I hope this is'nt a repost, some brilliant creative writing

[Rubyretro]

Bunny -I am now almost as obsessed with the Trent/Padraigg mystery as I am with Jack The Ripper....and it has some of the same elements :

Who is Padraigg and why, after so much success (he rapidly got a fan base, internet bloggers nicking his keywords, and a Facebook group and a Twitter following ) did he suddenly stop ?

Why did he never ever give away the least bit of information about himself ?
Most people would bask in the compliments and interest and try to capitalise on growing fame...but not Padraiggg.

There was a huge burst of escalating activity, and then zilch.

I think that Padraiggg ...despite his claim to Trent being 'a first attempt', is/was a very literary man, and possibly an established writer having a 'bad writing' joke on that Creative Writing website :

-".It had always been Trents problem to treat women like objects. Like a nice bookcase or a €350,000 mansion."
The joke here is that Trent treats women like objects, but 'precious ones'.
Despite laughingly drawing the price out of a hat, a 'mansion' is a valuable object that needs alot of care.
the writer was obviously looking for 'conflict' in the object that he juxstaposed with the mansion, for comic effect...and I think that he wrote these chapters 'off the top of his head', so that for him 'a nice bookcase' spontaneously came before a 'nice car' or a 'nice watch'.
He is a man that likes women and books (OMG...I've got to find Padraigg. OK, so he's probably got a mansion...I'll have to put up with it).

Padraigg must have read 50,000,000 Bond-type novels and watched all the films. He has a perfect recall and synthesis of the clichés of the genre, and as I say, my feeling is that he wrote these pieces without much thought, as they came out (which is why they are so immediate and 'true'). I would guess that he is not as young as other people on other forums seem to think -45-55 is my guess.

I really think that Trent is based on Trent Reznor (that muscular man having sex with the fainted secretary over the antique dealer with the mashed up fingers and pottery pieces).

Padraiggg likes 90s music. He might look ordinary, but he likes Goths.

I would guess intuitively that Padraiggg would like the Ramones doing Pet Semetary

(I put that into italics because it is obvious guesswork and nothing to do with anything -nevertheless, I put that down just in case I track down Padraigg and to see how right or wrong I was).

I'm still searching for a clue and have a list of 'suspects' for Padraiggg -but you will have to wait until tomorrow...

[Archaic]

I would guess intuitively that Padraiggg would like the Ramones doing Pet Semetary[/I]

Ruby, you have a mind like a steel trap- the nice shiny kind, not the old pitted and rusty kind that makes creepy screechy noises like fingers on a blackboard when it tries to open and shut. I like your reasoning.

Of course Padraiggg/Trent likes the Ramones!

Any Ideal Man of Culture has to like the Ramones... or else they would no longer be Ideal! Or Cultured!

I agree that Padraiggg's of a literary turn of mind...he has to be, or else he couldn't have broken every single rule of English composition and emerged with so gripping a piece of work that Erudite Individuals all over the world are clamoring for a new chapter!

And he's definitely a bibliophile like us, because as you point out, he thinks of "new bookcase" before "mansion". Our kind of guy.

Keep digging, Ruby, you're doing great!

By the way, remind me to give you a raise. And a promotion.

Snapkick!
Archaic

[Rubyretro]

I'm quietly swooning, Bunny...Not only does my profile of Padraigg have him taking a woman out for the evening and treating her like a 350, 000 euro mansion, or his precious bookcase. He is also a genius writer with a sense of humour who likes the Ramones.

I've decided that he's got to be closer to 55.

And single.

And desperate.

But I'm not banking on it.

I am sure that he's not gay, at least....

[Bridewell]

I am sure that he's not gay, at least....

Well Trent certainly isn't

Regards, Bridewell.

[Rubyretro]

Well Trent certainly isn't

Regards, Bridewell.

Yes, Colin. My honed steel trap of a mind got that far.

[Rubyretro]

I know that it's sad, but I have a day off tomorrow and can afford to say up tonight rereading Trent...
"Trent felt a hand on his shoulder. At least he assumed it was a hand. His mind briefly ran through the other things it could of been, a bird? no that would of been obvious because of its claws and feathers, a leaf from a tree? too light. could his hat have fallen off his head? no he was very careful about his hat. Eventually he just turned his head to see what it was. A hand. "hahaha" Though Trent. "I knew it". "What are you looking at my hand for" said the hand owner. Trent turned round, he could of shot him there and then for that but his mind was on other things. "what is this on my shoulder, a hand? " and then "why is this hand on my shoulder " were the other things his mind was on, not shooting. "What do you want" said Trent. "I hear you can" The man paused. "solve problems" he said after the pause. Trent tried to think of something supercool to say like "Im not a maths teacher" or soemthing. He couldnt though because of the whole hand/shoulder thing. BANG! Trent shot the man! "I guess you won't be putting your hands on any shoulders now" said Trent. But he wasn't really happy with it.

