Things that Annoy

[martin wilson]

Hi Magpie

If there is ever a World Dropping Things Championship, put your mortgage on me.
Age makes me forget to put my glasses safely to one side. Sometimes they end up on the floor.
In which case, wandering back in the living room with a cuppa guarantees I will tread on them.
I'm so used to things going wrong that I incorporate it into my daily rituals. I call it the mad hour and subsequently approach everything with the kind of due care and attention usually only seen in bomb disposal experts.
My attempts at diy are textbook. Except it's a textbook written by Laurel and Hardy.
I have long accepted that the God of diy can only be appeased by blood loss. Doesn't take me long.

All the best.

[martin wilson]

That's the Black Country for you, mate.

The late father of a friend worked at The Shaft, and he told me that when it closed the whole site was plundered by scrapmen, even removed a heat-treatment furnace over a weekend, or so he said. I sort of believed him.

Graham

Hi Graham

Believe it. I had a mate who worked there. I've already posted on another thread about the pilfering at the Shaft.
His dad also worked there. As did his brother in law, who was a union representative.
Negotiations with management consisted of presenting the offer to the workforce, then being sent back in with increased demands.
It always tickled me that when it closed he blamed ' the bloody management'.

All the best.

[Magpie]

I hate when things get caught on other things.

Like when you're trying to get get out of bed and the sheet wraps around your ankle. Or when you pick something up and it somehow hooks something near it and sends it flying.

Or when you try to pick something up and you end up pushing it away

[Graham]

That's the Black Country for you, mate.

The late father of a friend worked at The Shaft, and he told me that when it closed the whole site was plundered by scrapmen, even removed a heat-treatment furnace over a weekend, or so he said. I sort of believed him.

Graham

[martin wilson]

I worked in Wednesbury for a couple of years. Weird? It's weirder than weird! Never been the same since all the foundries and steelworks closed, but even then it was weird. Are the old gates of the now-demolished Patent Shaft Company still standing all on their own in the middle of wasteland and dereliction?

Graham

Hi Graham

The Patent Shaft gates are on a roundabout near the bus station. I think they are the only remaining asset that hadn't been nicked.
I wonder what's happened to Penny Bill? I haven't seen him for ages.
First time I met him was sitting on the benches near The George. He was telling me about some horse he had bet on.
I said my usual, know nothing about horse racing, might have a once a year bet on the Grand National etc.
He asked me for 50p. Which I gave him. He went to the bookies.
I thought he might be putting it on a sure thing for me.
So naive. No doubt he put a bet on, but then he just buggered off.

All the best.

[Mayerling]

Slideshows used to present lists. Has anyone ever looked at a site and said to themselves, "Gee, this would work so much better as a slideshow"?

Slideshows in general. I used to like them as a kid, as I considered them something like entertainment (they did not use them for lists then, but to show pictures). Nowadays I consider them a waste, between having an album of photos or pictures you wish to show, and having a movie or video to show. The "Magic Lantern" ceased to be public amusement about 1920.

Jeff

[Mayerling]

Answering questions that require an answer other than yes, with a yes:

"How are you today?"

"Yeah, good thanks."

The aforementioned superfluous "so" and awkward "can I get?":

"Are you ready to order?"

"So, can I get a burger?"

The equally superfluous "at all?"

"Would you like fries with that at all?"

One either wants fries or one doesn't. I like to respond with an equally meaningless:

"Not as such."

Also, minor celebs who answer interview questions with:

"No, yes, I learned a lot from scoffing that kangaroo's anus on the show".

I'd be so tempted to ask:

"Well is it no or yes? Or were you just talking out of your own anus?"

Love,

Caz
X

Answering a question with a question. It really is a way to avoid answering the original question.

Q: Why did you do that?
A: Did I do that?
Q: Yes, why did you do that?
A: Who wants to know?
Q: I would like to know. Why did you do that?
A: What right do you claim to have to know?
Q: I am a seeker after knowledge! Why did you do that?!
A: Haven't you anything better than to do than stand around asking questions?
Q: WE WILL STAND HERE UNTIL HELL FREEZES OVER UNTIL YOU ANSWER THE ORIGINAL QUESTION!!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT????!!!!
A: [Imitating Monty Python] Well I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!!!! [And he walks away in pretended indignation.]

Jeff

[Mayerling]

The modern practice of characterizing Holocaust victims as having been "murdered", apparently as a way of signalling moral outrage. Murder takes place outside of the law. If someone is trying to murder you, then a policeman will protect you. In many cases during the Holocaust, the police were the ones doing the killing.

*****



*****



*****

The Weather Channel's insistence that winter storms have names, just like hurricanes. This is apparently a cynical calculation that naming blizzards will make them a Big Deal, so that people will watch the WC (and its advertisers) more. WC's already on my list anyway for the lobbying effort they made in the mid 90s to prohibit the NWS from issuing weather forecasts, because that meant that the government was competing against private enterprise, despite the fact that the WC depends totally on information that the government provides for free.

*****

On the "Holacaust" issue: Oddly enough when the Nuremburg Trials were held there was some discussion of whether the police of Nazi Germany were guilty of any "crimes" against Jews in assisting in rounding them up and even killing them, if the actual law of the state was to do precisely that. As police they were supposed to uphold the official law. Fortunately this piece of sophistry was discarded.

On the storms with names issue. If I'm not mistaken, if Britain is hit by a major storm it usually is given the "name" of the year it occurs. For example, the tremendously powerful storm that destroyed the original Eddystone Lighthouse (with Mr. Winstanley, it's builder, inside it) and did huge damage throughout the British Isles was called "The Great Storm of 1703". On the other hand some storms get named in Britain for some singular related disaster of that storm that was noticeable. The infamous hurricane like storm of 1859 is recalled as the "Royal Charter" Storm, because the S.S. Royal Charter was wrecked some twenty feet or so from shore by it, killing over 500 passengers and crew.

Jeff

[Herlock Sholmes]

Gareth, picture a quaint old Cotswold village....after a nuclear war!

[Graham]

Does Wednesbury come between Tewkesbury and Thurso?

No Sam. Nice guess, but it lies somewhere between Hell and Dudley.

Graham

[Sam Flynn]

I worked in Wednesbury for a couple of years.

Does Wednesbury come between Tewkesbury and Thurso?

[Graham]

I worked in Wednesbury for a couple of years. Weird? It's weirder than weird! Never been the same since all the foundries and steelworks closed, but even then it was weird. Are the old gates of the now-demolished Patent Shaft Company still standing all on their own in the middle of wasteland and dereliction?

Graham

[martin wilson]

Morrisons in Wednesbury who have a tannoy system for staff instead of walkie talkies. So you have to keep suspending your conversation in the cafe because its like being on the platform at Kings Cross station.

I was in Morrisons Wednesbury a couple of Christmases ago having a look at the dvd's.
There was a woman doing the same a few feet away.
Another woman came up to the first. I didn't hear what passed between them, but as she walked away the second woman called back "I hope you die soon!"
Merry Christmas to you too.
Then again, Wednesbury has always been weird. There was a bloke dressed up as Spider-Man minus the mask collecting money for charity on the forecourt of the garage on the Walsall road.
I don't know what happened to him. Perhaps he met his nemesis, Bathman.

All the best.

[Robert]

Quote:
"Would you like fries with that at all?"

How do you answer that one accurately?

You answer, in your best James Robertson Justice voice, "I want nothing of the kind."

[Herlock Sholmes]

People who dress small dogs in clothes and then carry them around with them. I swear that I’ve seen dogs looking embarrassed.