Customer Service

[Fleetwood Mac]

Sick to the back teeth of customer service.

Just called the bank to change my address. Gave 'em my details and all I wanted in return was: "that's done, cheers mate, see yer" before putting the phone down. Instead you're blitzed with a thousand questions such as: "any change to you telephone number?"; "if you change your credit card within the next two months then do you mind if we send the details to your nearest branch?" (I don't even have a credit card by the way); "is there anything else we can help you with Mr Young?".

These people boil my piss. I feel like finding this call centre and strangling the lot of 'em.

How did all of this come about anyway? The idea that you have to ask a million questions and say: "have a wonderful day" for your work to be construed to be customer service? Good customer service to me is: "right, done, cheers, see yer mate" instead of keeping me on the phone with inane nonsense when I have other things to do.

Is this an English thing, or are the rest of the world sick of these people expending more words in saying absolutely nothing than ever thought possible, or is it just me?

[Robert]

Did they ask you to take a questionnaire afterwards?

[lynn cates]

"Och, lassie."

Hello Mac. I sympathise. Consider yourself fortunate that you didn't receive a sales pitch for some useless service.

By the way, there is a REAL conversation stopper when the other party asks, "Is there anything else I can do for you?" Just leer a bit and say, "Well, what did you have in mind?" Works every time.

Cheers.
LC

[RivkahChaya]

My favorite is calling the cable company because the internet isn't working, being told I have a 15 minute wait, and if I want faster service, I can go to their website. Usually, the 15 minute wait is because they are experiencing an "unusual volume of calls." No kidding? not just me, then.

Believe me, I never call if I can use the computer.

ETA: OK, yeah "the internet isn't working" sounds funny, but you know what I mean. And if you do things differently across the pond, it's pretty common here to get broadband service and cable TV from the same company.

[Cogidubnus]

You want bad customer service? Live in the UK and get your gas and electricity from SSE (Scottish and Southern Electricity)...

Over Christmas my power was off from just after midday on Christmas Eve until late on the 27th December...We lost our Wedding Anniversary party and Christmas too...and lived in freezing conditions...plus we lost £175 worth of food...ok it wasn't initially their fault, but in front of a panel of MPs they subsequently promised they'd most promptly compensate all their customers who'd suffered.

My claim went in almost as soon as power was restored on 27th December...I simply can't afford to lose that much food...their website says they'll generally settle within ten days...I've chased the claim twice, and apart from automated responses I've heard nothing, zilch, chuff all...that's three months a pensionable couple went, after losing food and heat?

I separately contacted my insurance company to set up a provisional claim for the food - they say they need a letter from the power company confirming my power was down over the period concerned - what chance I'll ever get that? Risible...I've heard nothing after two chasers...

SSE say they're a caring company and are prepared to freeze electricity prices for the next couple of years...I say this is a cheap publicity stunt...prices are due to fall anyway - and any truly caring firm would've hired in agency workers and trained them up by now to tackle any back-issues...SSE are actually non-caring arseholes to whom nothing at all matters except the bottom line...after three months I'm finally ANGRY...I say break them up...

I suggest you judge customer care by THESE standards

All the best

Dave

[Fleetwood Mac]

Did they ask you to take a questionnaire afterwards?

No, which is just as well, as I'd have reached through the phone and dragged his neck into my home. From there, I'd have done what needed to be done and pleaded insanity at the impending trial. From there, I'd have sat in my jail cell contemplating the rest of my life sat behind bars, but, ultimately, I'd have congratulated myself on a job well done.

[Fleetwood Mac]

You want bad customer service? Live in the UK and get your gas and electricity from SSE (Scottish and Southern Electricity)...

At the last place I was living EDF Energy supplied the electricity. I think I'm right in saying that these people are legally obligated to take a meter reading twice a year. I never saw sight nor sound of 'em for years.

Got a call yesterday from some debt collection agency and some woman on the phone in best debt collection/fire eater voice: "this is x, call us or you will die". I'm listening to this thinking Christ these people truly are monumental idiots.

So, I called them today and explained that everything was fully paid up and do me a favour: don't call me with threats, and by the way, did I say you could have my number?

After much stuttering and stammering the woman said you owe 300 quid. So I called EDF and explained that the company had sent me a final bill and I'd paid it.

The woman on the other end of the line looked into the account and acknowledged the payment, but what she said next left me stunned - they surpassed their levels of lunacy and chaos and I just wasn't prepared for this at all. She said that the meter reading had started going backwards and this caused an automatic bill to be sent out for units used, and I was left scratching my head thinking meter reading going backwards? but gathered myself and said: well, it doesn't matter because I left there on the 4th January and the meter was definitely going forwards and I have the bills to prove it, so what happened after this time is nothing to do with me.

