Hieronymous Bosch was Jack The Ripper!

[Sally]

I used to believe that LEONARDO DA VINCI was Jack the Ripper, due to his unfailing ability to be the father of all famous unsolved and invented mysteries.

I was even prepared to accept that perhaps he had posed as VINCENT VAN GOGH in the 19th century by cleverly using old parts to build himself a time machine, which he lost to H G Wells in a game of poker.

Yet recently I have discovered the existence of HIERONYMOUS BOSCH. And I see that I was wrong, because there is, there can be NO DOUBT.

HIERONYMOUSE BOSCH WAS JACK THE RIPPER!



It may not be obvious at first - but, look closely. I believe that the huge face with the long nose to the left may actually conceal a representation of a KNIFE! (or even a dagger..)

And in the bottom left hand corner - Its hard to make out, but could that be the face of MARY KELLY???

I know its early days yet, but already I'm thinking Movie Rights...

[Harry the Hawker]

Omg!

Case closed!

[Robert]

Of course! A brilliant stroke by the murderer, who commits the crimes and then sends a "Dear Bosch" letter to himself, thus simultaneously injecting himself into the case and clearing himself.

[Sally]

Ear Ear...

Of course! A brilliant stroke by the murderer, who commits the crimes and then sends a "Dear Bosch" letter to himself, thus simultaneously injecting himself into the case and clearing himself.

Of Course!

The next job I do I shall clip the ladys ears off and send to the police officers just for jolly wouldn't you

Could it be? Are those EARS in the painting???

It's got to be him!

[Robert]

But what about the red bagpipes?

[Sally]

Those are bagpipes? Hmm...

Are you sure those are bagpipes? They look a bit internal to me. Organish.

[Robert]

I was hoping you wouldn't say that.

[Sally]

And who are all those people dancing round the 'red bagpipes'?

Maybe they're going to the Lord Mayor's Show?

[Robert]

Perhaps this isn't about JTR at all, and we have misunderstood Bosch's incredible vision. This could actually be about Barbara Streisand.

Consider : the flat disc represents one of Streisand's albums. The people on the disc are being punished for some terrible sin. They are forced to listen to the songs, while the knife between the ears eloquently sums up the effects of Streisand's vocals.

I have seldom if ever seen torture so graphically depicted.

[Sally]

Hmm.

Robert, I think you have a viable alternative theory here. I do wonder however, how Bosch (Or should we be calling him 'Boss'??) knew of Striesand. I could accept Barry Manilow, on the other hand, who would fit all the same criteria and as we know, also had the Bermuda Triangle at his disposal.

What do you think?

[ChrisGeorge]

Of Course!



Could it be? Are those EARS in the painting???

It's got to be him!

Actually it's just a statement of EAR EAR to the theory that Hieronymous Bosch was Jack the Ripper.

We think we have heard everything. But once more we need to think again.

[Sally]

I think its worth pointing out that 'Hieronymous Bosch' is almost an anagram of 'CRIME BOSS HO HO'.

Its all adding up. But to what?

That's the question.

[Robert]

Sally, Chris

Scientists tell us that if something travels faster than the speed of light, it will travel backwards in time. Now, TV signals carrying Streisand's voice have been shooting off into space for a good 40 years now. Imagine a (highly advanced) civilisation inhabiting a planet which is orbiting a relatively nearby star. If such a civilisation receives the Streisand TV signals it will conclude, quite understandably, that it is under attack. If that civilisation sends the signals back whence they came, but at super-light speed, the signals might reach the earth at the time of Bosch. If the alien civilisation were to send receiving equipment back into the past, to make sure that the signals really hit home....well, you can see the effect on poor Bosch.

[Sally]

That's a brilliant solution to this ancient mystery, Robert. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder it the mysterious object in the foreground could be a satellite dish?

I suppose this means that Crime Boss Ho Ho might not be Jack the Ripper after all?

How about Salvador Dali then? Maybe he'd do?

[Robert]

Intriguing thought, Sally. Here, Dali shows us how the mutilations could have been performed with the victims' cooperation :

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&biw=987&bih=572&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=bKP7zmCUdN2CJM:&imgrefurl=http://lisapriceinc.blogspot.com/2011/05/happy-birthday-dali.html&docid=XpscPUpVQ2BKkM&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xB1bTNvhpcM/TcwMqd9kGeI/AAAAAAAAAYA/M-K2rLtzGNA/s1600/salvador-dali-desk.jpg&w=546&h=433&ei=UjlbT6KUIqjX0QXBhMT3BQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=78&sig=101167072566510541632&page=2&tbnh=122&tbnw=156&start=20&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:20&tx=72&ty=69

There is also Dali's famous blank canvas entitled "Only an ultraviolet."