Minister Apologizes for Praying at Interfaith Service Following School Shootings

[RivkahChaya]

Why can't the strategy be to help her change things so that she doesn't get treated like garbage again?

Because we weren't talking about long term strategies, we were talking about what to say immediately when someone is crying, particularly when we don't know the background, or don't even know the woman that well. She may be very demanding, and her boyfriend may have finally given up on trying to please, her, for all we know, and yes, that did happen to me once, when I went to get my coat at a party, and found someone I did not know well crying. I gave her a ride home, because as she told it, her boyfriend had just dumped her and left her stranded; months later, I found out there was a lot more to the story, and it boiled down to her giving him some kind of ultimatum about their leaving when she wanted to leave, not when he wanted to leave, and she knew lots of people there, and surely would have found a ride home. And anyway, the city has cabs.

I've had people sleep on my couch for several weeks, after leaving an abusive relationship, and I've had people come over to my place and just sit, or play my Nintendo, or something, not to be alone, just after they got out of rehab, but I've also known people who kept tying their own nooses.

[RivkahChaya]

FWIW, I don't pray, other than during synagogue services, but I always say my brachot (blessings). That means, if I'm about to do something that might be an act of charity, or helpful to someone else in some way, there's generally a standard Jewish bracha for it, and I always say it. I don't know if it helps in a cosmic way, but it helps me.

[The Good Michael]

I don't know if it helps in a cosmic way, but it helps me.

Exactly. It helps the person saying a prayer, but there is no physical response. There is delusional response, but how does that help victims? Rhetorical question.

Mike

[Ginger]

If a bunch of people wanted to pray for me in a huge service to deliver me from the pain of my depression, I'd feel good about that. It will never happen, but if it did, I'd would feel... not so alone I guess.

I can't organize a huge service, but I'll certainly pray for you.