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  • Serial Killer

    I’m not your stereotypical type of serial killer if there is such a thing. The experts, the police psychologists and profile builders will tell you there's an average picture they all work to.
    A serial killer is normally a white male in their twenties or thirties, who target strangers. Indeed they even detail percentages. For example 90% of serial killers are male, 85% are Caucasian. Okay I’ll give them that, yes I’m male and yes I’m white but that’s where the similarity ends. The average age when serial killers claim their first victim is around 29 years of age, 100% of all serial killers that we know of have had a criminal record. I‘m almost laughing as I tell you I have never been in trouble with the police before. I was 33 years of age when I first killed and had been planning my new career since I was about fourteen. It was something I was destined to do. In terms of victim selection, 65% of the killers target strangers. Again I’m a little different, I go after prostitutes I've visited before, I know them quite well. 70% of the killers operate in a specific location or area, rather than travelling wide distances to commit their crimes. That’s because they are stupid, have no money or a low paid job which tells them what time they start work, what time they leave, when they can eat and what time they take to the toilet. I kill all over the world though confess most of my victims are in the UK.
    Most serial killers are loners… unable to form an adult relationship and come from a dysfunctional home with a history of physical or sexual abuse.
    Again, that’s where I differ, I’m not a loner, in fact I’m a well respected pillar of society, people look at me with respect when I tell them what I do for a living.
    Last edited by kennyo; 08-15-2010, 10:05 AM.

  • #2
    and your address, Kennyo ?

    Don't tell Me ...Buckingham Palace ?
    http://youtu.be/GcBr3rosvNQ

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Rubyretro View Post
      and your address, Kennyo ?

      Don't tell Me ...Buckingham Palace ?
      Spittal Tongues.

      Comment


      • #4
        How about a semi-colon somewhere in there?
        best,

        claire

        Comment


        • #5
          We did get a Colon Powell on another thread.

          Some people are never satisfied.

          Comment


          • #6
            lol!!!

            Originally posted by Robert View Post
            We did get a Colon Powell on another thread.

            Some people are never satisfied.
            Hi Robert,

            Nice one mate, you're on top form tonight!!!

            Best wishes,

            Zodiac.
            And thus I clothe my naked villainy
            With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;
            And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.

            Comment


            • #7
              And this thread is about who?
              Best Wishes,
              Hunter
              ____________________________________________

              When evidence is not to be had, theories abound. Even the most plausible of them do not carry conviction- London Times Nov. 10.1888

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              • #8
                He'd beat me with the buckle of his belt, a slipper, his feet and fists and occasionally his rod. His rod was a three foot length of springy garden cane. 'Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell,' he'd shout and scream at me.
                He’d torture me, mentally and physically, play with my mind telling me lies about my mother calling her the vilest names under the sun. He’d put out lighted cigarettes on my skin for fun. The smell, a crazy smell worse than the pain itself sometimes. That smell I’ll never forget it, the scars I look upon every day as I pull on a shirt or a pair of trousers ensures that every day my fathers evil eyes fill my waking thoughts. Nevertheless my parents provided for my every need, I never went hungry we lived in a comfortable house and attended church every Sunday without fail. At church my father commanded a strange respect which I could never quite understand. Once a year we would take a family holiday, on the train, to Devon. I remembered long hot lazy days, playing in the sand and evenings spent walking along the sea front at Painton watching the sea rolling up the beach, the fishermen with huge sea rods casting out to sea and the glistening hungry mackerel flapping about in a final death throw as they were hauled onto the sandy beach and clubbed to death. Death and pain and yet…only a few hours before, a picture of tranquillity as small children frolicked in the light surf or constructed sandcastles with the flags of several nations stuck in makeshift turrets and battlements.

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                • #9
                  I’ve documented exactly my killings in this book and of course as you now know the book has been published and you believe you are reading a work of fiction don’t you? But I’ve been clever, giving out just enough information to tease the police and you my dear reader but not quite enough to give my identity away. Oh yes, and I’ve told one or two porkies along the way too. That’s the best bit or rather the most satisfying bit for me. Dropping an odd lie in there really sends the police off on a tangent. They’ll believe anything. Remember those tapes sent to Detective George Oldfield, around the time of the Yorkshire Ripper killings from a character with a north east accent calling him Jack. He had them fooled didn’t he as they played the tapes on prime time television.
                  “Hello I’m Jack,” he said. “I see your still having trouble catching me.”
                  Only he wasn’t Jack was he? But the silly bastards spent millions of pounds and man hours searching for a Jack who wasn’t Jack. And they haven’t found him to this day. The real Yorkshire Ripper, what about him? Oh they found him okay, in fact they had interviewed him five times. He just about fit the profile perfectly, a profile the so called experts had built up right down to the fact he drove a white van that several prostitutes had reported cruising the area when and where the killings had taken place. The police let Peter Sutcliffe and his white van walk off into the wide blue yonder an incredible five times and it wasn’t until they caught him with a brain and blood stained hammer over the body of prostitute barely alive did they suspect he might be the man they’d been looking for for the last few years.
                  The point I’m trying to make is that you have to be fairly stupid to get caught and I’m not stupid.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Is this typical of the standard of writing that publishers will pay a million quid advances for? If so, I'm going to have a go myself!

                    To quote a recent post by Kennyo on another thread: It's appalling!

                    Graham
                    We are suffering from a plethora of surmise, conjecture and hypothesis. - Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure Of Silver Blaze

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                    • #11
                      Not to mention you'd think someone with a million buck advance and 5000++ glowing reviews on Amazon wouldn't have to work so damn hard to drum up readers for his pulp.

                      Let all Oz be agreed;
                      I need a better class of flying monkeys.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Graham View Post
                        Is this typical of the standard of writing that publishers will pay a million quid advances for?
                        Oh yes. Mr-I-Forgot-My-Thorazine pays extremely well indeed
                        best,

                        claire

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          More Gems from the Million Dollar author!

                          and man hours searching for a Jack who wasn’t Jack. And they haven’t found him to this day.

                          Well that’s interesting; there was a programme on TV this week about this chap who is now doing time.

                          they caught him with a brain and blood stained hammer over the body of prostitute barely alive did they suspect he might be the man they’d been looking for for the last few years. (sic)


                          Well that will come as a surprise to, Sergeant Robert Ring and Constable Robert Hydes. They found in the back seat of his car, a Rover P6 I believe, with a prostitute. Silly them they must have missed the fact he was also clutching a blood stained hammer whilst standing over the body of yet another barely alive prostitute! Having owned several P6’s, I wouldn’t have thought there was enough room in the back, still we have this on the authority of a Million dollar advance author you has got a gazillion gold stars so it must be right!

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                          • #14
                            Oh really...

                            Originally posted by Ally View Post
                            Not to mention you'd think someone with a million buck advance and 5000++ glowing reviews on Amazon wouldn't have to work so damn hard to drum up readers for his pulp.
                            Sorry for being a bit dense here, but is this chap writing a book?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              [quote=Bob Hinton;144152]

                              Well that’s interesting; there was a programme on TV this week about this chap who is now doing time.

                              quote]

                              Hello, Bob.
                              Sorry to go off topic but do you have any details of the programme on Humble? I missed it and would be keen to catch a repeat. By the way, I used to own a P5B.

                              Best wishes,
                              Steve.

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