Cricket, lovely cricket

[Monty]

Australia 1st Innings - All out
*
Watson c Pietersen b Tremlett 5
Hughes c Pietersen b Bresnan 16
Ponting c Swann b Tremlett 10
Clarke c Prior b Anderson 20
Hussey c Prior b Anderson 8
Smith c Prior b Anderson 6
Haddin c Strauss b Bresnan 5
Johnson c Prior b Anderson 0
Harris not out. 10
Siddle c Prior b Tremlett 1
Hilfenhaus c Prior b Tremlett 0

Extras
*
5nb 2lb7
*
Total
*
all out 98

England 157 without loss.

The scorecard says it all. No need for me to eplain the fact that 98 all out is dire. Worst Aussie innings at Sydney since 1870s.

You mouthed off about Aussie dominance, oh my, you look stupid again. Your team were slaughted today. All you bats back in the hutch, shivering with trauma and fear, by the afternoon. Then the English bats destroy your bowling, where's your Johnson now?

Your team was taught a lesson today by the big boys. You're right, long way to go, and it will be interesting to see how you get yourselves out of this woeful mess you are in. Now even in your deluded world todays play went Englands way. No dodgy descisions, pure English dominance.

Sales day today. 10 Aussie wickets, only cost 98 runs.

Monty

*

[Phil Carter]

Hello Adam.

Australia....... 98 for 10 wickets

England........157 for 0 wickets

STUMPS

Says it all. Perfect day for England, disaster for Australia. Line and length on or just outside the off stump, followed by batting that knew the terms "leave alone" and "wait for the bad ball".
The English bowlers are brought up on bowling on that sort of wicket.. slightly green and using the cloud cover. English batsman from time immomorial have erred on the cautious side, and have been pilloried for it too.. but on THAT pitch, the bowlers were perfect, the English opening batsmen were perfect, almost tailor-for English cricketers.

The groundsman should never have switched that strip 2 weeks ago.. because this pitch is going to be dead the longer it plays now.. the window of momentum Oz had has now gone for good in this match. The only question is whether England can bowl Oz out a 2nd time.. and judging from the "we will chase the ball" attitude of the batsmen, the problem won't even arise.
In 72 hours time, the Ashes may well be safe from Oz grasp.

A couple of records to keep an eye on... Hobbs and Rhodes v Oz opening partnership record (was it 323?) and the World Record opening Test Match partnership score of 421 ? (I think, without looking them both up) are up for grabs here. Strauss and Cook need to bat tomorrow and to get the first record need another 170 runs... for the 2nd record...270 runs to do that one. Given the pitch, given the batting, given the bowling... neither record is impossible.

Merry Christmas... it's a cracker! Go on, pulll the other one and see what happens! Hahahaha!

Oh... and all 10 wickets caught behind the wicket? Memories of Bob Massie at Lords 1972... ahhh, revenge sometimes takes time... but it is oh so very sweet.

Phil

PS. Neil..it's Melbourne, not Sydney... not that it matters old mate... its a seige in that street anyway!..hahaha

[Natalie Severn]

Australia collapsed on the first day of the fourth test.Why argue?

[Adam Went]

Monty & Phil:

Perhaps you missed the part where I said you wouldn’t be raining on my parade. Double time….ooh yes.

Some England supporter you are Monty, don’t even know where your team is playing it!

To both of you, really, I’ve got no intention of wrapping my team in cotton wool – they have been thoroughly crap thus far in the match. They watched the UN take 10 wickets by pitching the ball up, and then proceeded to bowl half-trackers and have two men in the deep on the leg-side. Not even I can explain that one.

It’s all about defensive bowling now. Seven men on the off side and bowl wide if you have to, just got to keep the UN to 2 or 3 an over, force some mistakes, and hang on in there…..i’m still confident that we can salvage a draw.

You UN fans have very short memories – mocking us for being bowled out for 98, wasn’t long ago that you lot were bowled out for 51, was it? Yes, I remember….

The beauty of this series is that Australia cannot lose, we’re in a win-win position. Because if we manage to win the series, brilliant, we regain the Ashes – if we draw or lose the series, then it will be the catalyst for sweeping changes to the Aussie team, management and structure that are long, long overdue, which we will be much better for in the long run…..so either way, it’s not the doom and gloom that you lot would like to think it is.

Natalie:

Who’s arguing?

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Another battering today Adam,

Sleep well.

Australia is all the same to me. Filthy cities, dull whiney people, speaking of which. Pointing was an absolute disgrace today. An embarassement not only to himself and his nation but to cricket as a whole. You never argue with an Umpire. A great bat but an awful Captain and a Mardy Arse.

Still living on the past huh? That's your future now. The great Aussie side are now of the past. Apart from the odd occasion where we have performed poorly we have, overall, dominated the series. Our players are my far better and more consistant.

As Phil states, the wicket prepped was an English one. We are laughing over here at that, you have no idea how to handle and bowl on a green top. Hell, we are laughing at the ACBs total incompetence as well as their team.

Not one ounce of recognition by you that England are the better team and the better team by some way. To rely on rain before the first day is out is an indication of you desperation.

I told you that if you wanted the urn you had to fight for it. You'd best start, and rapidly.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Once again you demonstrate that when you were born, there was no lifeguard on duty at the gene pool.

I enjoy the fact that you insult our people and our cities, while conveniently forgetting – Australia #3, England #18. Not to mention that some of our cities have consistently ranked in the most livable in the world. I know many of your former countrymen who have settled over here, they can’t think it too bad of a place. Just a cheap shot that makes you look like a dimwit. So tell me, how’s the dental care system over there working out for ya? Have you had your annual bath yet?