Then she said: thanks Mr Young but we can't locate the serial number of the meter at the property and we've looked in the national database and it doesn't exist. At this point I'd had enough, and said: look, you people need to shape up. And just put the phone down.

This world is in such a mess it beggars belief: people spending an hour on the phone discussing meters that don't exist, meters that have started going backwards, and ending it all with: "have a wonderful day".

[Fleetwood Mac]

Hello Mac. I sympathise. Consider yourself fortunate that you didn't receive a sales pitch for some useless service.

By the way, there is a REAL conversation stopper when the other party asks, "Is there anything else I can do for you?" Just leer a bit and say, "Well, what did you have in mind?" Works every time.

Cheers.
LC

Good work, Lynn, this is the sort of patience with matter I need to employ.

[Fleetwood Mac]

My favorite is calling the cable company because the internet isn't working, being told I have a 15 minute wait, and if I want faster service, I can go to their website. Usually, the 15 minute wait is because they are experiencing an "unusual volume of calls." No kidding? not just me, then.

Believe me, I never call if I can use the computer.

ETA: OK, yeah "the internet isn't working" sounds funny, but you know what I mean. And if you do things differently across the pond, it's pretty common here to get broadband service and cable TV from the same company.

Same here, Rivkah, but perhaps not wise as they monopolise your home and it's only a short step to going home one day after work and finding them sat on your couch, drinking your tea and eating your biscuits.

Perhaps I'm paranoid but I'm convinced they're hell bent on owning my mind, and all this talk of meters going backwards is a rouse to unsettle me over a course of time and under the duress of a long period of confusion they're counting on me to submit their design.

[RivkahChaya]

In spite of the fact that we have anti-trust legislation that is supposed to prevent it, there is often no other choice.

I mean, no one is actually stopping competition, but the market won't bear it.

[Robert]

One possible way of dealing with the energy people is to use the energy ombudsman.

[c.d.]

I recently bought a new computer and made an appointment to have somebody come out and set it up. I specifically told the person who set up and confirmed the appointment what I needed to have done. I was told the computer tech would take care of all those things. The appointment was on a Saturday and I was told that the tech would be there sometime between noon and 4:00. Of course you have to be ready to have them show at noon. Finally at 4:30 two guys show up who looked like they sold crack cocaine on the side. I kept wondering why they sent two guys and figured maybe one was new and being trained. They kept looking all around my apartment with a real puzzled look on their faces and were looking at the new computer like they had never seen one before. I was then asked what I needed them to do which I thought was strange. Didn't they have a work order? I explained all that I needed to have done to get the computer up and running. They responded by saying "you need a computer tech to do that." I said "well what are you guys?" They said they set up home theater systems. So it was a no go and wasted the whole damn day.

The company never got back to me to apologize or try to make things right.

c.d.

[c.d.]

To follow up on the story, I finally got the computer set up but had (and still have) a problem with losing my internet connection. I called the internet provider and got a recorded message -- press 2, press 1, answer yes, press 3, etc. etc. until I thought I was going to shoot myself. They outsource their customer service to India (becoming more and more common) and so I had to tell my problem to a rep who had a very strong Indian accent and whom I could barely understand. What a nightmare.

c.d.

[kensei]

Equally annoying is having customer service forced upon you when you don't want it. I just visited a small hardware store to look for a little bolt that I needed for a small home repair. This place is apparently not into just letting people browse, as I prefer to do because- ok, I admit it, I guess I am just not a big people person and prefer to ask for help if and only if I need it. Immediately upon entering I was met with "Hello! How can we help you today?" and when I told them what I needed they directed me to Aisle 9, and as I headed toward it I heard them say into a PA behind me, "Assistance needed in Aisle 9." Which made me internally go, "Grrrrrrr, no! I don't need assistance! First of all I could have found Aisle 9 myself because they all have signs indicating what is in them, and secondly I am fully capable of looking through all those little drawers to find the right bolt I need!" I know it's a petty complaint, but it happens every time I go in there for anything.

[Beowulf]

I agree with all these complaints. There was a time back a few years ago where I had to get on the phone and talk to someone about problems with my computer, and of course you get the usual guy with an Indian accent whom you can't understand who is directing you through a complicated list of internet commands you have to do and none of them work, of course and some of them you don't know what he said, asking him to repeat over and over and eventually it gets him angry.

This commercial was played over here a few years ago, I don't know if you got it over there, but it is sure is fitting on this column:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8L2cI8brzQ