Cricket, lovely cricket

[Steven Russell]

Agreed. They played him for a chump and he was by far the lowest paid (£2,500). Still, it's good that the others were punished, not to mention the vilification their exposure has brought. Perhaps we should compose a cheaters XI. WG would captain, of course, with Hansie Cronje vice-skipper.

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Adam Went]

Saleem Malik could fit in the top order too, Steven.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

I take apologies in the form of $50 notes, gents.

A while ago I stated that Patrick Cummins would be the next bright star in the Australian cricket team, and so it shall be - he is making his national debut tomorrow in a T20 match against South Africa.

Behold, my Pommy friends, the bloke who will be giving you and your batsmen nightmares for the next 15 years:

http://www.espncricinfo.com/australia/content/player/489889.html

Cheers,
Adam.

Australia 47 all out.

Nightmares Adam? More like pi$$ing myself laughing.

Monty

[Steven Russell]

I see Shane "Sinatra" Warne is making a comeback in the Big Bash. It took a good Pommy lass to prove to him that there's life in the old dog yet.

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

A few things:

- Pat Cummins isn't playing in this match
- We did bowl SA out for 96 before being knocked over for 47, clearly the bowling conditions were better than great
- We were 9 for 21 at one stage, 47 is a respectable score considering that
- The UN just got their arses handed to them by India in the ODI series, much to my enjoyment.
- The UN not so long ago got bowled out for 51, did they not? And wasn't that against....the West Indies? One of the lowest ranked teams?

And finally, and most importantly, we all know that you're just jealous that you genetic heritage doesn't allow you to partake in awesome Australianisms.

Steven:

First Big Bash, then Test cricket in Pomgolia in 2013, just you wait.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

47 all out Adam,

Only you could make 47 all out a decent score, after comparing it to the 21 for 9.

This now means Australia have now been bowled out for under a 100 3 times in the last 12 tests, over a period of these past 16 months. So no, its not a 'condition' thing.

Its a 'unable to bat' thing.

Clarke labelled it 'embarassing'. I agree.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Clarke made 150 in the first innings, so it's not an "unable to bat" thing, though I certainly can't deny that it is an embarrassing performance - a lowest score for more than a century is always going to be that. BUT given that we bowled SA out for 96 as well, as I said, in their home conditions, I think there must have been something pretty major happening with the ball during the second day of the Test (and I can't say what as I didn't see it, the cricket is on in the middle of the night Australian time.)

I was actually coming on to this thread yesterday for a "Before you two say anything...." post, but you were onto it quicker than you'd be onto a triple-layered cream cake.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

You're Australian Adam,

Of course I'm going to beat you to everything, you should be use to that by now.

Yes, SA rolled over for 96 but that wicket was a flat one when we bowled on it last. However, its happened a fair few times, including the Boxing Day test where we destroyed you, so its not as if its not happened a few times these past 18 months.

Its not got unnoted by us, there is something wrong with the way the Australian team bats under pressure.

For me it starts with Watson. I concede he can bat, however its natural. That's great but he needs to learn how to construct his innings for the team. He doesn't. Its he that sets the tempo. And if he fails the 3, 4 and 5 step up. They aren't.

At this moment in time we smell blood, if we played now a 5-0 is on the cards.

Your boys are letting you down Adam, tell them to buck their ideas up.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Its not got unnoted by us, there is something wrong with the way the Australian team bats under pressure.

But that's the thing, there was NO pressure. Having made 284 in the first dig, we were more or less 200 runs up in the first innings, on just the 2nd day of the match. That is just about the definition of no pressure. Clearly you don't know what you're on about.

I disagree with some of what you say about Watson. There's no doubt that he's a great player - you don't get to be the reigning Allan Border medallist for nothing - and great to watch when in full flight. BUT his technique can be very suspect when the ball is doing a bit, and I think that comes back to the fact that he spent his younger days batting in the middle and lower middle order at all levels of cricket, because he's an all-rounder, used to coming in when the ball is older and not doing a lot. The openers spot is still a relatively new one on him and when you're opening the batting, you've got to have a good technique to see off the new ball.

Having said all of that, once in a lifetime things always seem to happen to us against South Africa. Like the ODI a few years back when we made 430 odd, a world record, and still got beaten.

I suspect we'll come back with a much stronger performance in the 2nd test.

As for you, i'd recommend taking care of your own backyard before trying to take care of ours as well, your team isn't exactly storming forward at the moment either.

Your boys are letting you down Adam, tell them to buck their ideas up.

No worries, i'll get on the dog and bone to Clarkey right now.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

We are the No1 test team in the World, and the World T20 champions, we have beaten you in the last two Ashes series, and soundly beaten you in your back yard last time around.

Our yard is spanking mate. Grass cut, fence painted. You need to start clearing that old sofa out of yours called Pointing and neuter that yapping bitch called pup Clarke....then you may get there.

For some inexplicable reason you think 200 odd is acceptable. Try 500, 600, 700 first time around. A mere 284 is nothing. A 284 means you know you're gonna have to bat again and therefore, numbnut, it puts pressure on you bats knowing the job isn't even half done.

I don't give a fly feck if Watson has won a badge for the 200 meters breast stroke Adam. He is, and sit down cos this will come as a shock to you, not the best opener Australian have had. He isn't the worlds best opener either, no way feckin near. He hits 50 the pow, gone. He certainly wouldn't creep into the England team but then again, at this moment in time, no Australian would. They are too average. Watson simply is too simple and one dimensional. Only certain conditions suit him and they are few.