I need make no further comment than that, the facts speak for themselves.

As for England being the better team, I’d rather sit through a DVD of “England Cricket’s Greatest Moments” whilst simultaneously listening to a Culture Club CD than pay you or your team anything resembling a compliment.

Now, time for us to have another bat! More than 98, please….

Cheers,
Adam.

[Phil Carter]

Hello Adam,

As Neil says, that little pearl of a greentop wicket was meant for the Oz bowlers that played at Perth... but Perth isn't Melbourne.. and a greentop there has always, from time immomorial meant only one thing... it's a leave it alone wicket.... that is a perfect English batsman and bowler's type of wicket... bread and butter stuff it ius for us. Ian Chappell commentating called it an "old time" Melbourne wicket, one he remembers playing on. And which batsman played the leave it alone ball best, and the Aussie's had real trouble getting him out on them? Geoff Boycott. A man accustomed to patience. A man who took pitch study to the extreme, but it worked (8114 Test runs...a World Record at the time)
We are so accustomed to those pitches over here that batsmen HAVE to learn to not play strokes on them. Learn not to chase the ball. The key, for the batsmen, is getting the feet in position in time to NOT play the ball at all. Otherwise you end up with a bat wafting around in mid air. That's a paradise for a medium fast bowler with a little swing, reverse swing and a bit off the seam. The type of bowler we have had for years in abundance. The Aussies, with exceptions, haven't had them. Perth was suited for swing, especially left arm. But this is Melbourne, and the swirling breeze makes bowling a defined art in control, something Mitchell Johnson hasn't got.

Now as for the rest of this Test Match, I am reminded that the Abba phenomenon that started in Australia many years ago ended up with almost every household being mad about Abba by the time they toured there.

It's about time Bjřrn, Benny, Anna and Frida came over, sat the entire cricket squad and selection squad down crossed legged on the stage facing the audience, and sang.. "I have a Dream". Tell you what, we will even supply the candles for them to hold...all together now..

"I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairytale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream"

At the time of writing, Australia are 160 for 6, with Harris' foot in plaster. So perhaps 3 wickets more and the Ashes have walked out the door...
Tim Bresnan is my type of bowler, a type of Mike Hendrick, Chris Old... will keep the pressure on through sheer accuracy and use of the conditions he has.


"If you see the wonder of a fairytale... you can face the future, even if you fail..."

best wishes

Phil

PS Who'd be a turkey at Christmas huh?

[Adam Went]

G'day Phil,

Well at least, unlike some, you make an attempt at being civilised.

I agree that the Australian attack was wrong for the pitch, it was simply a carry over from Perth of not changing a winning team - Johnson and Siddle have both been hot and cold all series, Hilfenhaus has bowled alright without doing much in the wickets column, Harris is impressive but injured....it's just not been Australia's match. Like Adelaide, if you find yourself several wickets down for not many runs on the first morning, it's an uphill climb from there, especially on wickets like the MCG which flatten out on day 2 and 3....

I'm still hopeful of some sort of a miracle. But if we do go on to lose the match, as I said before, I won't be too disappointed, as it will be ultimately be a positive thing going into the future. There's plenty of very, very talented youngsters playing state cricket - some of them the sons of former Aussie players, like Mitchell Marsh, son of Geoff, and Alastair McDermott, son of Craig, and so on....the present may be bleak but the future is exciting.

As for ABBA, I think "The Winner Takes It All" might be a slightly more fitting song for the moment.....Monty, of course, prefers "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Man After Midnight").

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Adam



Monty

[Phil Carter]

Hello Adam,

The Winner takes it all?

"I don't wanna talk
About things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And thats what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play.."

I will leave Elton John on stage...

"Its sad, so sad, it's a sad sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd..

(Sorry seems to be the hardest word..)

cheers

Phil

[Monty]

Yeeeeeeeesssssss!

That's the Ashes, England have retained the Ashes.

I'm off to celerbrate. Adam, you'll keep till the morning. Sit down and be quiet.

Ill be back!

Monty

[Adam Went]

Phil:

Losing the Ashes will be the best thing that's happened to Australian cricket for a long time, you'll see that in time.

So perhaps, bearing that in mind, the theme song should be changed again to that great band Starship's song, "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now"?

Monty:

Just don't exceed your two standard drink limit.
As for the Ashes, you need not worry, i've nothing to say.....other than ah well, life will go on!

Cheers,
Adam.

[Steven Russell]

Well that's me off the Waltzing Matilda hook anyway. Probably just as well for all concerned.

What a drubbing that was! And much as I admire Ponting as a player, once again he revealed himself to be a narky little f**ker who chucks his dummy out of the pram as soon as he doesn't get his own way. If whingeing were a competitive sport, Australia would surely have a very fine team and a natural captain in Ricky.

Let's see what Sydney brings: would 3-1 be our best result in Aus since Jardine? Anyway, whatever happens, the urn remains in it's rightful place. Sorry about that, Aussies but it's all over. You're playing to try and salvage some pride now. But that's all.

Best wishes,
Steve.

[Monty]

In Affectionate Remembrance
of AUSTRALIAN CRICKET
which died at the Melbourne Cricket Ground
on 29th DECEMBER, 2010
Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances

RIP

NB - The body will be cremated and the ashes to remain in England.

[babybird67]

haha

In Affectionate Remembrance
of AUSTRALIAN CRICKET
which died at the Melbourne Cricket Ground
on 29th DECEMBER, 2010
Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances

RIP

NB - The body will be cremated and the ashes to remain in England.

Absolute classic Monty.

Well done England.