Things that Annoy

[Herlock Sholmes]

You're right there, HS. Saw hardly anything of Chrissie Hynde when The Pretenders were on stage at last year's Glastonbury.

Graham

Just ego’s trying to show off their ‘imaginative’ camera work. No one’s interested in their camera work though. They just want to watch the band.

[martin wilson]

Energy suppliers staff standing in the high street accosting passers by. They're a bloody nuisance. Same with charities.
Throw in buskers, the giz a fag and spare change crowd and it's like running an obstacle course when all you want is a quiet mooch around the shops. Sod off and leave me alone.

[Herlock Sholmes]

The ‘giz a fag and spare change’ crew now appear to all be working from the same script as within the last 2 weeks or so ive been approached by four who all opened up by saying:

‘I dont like being cheeky mate but.......”

Is someone coaching them?

Im also slightly reluctant to give money to someone that has a pretty decent mobile phone!

[Herlock Sholmes]

Lying bloody taxi firms!!!

Genuine. Last Saturday.

Booked a taxi via their automated booking - 10 mins and no show.

I called up - automate reply - your taxi will artive in 3 minutes

6 mins and no show.

Called again - your taxi will arrive in 2 mins.

5 mins later and no show

Called again - your taxi will arrive in 2 mins!

I was expecting a bloody steam roller to turn up how long it was taking.

I got through to the operater who apologised and said ‘give me five minutes.’

It came in 9 minutes!

It was a black cab and id specifically asked for a normal car because my dad is 80 and in poor health and cant get into a black cab. So he went away saying hed arrange for another taxi.

We waited 10 mins then called back. No taxi had been booked!! I was ready to kill. He booked the taxi and said 5 minutes.

It came in 11 minutes!! Then proceeded in the wrong direction despite me telling him where we were going.

[Robert]

HOLMES : Listen, Herlock : take neither the first cab that should present itself, nor the second -

HERLOCK : SHUT UP!!!

[barnflatwyngarde]

HOLMES : Listen, Herlock : take neither the first cab that should present itself, nor the second -

HERLOCK : SHUT UP!!!

Now, that is genuinely funny!

[Herlock Sholmes]

[Herlock Sholmes]

Cafe’s that think that a ‘cup of tea’ is a mug of hot water with a bag on a string in it and a small jug of milk.

Thats called ‘providing the ingrediants.’

Morons!

[barnflatwyngarde]

Cafe’s that think that a ‘cup of tea’ is a mug of hot water with a bag on a string in it and a small jug of milk.

Thats called ‘providing the ingrediants.’

Morons!

Yep, I'm with you on that one.

[Mayerling]

Cafe’s that think that a ‘cup of tea’ is a mug of hot water with a bag on a string in it and a small jug of milk.

Thats called ‘providing the ingrediants.’

Morons!

True story from 1980. I went into upper Manhattan near Lincoln Center. At that time there was a restaurant, "Le Crepe", specializing in French crepes. I went in and the crepe was okay, but I noticed on the menu "French Cheese Cake". I ordered a piece. They brought it. I recognized it was a slice of the "French Cheese Cake" made by Sara Lee at the time.

[Robert]

I ordered some suzette,
I said "Could you please make that crepe?"

(Bob Dylan)

[martin wilson]

The ‘giz a fag and spare change’ crew now appear to all be working from the same script as within the last 2 weeks or so ive been approached by four who all opened up by saying:

‘I dont like being cheeky mate but.......”

Is someone coaching them?

Im also slightly reluctant to give money to someone that has a pretty decent mobile phone!

When I'm walking around West Brom high street, well, meandering around aimlessly until some kind soul points me in the right direction, I've taken to saying "sorry mate, I haven't got any spare change, I've been to Dudley"
One girl at Dudley bus station was chatting away to someone, saw me approaching and held a handkerchief up to her eye, claiming she needed money to go to hospital.
One chap in Wolverhampton astonished me in the days before I knew better. Instantly working out the handful of change I gave him came to £1.27 and rather cheekily asking "is that all?"
The funniest was in Bilston. A lad asked if he could buy a cigarette.
I said "No, I'll give you one". After lighting it and walking away he stopped and said " I would have give you the money!" I'm like "ok, ok" blimey.
As you can see I'm a magnet.

All the best.

[martin wilson]

Cafe’s that think that a ‘cup of tea’ is a mug of hot water with a bag on a string in it and a small jug of milk.

Thats called ‘providing the ingrediants.’

Morons!

I don't mind that so much as the staff never seem to understand what is meant by 'a spot of milk' so I prefer to put it in myself.
I do ask for a second teabag. Some number cruncher has obviously worked out that a haporth less tea in the bag equals bigger profits as I find I have to use two to get a decent cuppa.
The ethical cafe in Stourbridge comes with moral judgement from a lad who looks badly in need of a transfusion.
Sitting there, feeling like I'm made entirely of pork pie and lard, my sandwich was brought across by an eerily cheerful waitress.
I got out pretty quickly, fearing I would be inducted into some matriarchal earth cult.

All the best.

[Herlock Sholmes]

When I'm walking around West Brom high street, well, meandering around aimlessly until some kind soul points me in the right direction, I've taken to saying "sorry mate, I haven't got any spare change, I've been to Dudley"
One girl at Dudley bus station was chatting away to someone, saw me approaching and held a handkerchief up to her eye, claiming she needed money to go to hospital.
One chap in Wolverhampton astonished me in the days before I knew better. Instantly working out the handful of change I gave him came to £1.27 and rather cheekily asking "is that all?"
The funniest was in Bilston. A lad asked if he could buy a cigarette.
I said "No, I'll give you one". After lighting it and walking away he stopped and said " I would have give you the money!" I'm like "ok, ok" blimey.
As you can see I'm a magnet.

All the best.

Hi Martin,

I was ‘nabbed’ whilst sitting outside Birmingham Library waiting for a mate around 6 months ago. As i was rummaging around for change i was staggered to hear him say “it needs to be more than a quid mate i want to get a sandwich from in there (ie the Library cafe.)

Needless to say, my reply ended in ‘off.’ I also called out to the couple that were sitting 2 tables away where he went next and told them.

They’ll be carrying portable chip and pin machines around next!

[Herlock Sholmes]

I don't mind that so much as the staff never seem to understand what is meant by 'a spot of milk' so I prefer to put it in myself.
I do ask for a second teabag. Some number cruncher has obviously worked out that a haporth less tea in the bag equals bigger profits as I find I have to use two to get a decent cuppa.
The ethical cafe in Stourbridge comes with moral judgement from a lad who looks badly in need of a transfusion.
Sitting there, feeling like I'm made entirely of pork pie and lard, my sandwich was brought across by an eerily cheerful waitress.
I got out pretty quickly, fearing I would be inducted into some matriarchal earth cult.

All the best.

I hate milky tea!

And why when someone brings you a sandwich to they feel obliged to load the plate with foliage?