escape committe

[GUT]

Dear Col. GUT,

Bloody hell! Fifty-seven heavily encrypted Pueblo Indians worked their fingers to the bone training carrier pigeons to speak some archaic rubbish so they can flap about in the attempt to let you know that I've been WAITING here in bloody FRANCE for the entire bloody WAR in an onion cellar with five fit of weer wropped 'round my log and I'm jolly well fed up.

Assuming you've been nabbed by some Gerries or delayed by the Seppos , I once more release the pigeons, hopefully to inform you that I smell like root vegetables, the scones are a peculiar shape, and everyone interesting's gone home ages ago, except for some slimy Frog in a striped shirt who keeps trying to entice me to dance by slapping my face and dragging me about by the hair dressed in nothing but a beret and a slightly soiled tablerunner.

I dare you, sir - I DARE you - to utter the words "we'll always have Paris". Assuming you've tunneled your way into several humid Scandanavians by now, and have completely forgotten our original mission, I am sending the Indians home, eating the rest of the pigeons and catching the next steamer to Sydney.

-- Sincerely,

White Moose

Scandabloodynavia!!!

I'm not even to "the rock" yet.

With hindsight I should have walked to WA and then started digging, but that's not what Herr General and Winny teld me to get to doning.

[GUT]

Can't blame you for wanting to come to Aus, but bloody hell Sydney!!!!

[Ausgirl]

Dear Col. GUT,

Bloody hell! Fifty-seven heavily encrypted Pueblo Indians worked their fingers to the bone training carrier pigeons to speak some archaic rubbish so they can flap about in the attempt to let you know that I've been WAITING here in bloody FRANCE for the entire bloody WAR in an onion cellar with five fit of weer wropped 'round my log and I'm jolly well fed up.

Assuming you've not yet been nabbed by some Gerries or delayed by the Seppos , I once more release the pigeons, hopefully to inform you that I smell like root vegetables, the scones are a peculiar shape, and everyone interesting's gone home ages ago, except for some slimy Frog in a striped shirt who keeps trying to entice me to dance by slapping my face and dragging me about by the hair dressed in nothing but a beret and a slightly soiled tablerunner.

I dare you, sir - I DARE you - to utter the words "we'll always have Paris". Assuming you've tunneled your way into several humid Scandanavians by now, and have completely forgotten our original mission, I am sending the Indians home, eating the rest of the pigeons and catching the next steamer to Sydney.

-- Sincerely,

White Moose

[GUT]

I just done a thunk?

Why not all chip in and buy Pinky a ticket to the flicks to see "How to train a dragn".

He might pick up a few pointers.

[GUT]

Cissie, Dolly and I are so sorry you're still holed up in Stalag in spite of all our efforts to try and help you escape. As it's a New Year now maybe we can all manage it before next Christmas.

I've told GUT about your plan to send the snow shovels. I think it cheered him up.

Chin up, Sir. We're all rooting for you.

"Rooting" has a totally different meaning here

[Amanda]

What a weekend... snowed in again....lost power...but fear not.. I'll still get all the items on the lost ladies.. or most and the ones I can't get I'll find a nice substitute.

And Amanda.. now that’s not nice…. I know you are upset but I’ll make it up….anything you want me to get for you on my next trip…..perhaps a beret?

Steadmund Brand

Ahh Steadmund,

I have a perfectly good wool beret already thank you, circa 1944. However, I am still waiting for those quilted toilet rolls!

Perhaps it would be a fitting gesture to send Pinkmoon some fireworks to scare the Dragon? He's been mighty quiet regarding his escape plans.

General A

[Steadmund Brand]

What a weekend... snowed in again....lost power...but fear not.. I'll still get all the items on the lost ladies.. or most and the ones I can't get I'll find a nice substitute.

And Amanda.. now that’s not nice…. I know you are upset but I’ll make it up….anything you want me to get for you on my next trip…..perhaps a beret?

Steadmund Brand

[Amanda]

Calling General Amanda
Calling General Amanda
Are you receiving me?
Over.

How are you, Madam? The girls and I were worried about you. Glad to know you are back in circulation again.

It's been very quiet here over Christmas and New Year. Haven't seen the Bosch since Christmas Eve. Pinkmoon has been keeping low due to the Dragon being unusually difficult, even for Her. He has come up with an idea to do with toilet rolls but it is in the earlier stages of planning just now.

We're hoping to get a supply of toilet paper ourselves on Sunday. Corporal Steadmund is so kind to us and doesn't expect anything in return. I know, it is unbelieveable, isn't it, but it's true. Pardon, Cissie? What do you mean, I must have been born yesterday?

Reporting for duty as requested Carol,

Thank you (and the girls) for your concern, I was out of action for a while there but back to normal service now.
Must say I'm looking forward to seeing what Pinkmoon is going to do with all those toilet rolls, the mind boggles...

Steadmund kind? Really? Have you never heard of the wolf in sheep's clothing?
He'll shower you with gifts, steal your garters and then swan off to woo the Resistance girls in Paris!

Will be in touch soon, need to spend tonight drawing up a map of tunnels as I'm convinced Gut is digging in the wrong direction.
General

[Steadmund Brand]

Bobby, dear. Thank you for your thoughtfulness but Cissie and Dolly both say they would prefer someone a bit taller.

Remember ladies i'm 6 feet 5 inches tall (or 195.58 cm if you prefer)

Steadmund Brand

[Robert]

And here he is :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvNh40ZIRa0

[Robert]

Ok, I'll send George Formby over with his little stick of rock.

[Carol]

Thanks Carol. I shall send Arthur Askey over to entertain you all.

Bobby, dear. Thank you for your thoughtfulness but Cissie and Dolly both say they would prefer someone a bit taller.

[Robert]

Thanks Carol. I shall send Arthur Askey over to entertain you all.

[Carol]

Dragons been playing up big time I'm afraid to report

Cissie, Dolly and I are so sorry you're still holed up in Stalag in spite of all our efforts to try and help you escape. As it's a New Year now maybe we can all manage it before next Christmas.

I've told GUT about your plan to send the snow shovels. I think it cheered him up.

Chin up, Sir. We're all rooting for you.

[Carol]

Calling Southern Star.
Calling Southern Star.
Are you receiving me?
Over.

Hello there, GUT, old chap. How are you getting on? Pinkmoon asked me to find out what is holding you up. He expected to see you back in December. I told him he can't expect you to be any quicker with the digging equipment you've been supplied with. So he's managed to get through to Winston and has arranged for a dozen of those large snow shovels to be dropped down on top of Ayres Rock. Winston thinks they should be safe there until you can collect them. Pinkmoon thinks this will expedite matters (his words, not mine). I told him as we don't actually know just WHERE in Australia you are digging from it might be somewhat difficult for you to get to Ayres Rock. He said he couldn't be expected to think of everything.

Well, old man, that's about all my news for the moment. The General said she doesn't think much of Winston's plan (but keep that schtum, won't you). She says she's got a much better idea and is putting you and your problem on the top of her 'Things to do' list.

Looking forward to hearing from you. Cissie and Dolly say to give you their love and that they are looking forward to meeting you.

Over and out.