my poem...Autumn 1888

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  • babybird67
    Inspector
    • Apr 2009
    • 1146

    #1

    my poem...Autumn 1888

    Autumn 1888



    A curdled cry no human heart can hear,
    As shrieking wind tears living flesh-leaves bare,
    Betimes, an age ago, once verdant green and sheer
    In sunlight bright, now aged-brown and sere,
    Stripped screaming from their corpse, sliced in darkness, ear to ear.



    Dark dour detectives, streetlamps gaunt,
    Stand sentinel where sable shadows haunt
    Half desolate streets, like watching witnesses
    That see but can't discern, through pallid purblind eyes
    That flicker, fade and fail, as much more than darkness dies.



    Morn: drips drizzle, ever dreary, from the dismal sullen skies,
    Drops from cloudy curtains closing, as if shielding Heaven's eyes;
    Yet still the streets are dampening with the tears of someone's cries.
    While the world itself seems weeping for the woman who is lost
    Humanity, in darkness, keeps amnesic of the cost.
    babybird

    There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.

    George Sand
  • The Grave Maurice
    Premium Member
    • Feb 2008
    • 1674

    #2
    That's a very evocative and moving piece, bb. Thanks for sharing it.

    Comment

    • babybird67
      Inspector
      • Apr 2009
      • 1146

      #3
      hello TGM

      thank you for your kind comments.

      Evocative and moving were my aims, so I am glad you felt I had achieved those effects.

      Thanks again and I am glad you enjoyed reading it.

      Jen
      babybird

      There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.

      George Sand

      Comment

      • j.r-ahde
        Inspector
        • Feb 2008
        • 1148

        #4
        Hello Jen!

        Thank you for your piece!

        All the best
        Jukka
        Last edited by j.r-ahde; 12-15-2009, 07:52 PM.
        "When I know all about everything, I am old. And it's a very, very long way to go!"

        Comment

        • babybird67
          Inspector
          • Apr 2009
          • 1146

          #5
          hi Jukka

          you're welcome!

          I hope you enjoyed it.

          Jen
          babybird

          There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.

          George Sand

          Comment

          • Phil Carter
            Commissioner
            • Oct 2009
            • 4270

            #6
            bb67,

            Ditto Jukka's comments,

            Quite brilliant. Well done and thank you for sharing it with us.

            best wishes

            Phil
            Chelsea FC. TRUE BLUE. 💙


            Justice for the 96 = achieved
            Accountability? ....

            Comment

            • babybird67
              Inspector
              • Apr 2009
              • 1146

              #7
              hi Phil

              thank you so much for your very kind comments. I am glad you enjoyed it.

              Jen
              babybird

              There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.

              George Sand

              Comment

              • LongLiz
                Cadet
                • Nov 2009
                • 11

                #8
                woah i can almost see the scene!!

                Young girls of Mauthausen,

                Young girls of Belsen,

                Have you seen my love?

                Comment

                • babybird67
                  Inspector
                  • Apr 2009
                  • 1146

                  #9
                  thanks Liz

                  for your positive comments, and to everyone else who has left me a positive comment. Much appreciated.
                  babybird

                  There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.

                  George Sand

                  Comment

                  • Garry Wroe
                    Chief Inspector
                    • May 2009
                    • 1572

                    #10
                    Beautiful, Jen. And poignant. I can almost hear a Welsh choir.

                    Happy New Year.

                    Garry Wroe.

                    Comment

                    • babybird67
                      Inspector
                      • Apr 2009
                      • 1146

                      #11
                      why thank you Garry

                      and happy new year to you too.

                      Jen
                      babybird

                      There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.

                      George Sand

                      Comment

                      • DVV
                        Suspended
                        • Apr 2008
                        • 6014

                        #12
                        Happy new year to you Jen,

                        as you can guess, my English is too poor to appreciate the poem as I should...
                        But as a troubadour descendant I enjoyed reading it with my deep wonderful voice, and found the two first lines of each stanza remarkable. It sounds and have rythm.

                        Best wishes
                        David

                        Comment

                        • babybird67
                          Inspector
                          • Apr 2009
                          • 1146

                          #13
                          hello DVV

                          happy new year to you too.

                          Your English has always been eloquent to me, and thank you for your kind comments regarding my poem. I am glad it has rhythm and music.

                          Jen
                          babybird

                          There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.

                          George Sand

                          Comment

                          • Madam Red
                            Detective
                            • Feb 2010
                            • 158

                            #14
                            *stands up, giving a standing ovation* Bravo! Bravo! *only to realize that I'm in school and people are staring at me now*


                            What a brilliant piece, thanks for sharing it with us.
                            "You want to take revenge for my murdered sister? Sister would definitely have not ... we would not have wanted you to be like this."

                            ~ Angelina Durless

                            Comment

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