Now if Clarke is your only hope you'd better start praying to Jesus and asking him if his Dad has any Aussie blood in him, however I doubt it. Seeing as God is an Englishman an all.

Monty


47 all out.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Ponting has already said he'll be in England in 2013, so you just better get used to it. We know you're still scared of him. And you haven't got Harmlesson in your team anymore so there's not much in your bowling attack to fear. Swann is more like the ugly duckling.

I don't give a fly feck if Watson has won a badge for the 200 meters breast stroke Adam. He is, and sit down cos this will come as a shock to you, not the best opener Australian have had. He isn't the worlds best opener either, no way feckin near. He hits 50 the pow, gone. He certainly wouldn't creep into the England team but then again, at this moment in time, no Australian would. They are too average. Watson simply is too simple and one dimensional. Only certain conditions suit him and they are few.

I'd rather watch Watson make 50 in his style than Alastair Cook make 250 in his style - I maintain that he has the worst technique I have ever seen in an opening batsman. He should be thankful for Shiv Chanderpaul or that would be a batsman full stop.

I never said he was our best opening batsman, you imbecile. Who do you think is? Phil Hughes?
Everybody knows that Matthew Hayden is/was the man.

By the way, Watson did take 5 for in the first dig as well - the benefit of being an all-rounder. When was the last time Cook or Strauss took 5 for in a test match?

Now if Clarke is your only hope you'd better start praying to Jesus and asking him if his Dad has any Aussie blood in him, however I doubt it. Seeing as God is an Englishman an all.

I've already announced that I am available for Test selection, to open the batting if necessary. What more can I do, Monty?

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Monty:

Ponting has already said he'll be in England in 2013, so you just better get used to it. We know you're still scared of him. And you haven't got Harmlesson in your team anymore so there's not much in your bowling attack to fear. Swann is more like the ugly duckling.

I don't give a fly feck if Watson has won a badge for the 200 meters breast stroke Adam. He is, and sit down cos this will come as a shock to you, not the best opener Australian have had. He isn't the worlds best opener either, no way feckin near. He hits 50 the pow, gone. He certainly wouldn't creep into the England team but then again, at this moment in time, no Australian would. They are too average. Watson simply is too simple and one dimensional. Only certain conditions suit him and they are few.

I'd rather watch Watson make 50 in his style than Alastair Cook make 250 in his style - I maintain that he has the worst technique I have ever seen in an opening batsman. He should be thankful for Shiv Chanderpaul or that would be a batsman full stop.

I never said he was our best opening batsman, you imbecile. Who do you think is? Phil Hughes?
Everybody knows that Matthew Hayden is/was the man.

By the way, Watson did take 5 for in the first dig as well - the benefit of being an all-rounder. When was the last time Cook or Strauss took 5 for in a test match?

Now if Clarke is your only hope you'd better start praying to Jesus and asking him if his Dad has any Aussie blood in him, however I doubt it. Seeing as God is an Englishman an all.

I've already announced that I am available for Test selection, to open the batting if necessary. What more can I do, Monty?

Cheers,
Adam.

Heh heh, such bravardo. The bravardo of a man who knows his team hasn't got what it takes but is too proud to admit it.

If your hopes are pinned on a 104 year old has been then your delusions are more imbedded than I thought.

You'd sooner see a Guy get 50 rather than 298? Cook and scored a double ton (nearly 300) a couple of times these past 12 months as well as a fair few hundreds. You don't get monster scores like that with crap techinique.

As for our attack, we both know its the best in the world. Remember Boxing day 2010? Or were you one of the thousands who walk out of the ground, or millions who turned off the TV, when we ripped you out for less that a 100?

Monty

[Steven Russell]

Adam: "It's not how you make the runs, it's how many you make." - Geoff Boycott (a proper crickiter).

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Who's the 104 year old you refer to? Ponting, Hayden, Warne? You don't find yourself amongst the leading run scorers in Test cricket of all time unless you're a pretty good player. Write any of them off at your peril.

You'd sooner see a Guy get 50 rather than 298? Cook and scored a double ton (nearly 300) a couple of times these past 12 months as well as a fair few hundreds. You don't get monster scores like that with crap techinique.

I've got no idea what you just said. I don't speak the language of grammatically incorrect drivel.

As for our attack, we both know its the best in the world. Remember Boxing day 2010? Or were you one of the thousands who walk out of the ground, or millions who turned off the TV, when we ripped you out for less that a 100?

I've erased it from my memory. However, I DO recall Boxing Day 2006. Do you?

And your attack is mediocre at best. In fact, your whole team is mediocre. At the moment they've had a bit of luck and are punching above their weight but it won't be long before they are found out and returned to their rightful place as the laughing stock of international cricket.

Steven:

That might have been true 50 years ago, but in 2011 it is all about aggression and taking the game head on. Nobody is interested in watching a team make 500 at 2 per over as they did back in Boycott's day.

On a more serious note, RIP Peter Roebuck....had enjoyed his many excellent contributions to the game over the years.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Adam Went]

Pat Cummins makes his Test debut. Tremble with fear, ye who do not support the mighty! Turned the TV on last night and the first thing I saw was him beat Jacques Kallis outside off stump with a jaffa. Decent effort. Then his first wicket was Hashim Amla. Not a bad first scalp.

Cheers,
Adam.