If you could travel back in time.

[Patti]

Why has no one said they would "take him out" after waiting to see who committed the first murder so he would do no others? Or at least tell someone who would stop him? Look at all the time, effort, tragedy and pain you would be eliminating, all the innocent men you would avoid accusing in vain and all the trees and electronic impulses you would save by not pursuing this case.

On the other hand, I'm sure we would have just found another interesting murder to investigate.

[Steve F]

Eureka!

Hi all
Well, I have to tell you all I finally did it.Anyone whose seen my signature will know that I've been workin on a time machine for some time and it was completed tomorrow(?) so next Friday I went back to1888(hope you are following this)and did all the things above and lurked about the murder sites and saw HIM!
Anyone wishing to know who it was,or want to know tomorrows lottery numbers can mail me a £50 note and you will get an answer in about 6-8 weeks from me in the Bahamas

[Robert]

Well Steve, I've been back in a time machine to try and do some good, but I got no thanks whatsoever.

I went back to Berner Street and tried to pull Liz out of that gateway, but she started struggling and then some twit called Schwarz saw me and the net
result was that Liz was murdered anyway, and I've gone down in history as BS man.

Later on I caught up with Kate and said "Don't go into that corner." But would she listen? Would she 'eck as like. And to cap it all some prat called Lawende saw me talking to her and gave my description to the police.

Then I got hold of Mary Kelly, determined to spend the night in her room and capture the murderer when he arrived. But some pillock called George Hutchinson followed me down the alley, knocked me on the head and I woke up seven streets away wearing only my underwear.

I'm through with this philanthropist lark.

Grumpy Robert

[Graham]

If my own personal time-machine transported me back to the East End on October 3rd 1888, I would instantly call a cab, put the proverbial two fingers up to Jack The Ripper and all his works, travel in style to The Strand and The Savoy Theatre to enjoy the opening night of Gilbert & Sullivan's The Yeomen Of The Guard and phooey to the lot of yer!

Cheers,

Graham

[Sam Flynn]

I like the idea of a G&S première, Graham... but on balance I think I'd be more inclined to head off to Berner Street and tarmac Dutfield's Yard.

[Suzi]

He he Gareth/Graham-

'What a tale of **** and Bull!'..............with convincing detail full -Tale tremendous-Heaven defend us- What a Tale of **** and Bull etc etc

WHY do I have perfect G & S recall??? Gawd how worrying is that!!!!

Ooooh I dunno ............when anyone talks about time machines like this- I always think about butterflies and silver paths...............

Suz x
Isn't it sad you can't quote Jack Point and Kate Eddowes without resorting to ***'s

[Suzi]

On this Victorian road laying machine I hope!


He he he!! The original cobble-layer (Note the handy cobble box on the rear!) en route to The Savoy ...... With a 'Wont cost ya anymore Squire to go via Th' East End- do a bit of business there-famous place so they say- and then off to the h'opra -Don't worry if you miss the Overture moi son- you'll 'ear 'em all later- OK Squire???!'

hehe x

[Graham]

He he Gareth/Graham-

'What a tale of **** and Bull!'..............with convincing detail full -Tale tremendous-Heaven defend us- What a Tale of **** and Bull etc etc

WHY do I have perfect G & S recall??? Gawd how worrying is that!!!!

Ooooh I dunno ............when anyone talks about time machines like this- I always think about butterflies and silver paths...............

Suz x
Isn't it sad you can't quote Jack Point and Kate Eddowes without resorting to ***'s

Suze,

The week after next I myself personally am appearing as Wilfred Shadbolt in Erdington Operatic Society's highly traditional and in no way modernised production of Yeomen. It really is a tale of **** and ****. I get to be fondled by our gorgeous Phoebe in "Were I Thy Bride" and I've paid a lot of money for the privilege.

Do I detect that you are a Savoyard past or present...one of the three Little Maids, perchance? A daughter of General Stanley? Ida?

Cheers,

W S Graham

PS: get thee to Sutton Coldfield Town Hall, 4th - 8th November. Tear-jerking pathos and ho-ho comedy as only G&S could do (or were paid to do).

[perrymason]

Its a fun question.

I would imagine this is Fall 1888? I think first Id go directly to the patent office and patent something Id call a microchip....then Id sneak into London Hospital and help Joseph Merrick to lie down flat to go to sleep, ...then Id write some letters to Scotland Yard and copy Central News telling them that I know "Jack" didnt write no letters signed "Ripper" about the Double Event...then I would attend each site in hiding, with a hired hand probably, and try to jump the guy before he works....hopefully that would just Bucks Row, if I stop him....then I would place a bet that the 1919 World Series of Baseball in America would be fixed, my retirement fund....then Id write the very first book on how Jack got caught, make a few bucks touring showing his knife to all the curious...then, I think to Braunau am Inn in Germany, where it borders Austria, and wait until April 20th,1889, Easter Sunday.... then go to Salzberger Vorstadt 219, grab the baby that is born, and take him to Bali to be raised by natives speaking no English. Ill tell them his name is Rudolf.

Best regards all.

[Pippin Joan]

good deed, bad deed

Perhaps I could do something in reverse-Ruddigore style, since G&S has come up. I could do my good deed by lurking around Buck's Row to bean old Jack when he creeps up on Mary Ann Nichols and turn him in to the police. The immense bad deed would be that this website would disappear and we'd be stuck following some far less interesting serial killer. After my elimination of Jack, I'd have a merry time in London, look up all those people I wish I had met, trade quips with Wilde and Shaw, and toddle up to Manchester to give my little grandmother a nice big present. I'd find my great grandfather on my mother's side and warn him that when he emigrates to New Jersey to boil the water. He died of typhoid fever at 23.

[Mutt]

I've never been to London, so the East End in 1888 might be... nice. I guess I could bring back an early 1880's Derringer, loan it to one of a few special prostitutes and let ole Jacky boy get his due.

[Leatherface]

I would see the Mansfield production of "Jeckyl and Hyde". Armand Asante aside, I have always wondered if it was any good.

R

[Bailey]

The problem with doing anything to stop Jack (or Hitler) is the ol' time travel paradox that if you did, then when you got back to here, they'd have never happened and so you wouldn't know you wanted to go back and stop them and so then they would happen, and... and... and... bollocks. Just send me back with my camera.

B.

[Scotland Yard]

To hell with the grandfather paradox...what's the point of a scifi fantasy if yuo get caught up in endless highly tedious causality problems? I would simply travel back in time in my special causality-free time travel inducer, then post Abberline a copy of Philip Sugden's 'Complete Jack The Ripper' days before the first murder and return to the present day to see what he made of it.

[Mike Covell]

I would open a "Mike-Donalds" on every street corner, and maybe a "Mike-Bucks" and a "Hard-Mike-Cafe"

Once the beverage side of things is running ok, I would invent a steam driven computer, and open a business called "Mike-rosoft"

I would take a few unfortunates off the streets and give them luxeries, rename them, "Britney", "Madonna", and "X-Tina" and take them on tour of the music halls. Perhaps launch the career of "Elvis Issenchmid Presley" and "Michael Issaacs Jackson" too!!

Then I would rest, maybe invite Robert D'Onston Stephenson, Montague John Druitt and Francis Tumblety around for a game of "Operation" O'Most Sapient Conclusion!!