                            Francis Thompson poet he
                            On a hooker-chasing spree
                            Lewis Carroll wrote a tome
                            Was he late arriving home

                            How did Randolph get the syph
                            From a jaunt down ole Ratcliff
                            If you find these notions queer
                            Ponder Eddy dressing deer

                            Click image for larger version

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                            Sink the Bismark

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              For those familiar with "The Mikado" ...

                              THE LITTLE(CHILD) LIST SONG

                              If someday it should happen that a suspect must be found
                              I've got a little list, I've got a little list
                              Of American malfeasants who are often leather-bound:
                              The mad self-flagellist, the sadomasochist.
                              The type of man who dresses up in women's underwear,
                              Who tucks his thing between his thighs, pretending it's not there,
                              And who, confronted with some shag, would rather take the twist -
                              I've got 'im on the list, I've got 'im on the list.

                              There's the sort who'd wax satyrical his handlebar moustache,
                              The flashy facialist - I've got him on my list;
                              The guy who hangs out with the boys and showers them with cash,
                              He never will be missed, he never will be missed.
                              The advertising quack who bores with tales of countless cures,
                              The sort who likes to tie you up, and jab your skin with skewers,
                              Who, even clapped in manacles, would slip one off the wrist -
                              That randy herbalist, I've got 'im on the list.

                              There's the man who pickles matrices and keeps them in a jar,
                              The hysterectomist - I've got 'im on the list;
                              He may have done a moonlight flit, but won't get very far,
                              That escapologist - he'll not for long be missed,
                              For I have put upon his tail a colleague from the Yard,
                              Who'll not fail to re-arrest him; well, it surely can't be hard!
                              And if we don't, he'll not evade the ripperologist
                              Who simply can't resist to keep him on the list.
                              Kind regards, Sam Flynn

                              "Suche Nullen" (Nietzsche, Götzendämmerung, 1888)

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