[Archaic]

What Kind of Car Would Trent Drive?

Ruby, if I keep re-reading Trent I won't get any work done! But on the other hand ("hand", get it??) work doesn't seem very appealing right now.

What's more appealing is figuring out what kind of car Trent drives- of course it has to be vintage, because vintage cars are the coolest.

And it has to look good with a snappy hat. And a gun. Hmmm....



I'm thinking maybe a 1937 Bugatti Type 57S Atalante... Yeah.

I can totally picture Trent in that car, casually firing a machine gun out the window as he speeds away, leaving behind him a swath of broken antiques, fingers, necks, henchmen, random strangers, and hearts.


Archaic

[Beowulf]

Ruby, if I keep re-reading Trent I won't get any work done! But on the other hand ("hand", get it??) work doesn't seem very appealing right now.

What's more appealing is figuring out what kind of car Trent drives- of course it has to be vintage, because vintage cars are the coolest.

And it has to look good with a snappy hat. And a gun. Hmmm....



I'm thinking maybe a 1937 Bugatti Type 57S Atalante... Yeah.

I can totally picture Trent in that car, casually firing a machine gun out the window as he speeds away, leaving behind him a swath of broken antiques, fingers, necks, henchmen, random strangers, and hearts.


Archaic

and he might have a girl...

[Jason]

i reckon Trent will soon be on our screens.....i see a movie coming ....who would play him ?......

[jason_c]

and he might have a girl...

He will certainly have a hat.

[Rubyretro]

Suspect 1 for Padraiggg

Well, Bun, I've had a day off today and have been trying to track down my Padraiggg....and I've fallen madly, passionately, overthetoply in LOVE with my chief suspect.

It was inevitable, I suppose, that as soon as I set off with that glass Doc Martin and found a male foot that fit my profile perfectly, that lurve would inevitably follow........

Don't get too excited (infact, don't get excited at all and go away and stay away from 'my' man).

He may not be Padraiggg....there are a few little enormous details that hint that he isn't : a) (something hard to get around ) Padraigg /Trent thinks in euros...that mansion, and a body sliding to the floor like a '75 euro negligeé slipping from the shoulders of a beautiful woman' (or something like that) are clues. My suspect lives in Northern Ireland, where they don't use euros. b) There is nothing solid to connect my suspect to Trent and c) his name is not anything like Padraig…

However, he fits my profile to a Tee, and if he didn’t write Trent, then he easily could of. So I love him anyway. + I think that he looks hunky.

My interest is in Colin Bateman AKA the Northern Irish ‘comic crime’ writer ‘Bateman’ (note : just one word, like ‘Trent’ ).

This is a man who was cited by the Daily Telegraph as being in the’ top 50 best crime writers of all time’ –his opus includes ‘Dr Yes’, ‘The Horse With My Name’, ‘The Prisoner of Brenda’ and ‘The Day of The Jack Russell’. He wrote a children’s book called ‘Reservoir Pups’. He is such a good technical writer that he received an honorary doctorate from Queens’s University, his books have been studied there, and he applied (on encouragement ) to be a a lecturer on the Creative Writing course at the University, only to be denied even an interview since he doesn’t hold a degree but began his career as a journalist, starting off as a cub reporter (he’s 50 !). So that would give him a motive to surf Creative Writing sites –he wanted to be a teacher of the subject, at that time.

He writes incredibly fast, nearly off the top of his head (he touch types), and writes a novel a year as well as having written a play and film scripts (so that would fit with my Padraigg dashing off Trent in 10 minutes).

Colin is known for being politically incorrect, using random and gratuitous violence, and having heros that you can’t dislike even though you logically should . He loves Marvel comics.

Here are some quotes from an interview (or two. I can’t remember) : ‘‘I don’t write outlines for any of my books, but I think if you watch enough movies, you pickup intuitively how stories should work. I don’t worry about character arcs or intersecting plots »
This would fit with my padraiggg watching 50,000,000 films scenario
[B]
” One of my biggest influences in life has been punk rock, which was a massive part of my life when I was growing up,” Bateman says.
I told you - My Padraiggg likes the Ramones. I bet Bateman does too. Does he like Trent Reznor/NiN ? Col’s last book was called ‘Nine Inches’, and I can’t find a reason for the title.

