The Ripper Nursery Rhyme

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  • Grimmspendulum
    Cadet
    • Oct 2012
    • 7

    #1

    The Ripper Nursery Rhyme

    Jack for thrills Went out to kill
    Out amongst the London poor,
    In Whitechapel he found 5 misfortunates abound
    And ripped each and every whore;

    The first Jack got, while on a dark night trot
    Made all the London paper,
    for on old Bucks Row Polly Nichols did go
    Where Jacks knife sent her to the undertaker;

    On Hanbury street beneath Jacks feet
    was the second of his kills,
    Annie Chapman's life flashed as her throat was then slashed
    Yet Jack had more work to do still;

    The 30th of September was quite a night to remember
    For Jack was working overtime,
    The double event the ripper will not relent
    Two more hookers now buried in pine;

    Jacks final thrill was his favorite kill
    For he and Mary Kelly made history,
    By the firelight he sinned and removed all her skin
    Yet Jacks identity still today remains a mystery;

    Out of the canonical 5 none remained alive
    Jack the Ripper soon disappeared,
    "From hell" he came, played the devils game
    None shall ever be more feared


    Corey Graham
    May 23 2012
  • Futzbucket
    Cadet
    • Jul 2013
    • 46

    #2
    If it was ever told
    By a man who was so bold
    To say he knew the plot
    of the sorry five lot
    Then to him I would tip my glass
    and smile as I would pass
    For as good the tale, I confess I'd skip her
    That claims to know Jack the Ripper

    Comment

    • Cogidubnus
      Assistant Commissioner
      • Feb 2012
      • 3266

      #3
      Haiku...

      My mother used to put it far more succinctly

      Gertcha if you two buggers don't be'ave
      Jack'll bleedin' well getcha
      All the best

      Dave

      Comment

      • TomTomKent
        Detective
        • Feb 2010
        • 371

        #4
        Jack the Tar, Jack the Lad,
        Loved their ladies and god be glad
        Their ladies saw the day.

        Jack the boy and Jack the Tar
        Lost their ladies and God be far.
        From where their girls lay.

        Jack the Ripper Jack the mean
        Found the ladies he has seen.
        And got had nowt to say.
        There Will Be Trouble! http://www.amazon.co.uk/A-Little-Tro...s=T.+E.+Hodden

        Comment

        • Robert
          Commissioner
          • Feb 2008
          • 5163

          #5
          Polly put the kettle on,
          Polly - oh bugger, I mean Mary.

          Comment

          • TomTomKent
            Detective
            • Feb 2010
            • 371

            #6
            Red scarf
            Red Belt
            Silver blade
            And coldess felt...
            There Will Be Trouble! http://www.amazon.co.uk/A-Little-Tro...s=T.+E.+Hodden

            Comment

            • TomTomKent
              Detective
              • Feb 2010
              • 371

              #7
              Kidney for breakfast
              Kidney for tea
              Walk home Annie
              Close the door Mary
              There Will Be Trouble! http://www.amazon.co.uk/A-Little-Tro...s=T.+E.+Hodden

              Comment

              • Cogidubnus
                Assistant Commissioner
                • Feb 2012
                • 3266

                #8
                Jack be nimble
                Jack be quick
                Jack jump over the extracted uterus?

                Comment

                • Mayerling
                  Superintendent
                  • Feb 2008
                  • 2762

                  #9
                  Jacky went dissecting little Miss K...mhmm.
                  Jacky went dissecting little Miss K...mhmm.
                  Jacky went dissecting little Miss K.
                  Removed her heart and took it away.
                  Mhmm.


                  Jack be nimbel, Jack be quick,
                  you have plenty of light, if no candle stick.

                  Comment

                  • Errata
                    Assistant Commissioner
                    • Sep 2010
                    • 3060

                    #10
                    Jack The Ripper, Cunning, Sly
                    Ripped the girls and made them die
                    When the cops came out to play
                    Jack the Ripper ran away
                    The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

                    Comment

                    • Grimmspendulum
                      Cadet
                      • Oct 2012
                      • 7

                      #11
                      Ha love them all...we should publish a book!

                      Comment

                      • Bridewell
                        Commissioner
                        • Apr 2011
                        • 4038

                        #12
                        A book of "nursery rhymes" about a man who killed and mutilated East End prostitutes? I won't be buying a copy.
                        I won't always agree but I'll try not to be disagreeable.

                        Comment

                        • Mayerling
                          Superintendent
                          • Feb 2008
                          • 2762

                          #13
                          Call it "Nursery Rhymes for Bad Boys and Girls - Guaranteed to give them Nightmares".

                          The cover can show a goose dressed in women's clothing that has been cooked.

                          Comment

                          • Stephen Thomas
                            Chief Inspector
                            • Feb 2008
                            • 1728

                            #14
                            Mary Mary, quite contrary

                            How does your garden grow?

                            I live in a slum with an unemployed bum

                            And we don't have no garden dontcha know.
                            Last edited by Stephen Thomas; 08-09-2013, 12:43 AM.
                            allisvanityandvexationofspirit

                            Comment

                            • Grimmspendulum
                              Cadet
                              • Oct 2012
                              • 7

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Bridewell View Post
                              A book of "nursery rhymes" about a man who killed and mutilated East End prostitutes? I won't be buying a copy.
                              Yet you're on a web sight devoted to the information about a "man who killed and mutilated East End prostitutes", and browsing through the creative writing section no less. So you'll read it just not pay for it. Makes sense...

                              Comment

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