If... you just might be a ripperologist

[Phil Carter]

If you believe in the probable, but pooh-pooh the possible,
If you refuse to bend to accepted theories,
If you re-churn the old theory with a new twist,
If you discuss without caring what others have to say,

If Dr.T is really Mr. Bumble, and Kozzy is just humble,
If PAV is the queen on the tree, and Gull is a crackpot theory,
If Druitt is a scapegoat, who's suspicion is unable to float,
If Fenians are has-beenians, and Berner St has steakhouse meanings,

If you argue with venom and spit, as you stare at the screen and sit,
If you quietly ponder each line, and regard nasty comments as sublime,
If you take note of a stranger's birthday wish,
If you regard the oncoming of age with "tish, tish",

If the letters on your keyboards are worn, and efforts make you feel forlorn,
If you find a nugget of gold, yet have it criticised by those who are so bold,
If you reply to inane postings and words, the poster being "full of turds,"
And finally,

If you really think you might, , just might, possibly, have an idea that could possibly change the course of historical understanding of the Whitechapel Murders....

Then it could possibly be, that you are a Ripperologist

best wishes

Phil

[Madam Red]

Nice one, Phil.

[Gman992]

If you use the word "doss" in conversation.

When you go to the knife store and wondering if a Liston knife can cut through a pot roast better than it can human flesh and bone.

Using the words "post-mortem examination" instead of "autopsy"

Watching JtR movies and just hoping that they get something right, instead of just the names of the dead women.

Thinking that the gas light is the greatest invention since sliced bread.

When you compare down and out neighborhoods of your city to Whitechapel.

Cringe every time the newspapers comparing the recently captured serial killer to JtR.

Looking on the internet for an outfit the real JtR would wear and not a top hat and cape.

Knowing what a Gladstone bag is.

When you are talking to your city's ME and mention back in JtR's time, they just had a shed to view the body in.

When the coroner becomes your favorite politician

When you believe Grissom from CSI can get the killer by finding out when the insect larvae started to embed itself into Annie Chapman’s body.

When you compare your present situation to the Whitechapel of 1888, and realize that you should just stop complaining and get on with your life.

When you buy McFarlane’s Jack the Ripper action figures.

When you know it’s a fraud, but you buy a Liston knife on Ebay, just to tell people that this is the kind of knife JtR used.

Have a folder on your computer specifically for your JtR screenplay.

When you wish you had a time machine, and instead of going back the swingin’ 1960s, you choose to go back to 1888 London.

When you bookmark www.casebook.org as your homepage.

Spending so much time on casebook.org when there is absolutely tons of free internet porn readily available.

[DVV]

If your Sourcebook is on your desk, Sugden on the shelf and Patsy in the toilets, then you're a ripperologist.

[Jenni Shelden]

hmm, sometimes my husband brings up JtR at the dinner table - thus according to this thread i cannot be a ripperologists, thank God for that!

[DVV]

Thank God, I have no husband.

[The Good Michael]

Thank God, I have no husband.

Yet.

Mike

[DVV]

You, pagan !

[Jenni Shelden]

Of course if you met your husband at a JtR conference i guess you might be a ripperologist...
damn!

[Jeff Leahy]

Come off it Mrs Sheldon

Ripper Royalty dont count

P x

[Hunter]

If your better half starts engaging in foreplay with you while you are on Casebook, and you just start typing faster, you might be a Ripperologist... or impotent... or both... might as well be both.

... Or may just need to brush up on those typing skills.

Lesson?

Type faster.
Make love slower.

Worst case scenerio?
After a romantic session, instead of cuddling and pillowtalk, you turn on the nightlight and read a Ripper book... You might be a Ripperologist.
But, no need to worry; soon you will be alone and have plenty of time to read without being interrupted.

Thank God and Viagra I'm not a Ripperologist.

Yet.

[The Good Michael]

If you savagely cut small rodents open and then lay out their entrails and organs in an attempt to replicate the murders, you might be... what? You mean you don't? Never mind.

Mike