What Life Has Taught Me!

[Bob Hinton]

I would like to start a thread to list all those things that you have learned not at your parents’ knee or from a book, but from life itself. I’ll start the ball rolling.

One thing life has taught me is when slicing a bagel don’t put your thumb through the hole to steady it!

Over to you!

[Autolycus]

The Ultimate Question

Hi Bob,

Life has taught me this.

No matter when or where it is asked, the answer to the question, "Does my bum look big in this?" is always "No."

I'm sure somebody with something more profound will be along shortly.

Regards,
Autolycus.

[c.d.]

Women don't like it when you leave the toilet seat up.

c.d.

[c.d.]

I would like to start a thread to list all those things that you have learned not at your parents’ knee or from a book, but from life itself. I’ll start the ball rolling.

One thing life has taught me is when slicing a bagel don’t put your thumb through the hole to steady it!

Over to you!

I have read that emergency rooms always get some business on Sunday mornings from people who cut themselves severely while attempting to cut a bagel.

c.d.

[Robert]

1. Whenever you think how grown-up and wise you have become, and whatever age you are, think : ten or twenty years from now I will look back at myself and see I was still just an idiot.

2. It is impossible to eat cake without putting crumbs everywhere.

[caz]

Life has taught me always to expect the unexpected - such as naked vicars falling onto ketchup bottles while adjusting their curtain tracks.

Love,

Caz
X

[Bob Hinton]

Oh really...

Life has taught me always to expect the unexpected - such as naked vicars falling onto ketchup bottles while adjusting their curtain tracks.

Love,

Caz
X

I'm sorry we can't let this go - details please and photographs if possible!

[caz]

Tried that, Bob, but the A&E department wouldn't oblige. Too busy trying to extract ketchup bottles apparently - excuses, excuses.

[caz]

http://failblog.org/2008/12/01/vicar-fail/

Here we are - well it's a similar story anyway. May even have a grain of truth in it. Along with the potato.

[Adam Went]

On a Saturday night, never, ever think "Why yes, I think it'd be a marvellous idea to ride in the shopping trolley down this extremely steep hill to cut some distance off my walk."

Cheers,
Adam.

[The Grave Maurice]

Love this thread.

Actually, the only thing I've learned from life is that if people say: "Let me be perfectly honest...." invariably, they aren't.

[Bob Hinton]

Lessons

These are just the sort of thing I meant. Keep them coming!

[Carol]

I'm really enjoying this thread! Here's a few of my own experiences of life:

Never stand in the sea up to your chest while facing inland on a very windy day.

Do not assume that you can stop/alight from a bicycle as gracefully as when you were young after a 30 year break.

Do not have a fit of the giggles when your husband presents you with a pot of Gerberas. He will be hurt.

Love
Carol

[The Good Michael]

Culture is usually used as an excuse for doing something stupid, sexist, racist, or ill-mannered. It is also used by apologists for others because it's easier than thinking.

Mike

[c.d.]

Most women do not like having their breasts referred to as hooters.

c.d.