Off Topic (moved from other thread)

[The Good Michael]

You people are really off the deep end. Ouija and Scrying indeed! Why not dowse for Mary Kelly, or use entrails for divination? Better yet, let's slaughter a bull like the Celts for a tarbhfeis and scatter the offal about and see what that says. We don't need to. There's enough offal on this thread already. Maybe there's a salmon of knowledge out there somewhere.

Cheers,

Mike

[Crystal]

I thought it was a Salmon of Doubt? There is a Bull of Wisdom, as I recall....

[The Good Michael]

Crystal,

You are toying with me? Surely you know about Fionn MacCumhail gaining wisdom from the salmon of Knowledge?

Mike

[smezenen]

Where is this salmon i need to speak to him.

[Crystal]

You are toying with me? Surely you know about Fionn MacCumhail gaining wisdom from the salmon of Knowledge?

Yes, Mike! I was toying with you! Ho HO! Funny Crystal!

Ben writes: MAUBLAITER is also an anagram for "But I am real.."

Mr. Astrakhan protesting his very existence, of course!

Its that Hutchinson AGAIN! He's everywhere I look..

It's a clever anagram, Ben!

MAUBLAITER also happens to be an anagram for 'MAYBRICK DID IT'... Oh, no, that doesn't quite work, does it?

[Crystal]

Where is this salmon i need to speak to him.

he's in the pond at the bottom of my garden. Along with the fairies. I'll tell him you were asking after him....

[The Good Michael]

Crystal,

In your pond? It must be the offspring. Fionn ate the salmon.

Oh, sounds like an insult: Yeah? In your pond, Motherf...!

Mike

[Crystal]

Its the original Salmon's wife's son's great-grandson, Mike. Well, that's the story he told the fairies, anyhow.... I can't decide whether I believe him or not......?

[The Good Michael]

Use the ouija board to find out if the story's true. That seems to be infallible.

Mike

[The Good Michael]

MAULBAITER U blame Rita. Now we're getting somewhere.

Mike

[Crystal]

A Good Plan, Mike!

(Crystal wanders off to the bottom of her garden, where she happens to keep a special outdoor, automatic ouija board...the fairies are drinking their lunchtime gin, and the Salmon is looking distinctly doubtful. Crystal asks - is this Salmon for real? The fairies are all rolling about with drunken laughter..they don't seem to be convinced.

The board has replied. Crystal has her answer. Hmm....runs back into the house in excitement...)

I asked the question, Mike.

It said, UPYERARSE

I have no idea what that means... You know, Mike, I'm not too sure about this ouija board stuff...it could be dangerous.....

[The Good Michael]

Thank goodness it said, "upyerarse" and not "uphisarse" else I'd be feeling a bit annoyed.

Mike

[Crystal]

A Salmon has an arse? Hmmm. Yes, I suppose he does...No, I think that board was definitely talking to me, Mike. I haven't quite worked out what it meant yet, but give me time...!