Play
At half-time in the Liverpool -v- Arsenal game this afternoon and inspired by Norma or Natalie tale about a play with Hanratty and Alphon, I decided to do a bit of playwrighting myself. This is part of what I wrote:
Act 1
Scene 1
16 August 1961
Two figures, a man and a woman, sit together on a settle in a dimly lit corner of Ye Olde Swiss Cottage.
Bill: So that’s the plan Janet, what d’ya think?
Janet: Seems a good un to me Bill, run it past me one more time.
Bill: Right, to get that no good two timing hubby of yours to stop playing away with that so called Valerie Storie, we get a hit man in to scare them when they are planning a rally near that there Dorney Reach.
Janet: Ok. Who’s the hit man?
Bill: A chap called Freddie Durrant aka Peter Alphon.
Janet: Right. Has he done this sort of thing before?
Bill: Not as such. By trade he sells almanacs.
Janet: Almanacs?
Bill: Yes and he bets on the dogs.
Janet: How much does he want for scaring Mike and Val.
Bill: Five grand, plus expenses, plus, if it goes horribly wrong, whatever he can blackmail out of us.
Janet: Seems a bit pricey, you can get a nice semi in our manor for under three grand. Oh dear,Bill I am lapsing into this criminal argot of yours already.
Bill: Don’t fret I will give Pete or Freddie the shooter, and the job’ll be a good un.
Act 2
Scene 3
23 August 1961 Early evening
Ye Olde Swiss Cottage, three (3) figures are huddled on the same settle as in A1.sc1 above.
Bill: Well you made a right pig’s ear of that, Freddie or should I call you Pete?
Janet: I only wanted you to scare him, not blow his bloody brains out.
PLA: Well I did my best, where’s my five grand?
Janet: Here you are Pete, or should I call you Freddie? Five G’s in used oncers and fivers.
PLA: Ta. I was just finking that the Old Bill are going to want someone for this caper. What am I going to do.
Bill: What’s your alibi?
PLA: I stayed at the Vienna. Checked in, went out to do the deed, back just after brekkie.
Bill: Excellent. I will have a word with Dixie, see if we can improve on it.
Act 2
Scene 4
23 August 1961 Early evening but a bit later on
A man on dog and bone to other man.
Dixie: How’s it hanging Bill? How’s the umbrella repair trade?
Bill: Ok earning a crust. Need your help Dixie. You’ve heard about the A6 job?
Dixie: Yes. It’s in all the papers.
Bill: Well I need to pin it on someone and I thought that the vacuous waster that’s knocking off your daughter would be the one.
Dixie: Shh Jim doesn’t know that I know. Have you got the shooter?
Bill: Yes, I’ll let you have it. Don’t mean I’ll shoot you with it, like in Moriaty’s Police Law.
Dixie: (Guffaws.) I’ll get rid of the shooter on the bus. That should do the trick. Let me have any spent cartridge cases so I can plant them on Jim.
Bill: I’ll see what I can do.
Act 3
Scene 1
An umbrella repair salon in Swiss Cottage.
12 September 1961
Dixie and Bill in unison: You bloody fool! What?
Bill: Why did you plant those cartridges in the Vienna? That’s Pete’s alibi.
Dixie: Well how was I to know? That’s where Jim was the night before he went to Scouseland.
Bill and Dixie in unison and laughing: Well what’s Acott going to make of this pretty kettle of fish?
© Ron Ipstone 2010
At half-time in the Liverpool -v- Arsenal game this afternoon and inspired by Norma or Natalie tale about a play with Hanratty and Alphon, I decided to do a bit of playwrighting myself. This is part of what I wrote:
Act 1
Scene 1
16 August 1961
Two figures, a man and a woman, sit together on a settle in a dimly lit corner of Ye Olde Swiss Cottage.
Bill: So that’s the plan Janet, what d’ya think?
Janet: Seems a good un to me Bill, run it past me one more time.
Bill: Right, to get that no good two timing hubby of yours to stop playing away with that so called Valerie Storie, we get a hit man in to scare them when they are planning a rally near that there Dorney Reach.
Janet: Ok. Who’s the hit man?
Bill: A chap called Freddie Durrant aka Peter Alphon.
Janet: Right. Has he done this sort of thing before?
Bill: Not as such. By trade he sells almanacs.
Janet: Almanacs?
Bill: Yes and he bets on the dogs.
Janet: How much does he want for scaring Mike and Val.
Bill: Five grand, plus expenses, plus, if it goes horribly wrong, whatever he can blackmail out of us.
Janet: Seems a bit pricey, you can get a nice semi in our manor for under three grand. Oh dear,Bill I am lapsing into this criminal argot of yours already.
Bill: Don’t fret I will give Pete or Freddie the shooter, and the job’ll be a good un.
Act 2
Scene 3
23 August 1961 Early evening
Ye Olde Swiss Cottage, three (3) figures are huddled on the same settle as in A1.sc1 above.
Bill: Well you made a right pig’s ear of that, Freddie or should I call you Pete?
Janet: I only wanted you to scare him, not blow his bloody brains out.
PLA: Well I did my best, where’s my five grand?
Janet: Here you are Pete, or should I call you Freddie? Five G’s in used oncers and fivers.
PLA: Ta. I was just finking that the Old Bill are going to want someone for this caper. What am I going to do.
Bill: What’s your alibi?
PLA: I stayed at the Vienna. Checked in, went out to do the deed, back just after brekkie.
Bill: Excellent. I will have a word with Dixie, see if we can improve on it.
Act 2
Scene 4
23 August 1961 Early evening but a bit later on
A man on dog and bone to other man.
Dixie: How’s it hanging Bill? How’s the umbrella repair trade?
Bill: Ok earning a crust. Need your help Dixie. You’ve heard about the A6 job?
Dixie: Yes. It’s in all the papers.
Bill: Well I need to pin it on someone and I thought that the vacuous waster that’s knocking off your daughter would be the one.
Dixie: Shh Jim doesn’t know that I know. Have you got the shooter?
Bill: Yes, I’ll let you have it. Don’t mean I’ll shoot you with it, like in Moriaty’s Police Law.
Dixie: (Guffaws.) I’ll get rid of the shooter on the bus. That should do the trick. Let me have any spent cartridge cases so I can plant them on Jim.
Bill: I’ll see what I can do.
Act 3
Scene 1
An umbrella repair salon in Swiss Cottage.
12 September 1961
Dixie and Bill in unison: You bloody fool! What?
Bill: Why did you plant those cartridges in the Vienna? That’s Pete’s alibi.
Dixie: Well how was I to know? That’s where Jim was the night before he went to Scouseland.
Bill and Dixie in unison and laughing: Well what’s Acott going to make of this pretty kettle of fish?
© Ron Ipstone 2010
Comment