On The Trail Of The Forgers

[Ben]

You go right ahead and invite as many misunderstandings and as much ridicule as you like in future with your posts.

Thanks for the encouragement, but I think it has been satisfactorily established by now that the "misunderstandings" were simply the result of ignorance on your part, and that the "ridicule" was just additional reinforcement of that ignorance.

[Victoria]

Hi Caz,

I have been reading your 'intellectual' .. exchanges/arguments with Ben
for my mornings entertainment here.
And more than entertainment, it could be even educating ..

I was totally with Ben on the meaning of fulsome, until I checked my own
dictionary .. not being an intellectual type myself, and it has both descriptions
of the word, well I never ..
I know someone who uses that word and it is always with the 'positive'
meaning, and he is not a 'pretentious twat'.
I now think it is best to avoid the word altogether.

I then moved onto the crossword 'puzzle' to get the grey matter going,
nearly had to do a .. 'ask the audience' a couple of times.
But perserverance paid off .. I have it finished, and if?? I have done it correctly,
I believe that you caz are one of the answers.

[caz]

Thanks for the encouragement, but I think it has been satisfactorily established by now that the "misunderstandings" were simply the result of ignorance on your part, and that the "ridicule" was just additional reinforcement of that ignorance.

As usual, Ben, only in your own mind - and perhaps the odd poster who saw you coming and had you down as the hilarious Viz character Tranny Magnet.

Hi Victoria,

You have my fulsome praise for having the time to fanny around with crosswords.

My own philosophy is 'never a crossword' unless it's a Times or Telegraph cryptic one when I'm on the train with nothing better to do.

Love,

Caz
X

[Ben]

As usual, Ben, only in your own mind - and perhaps the odd poster who saw you coming and had you down as the hilarious Viz character Tranny Magnet.

I'm only a "magnet" inasmuch as I seem to attract the worst kind of message board irritant; the sort who can't go a day without mentioning me somewhere in some context.

[caz]

Yeah Ben, you're just my type.

Or you would be, only I seem to have misplaced my meat and two veg...

For those not already in the know:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tranny_Magnet

Love,

Caz
X

[Ben]

Yeah Ben, you're just my type.

I know, and the fixation really shows.

If I'm a tranny magnet, and my magnetism is clearly working on you to an alarming degree, I'd guess that would make you a....?

Oh, but this is funny. Caz reckons I'm "middle-aged, short, fat, balding".

I'm sure those of you who have seen me can confirm that.

[halomanuk]

Shall we get back to discussing the diary now peeps ?

You two are like a comedy double act - 'The Ben & Caz show'.
Episode 1 - Ben & Caz kick the **** out of each other.
Episode 2 - Ben & Caz kick the **** out of each other...and so on ....

[Jane Welland]

Yeah, keep the comedy coming!

It's so entertaining!

[Sam Flynn]

Oh, but this is funny. Caz reckons I'm "middle-aged, short, fat, balding".

I'm sure those of you who have seen me can confirm that.

Ben is officially taller than Paul Whicker.

[Ally]

I noticed you didn't touch the middle-aged, fat and balding portion of the challenge.

[Sam Flynn]

I noticed you didn't touch the middle-aged, fat and balding portion of the challenge.

... of Ben's birth, girth and hirthuteness I know not, Ally. Especially not the girth.

[caz]

I know, and the fixation really shows.

If I'm a tranny magnet, and my magnetism is clearly working on you to an alarming degree, I'd guess that would make you a....?

Oh, but this is funny. Caz reckons I'm "middle-aged, short, fat, balding".

I'm sure those of you who have seen me can confirm that.

Hi Ben,

No - I think you'll find it was another poster you managed to attract like a magnet, to the point where you each swallowed everything the other offered without gagging. I hope you weren't so impressed by what they claimed to have up top that you failed to check what they had downstairs.

I don't 'reckon' you are anything. I wasn't the one who thought they'd found their Tranny Magnet when they found you.

If I had to guess I'd imagine you're just adorable - in a trusting incontinent puppy kind of way - while pretty much everyone who has seen me in the flesh will no doubt have confirmed for you that I am indeed a saggy piece of mutton - and had a jolly good laugh about it behind my back.

And you've certainly got my number. I've been waiting all my life to have an incurable fixation for someone I've never met who talks bollocks on the internet, but wouldn't recognise a pair if they were dangled in front of him, as long as the owner was stroking his ego at the time.

Ben is officially taller than Paul Whicker.

Hi Sam (or may I call you Bishop Bloggs?),

Funny - I imagined them as being exactly the same.

Love,

Caz
X

[Ben]

Hmmm, I knew it was too good to be true.

Somehow I knew it was foolish to take premature comfort that today would pass devoid of any numpties trying to engage me in unseemly brawls.

Turns out it just took a little longer today, that's all.

No - I think you'll find it was another poster you managed to attract like a magnet, to the point where you each swallowed everything the other offered without gagging.

Ah yes, the poster who is no longer here to defend herself; the poster you refer to continually and obsessively on more than one ripper forum; the poster you clearly had daggers for as soon as you singled her out as a potential rival for my affections; the poster you're now accusing, in a characteristic display of maturity, of being a transvestite.

If I had to guess I'd imagine you're just adorable - in a trusting incontinent puppy kind of way

Unless you have daydreams of a "trusting incontinent puppy" wearing a codpiece, I can only assume that I'm an altogether different kind of "adorable", as far as you're concerned.

Funny - I imagined them as being exactly the same.

Even funnier, you just compared me to a short comic book character, and now you're saying I'm "exactly the same" as a very tall one. I'm afraid if you don't maintain a better consistency of insult, you just look like you're trying too hard.

Reciprocal love,

Ben
X

[caz]

Afternoon Ben,

It's quite funny, because I did actually have you down as a lanky streak of piss - long before anyone came along and had you for a sucker.

Love,

Caz
X

PS Couldn't deprive you of your little 'fixation' fixation. Enjoy.

[Ben]

It's quite funny, because I did actually have you down as a lanky streak of piss

And I had you down as a cross between Anne Robinson and Vicky Pollard - long before you decided to follow me around like a filthy smell. But I'm still giggling at your mental image of me as lanky and short, complete with the obligatory codpiece of course.

(Shudder!)