Gilbert and Sullivan did it..

[andy1867]

I am the very model of a maniac most serial
a cricketer? a doctor? (maybe someone more imperial?)
first hunted by the london met, and lately on the Internet
tho' still they haven't caught me yet,the clues are not material

Dim alleys, darkened doorways, cobbled streets, they are my habitat
a single slash of shining steel, and sadly madam "that is that,"
As abdomen and blade they kiss, "I fink that thats the uterus,
if you don't mind I'm having this" ..I wipe me hands an' doff me hat




In Dutfields yard I nearly come a cropper , due to one wrong stride
I "Mitre" done it better, but they heard her cries so off i slide
and bump into another one, forlorn desperate woebegone...
I think she had an apron on,.. did I have chalk?..well you decide

[Ginger]

BWAHAHAHHH!!!


You really need to finish that!

[andy1867]

BWAHAHAHHH!!!


You really need to finish that!

I'd like to, but seems sometimes that such posts attract antipathy
though why this is I cannot hardly fathom for the life of me
"Ive not done nothing" ...there I give...another double negative..
and someone through me words will sieve........"A sentence not..." apparently

[RavenDarkendale]

Oy! Ye talk about the bodies
Ye talk about the blood
Ye talk about the faded ladies
Guts spilling like a flood

Ever man's me enemy
Cain't ever trust me mates
Alcohol is no remedy
But God knows we ain't saints

Problem is, o' mate o' mine
Ever since I were a nipper
Me birth certificate finds
Me legal name is Jack Ripper!

An' now this bloody razor man
What eats their kidneys like kippers
Has made this part o' his mad plan
Calls himself Jack the Ripper!

Think I better run and hide
Move across the river
Before th' bloody peelers decide
That I'm the bloomin' Ripper!

[Phil H]

When I was a boy I served a while
As a serial killer in Whitechapile,
I sliced the whores
With one indoors
And now I appear in many bookstores

[Pinafore with apologies]

Phil H

[andy1867]

So round and round and round we go inspecting every avenue
or alleyway in whitechapel, and god knows that we have a few,
from Millers court to Dorset st, the pattern still stands incomplete
which bobbies bobbed and on what beat?..we haven't got a bloody clue

[Mayerling]

Poor slaughtering one.
Thou has surely strayed.
Running with grace
Down alleys - no trace.
Poor slaughtering one..un.

Poor slaughtering one
Thou art surely bizaare
Let us just find
some piece of mind.
Take anyone's heart - but mine!

[Mayerling]

In enterprise of police kind, if there was any detecting
He led his forces from the Alps - He thought it not rejecting
the reason he had got his job; His vacation was at the fore-oh.
That celebrated, overrated spymaster, Sir Robert Ander-toro.

To ladies of the pave, ha ha!
He'd give them a curt wave, ha ah!
That blithering incompetent, Sir Rober Ander-toro!

[TomTomKent]

All:
He is a Ripper!
Bobbies:
He is a Ripper! Because he said it. And in his letters he did take credit! That he is a Ripper!
All:
That he is the Ripper!
Bobbies:
He might have been a cobbler, teacher or perhaps a hob-nobber
All:
Or perhaps a hob nobber!
Anderson:
Despite his dirty habbits We haven't quite cracked it
And he remains a Ripper
Yes he remains a Ripper
All:
Despite his killing spree
He is walking free
He remains a Ripper
He remains a Ripper
<Tempo Change>
Swanson:
An English Jack must be ready
To hold his knife ever steady
As he walks our parish streets
For the woman his mistreats...

[Errata]

In an office, by a river, Sir Melville Mcnaughten cried "Killer! One Killer! One Killer!

I said to him, Mcnaughten why do you sit shouting "Killer! One killer! One Killer!

"Is it a weakness of intellect, Melville?" I cried

'Or has evidence come that you keep deep inside?"

He shook his poor little head and replied "Killer! One killer! One killer!"

[Mayerling]

I have a knife to use - OHHH

Tell us of your knife --- OH!

It is used by a goon, 'neath an autumnel moon,
to remove some ladies ---OOOHHH!

It's the knife of a maniac, oh so free,
Who kills at will, and at liberty,
Due to idiotic police attempts,
and massive hysteria through tenements
in districts houseing the urban poor
whom seem to be shunned as a troubling bore!
By the upper stratum of society
Who feels it is safe, as safe can be,
And I feel full of evil glee,
As I do in another poor ladye -EYE!

Ah me, ah me...mysery thee! BYE- BYE LADYE!
I have my thrill. Only you are ill,
as I do in another poor ladye -EYE!!

[Cogidubnus]

Mikado

In an office, by a river, Sir Melville Mcnaughten cried "Killer! One Killer! One Killer!

I said to him, Mcnaughten why do you sit shouting "Killer! One killer! One Killer!

"Is it a weakness of intellect, Melville?" I cried

'Or has evidence come that you keep deep inside?"

He shook his poor little head and replied "Killer! One killer! One killer!"

As a G & S fan, a classical music lover, and a proud Brit I think this is pretty bloody clever...tit willow indeed...nice one errata


All the best

Dave

[Errata]

As a G & S fan, a classical music lover, and a proud Brit I think this is pretty bloody clever...tit willow indeed...nice one errata


All the best

Dave

It's kind of cheating as it is the only Gilbert and Sullivan I know. And only because I recited it at Forensics competitions in 8th grade. It's appalling that a Musical Theater major knows no G&S, but honestly it just never came up.

[TomTomKent]

It's kind of cheating as it is the only Gilbert and Sullivan I know. And only because I recited it at Forensics competitions in 8th grade. It's appalling that a Musical Theater major knows no G&S, but honestly it just never came up.

Am I the only one who thinks that Forensics Competitions should feature a Who soundtrack and lots of scnes shot from the bullets POV?

[Errata]

Am I the only one who thinks that Forensics Competitions should feature a Who soundtrack and lots of scnes shot from the bullets POV?

Yeah my first one was disappointing I can tell you