The prolific writer (25 novels and counting) of comedy crime novels that began with DIVORCING JACK was recently rebranded ‘Bateman’ to coincide with the publication of a new series character who goes only by the name ‘Mystery Man’ as Bateman [I]spoofs the conventions of the traditional crime thriller.

There can hardly be a man more mysterious than Padraiggg (well except JTR).

www.colinbateman.com/ext_belfast.html (if the link doesn’t work, paste it into google). A ‘serious’ Padraiggg ? Perhaps –violence, humour, bad taste, onomatopoeia.

He’s taking the piss out of the flash car (prefers bookcases, no doubt). Co says that he values a personal letter and bit of music, both written by Joe Strummer, above all…so a man with soul.

But why the user name ‘Padraiggg’ ? St Patrick for Ireland (but C. is political and a protestant).
(the extra gs are the way that you pronounce the name in Ireland).

Patrick Bateman = American Psycho ?

You can contact Bateman directly through his website….I’m going to have to ask him the truth!
Well, if he’s not Padraiggg, I’ll bet that he’ll wish that he was…

[Archaic]

It was inevitable, I suppose, that as soon as I set off with that glass Doc Martin and found a male foot that fit my profile perfectly, that lurve would inevitably follow........

Wow, Ruby, I just pictured you with that glass Doc Marten slipper, searching for the princely foot that fits it...

Colin is known for being politically incorrect, using random and gratuitous violence, and having heros that you can’t dislike even though you logically should . He loves Marvel comics.

WOW! That DOES sound like the writer of Trent!!!!!!! Great detective work!!

... says that he values a personal letter and bit of music, both written by Joe Strummer, above all…so a man with soul.

Now that is cool!! The man has very good taste, and so do you.
Joe Strummer is a personal favorite of mine. I was lucky enough to get to meet him. I even have his personal set list from the last time he played Seattle, shortly before his very sad and untimely death. (I used my patented Stealth Moves to get it- it was taped to a speaker right in front of me, and the second the show & all the encores were over I boosted myself up onto the stage, removed it, and jumped back down before one of the venue's ginormous security guys could intercept me! Of course if Goliath had intercepted me, I'd of had to chopkick him...probably in his knee, because I'm on the small side.)

- Anyway, Bateman has passed the Coolness test; you may proceed.

Well, if he’s not Padraiggg, I’ll bet that he’ll wish that he was…

What are you going to do, bake yourself into a devil's-food cake and have it hand-delivered to his abode?

Or rappel down a line from a hovering stealth helicopter and slither in an upper window at midnight?


Have fun.

Call me from jail, OK?


Archaic

[Rubyretro]

Now that is cool!! The man has very good taste, and so do you.
Joe Strummer is a personal favorite of mine. I was lucky enough to get to meet him. I even have his personal set list from the last time he played Seattle, shortly before his very sad and untimely death. (I used my patented Stealth Moves to get it- it was taped to a speaker right in front of me, and the second the show & all the encores were over I boosted myself up onto the stage, removed it, and jumped back down before one of the venue's ginormous security guys could intercept me! Of course if Goliath had intercepted me, I'd of had to chopkick him...probably in his knee, because I'm on the small side.)

I'm impressed...I had tickets for the Clash in 1976 playing The Mermaid (in London) and there was an effing train strike (I was a young teenager with no alternative transport.

I mean, what a thing to miss !

Did you see that fab documentary, The Future is Already Written ? It was just so good...

Having said that, I was always a bigger fan of Mick Jones rather than Joe..
I will post some clips on 'What Music Are You Listening To..."

I have got other suspects for Padraiggg...(and I will post them eventually).
But I'm not convinced...

The thing is that Trent is very very good, and got everyone who met him 'into' him.

Why would that author not want to enjoy his 15 minutes ? Especially if he was a budding writer that wanted to break through..

His website was very professional, and he didn't even join his own Facebook group, and he set up a Twitter account, but there is not one single word about him -not even bare bones

If he had got a book deal (which he might logically have), it would be better to sustain interest in Trent, not let that interest die away...

The only reason that I can think of is that he doesn't need publicity, fame, and money....the best reason for not needing something, is that you already have it...

ps..I just re-read the last excerpt of Trent, and I might just have to read it again. Why don't doctors just prescribe Trent instead of prozac or viagra etc ?