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It’s quite hard to put the “jolly” into JTR, but I’m feeling festive. Altogether now…
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
On the first day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A Pole called Kosminski.
On the second day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the third day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the fourth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the fifth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the sixth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the seventh day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the eighth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the ninth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Writer of a Diary
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the tenth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A mad Yankee Quack
Writer of a Diary
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski..
On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A very soggy Monty
A mad Yankee Quack
Writer of a Diary
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Yet to be discovered
A very soggy Monty
A mad Yankee Quack
Writer of a Diary
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
(Apologies if this makes no sense to those outside the UK)
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
On the first day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A Pole called Kosminski.
On the second day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the third day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the fourth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the fifth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the sixth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the seventh day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the eighth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the ninth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Writer of a Diary
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the tenth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A mad Yankee Quack
Writer of a Diary
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski..
On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
A very soggy Monty
A mad Yankee Quack
Writer of a Diary
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
The Ripper seemed to be:
Yet to be discovered
A very soggy Monty
A mad Yankee Quack
Writer of a Diary
Mr Thomas Cutbush
Poor old Walter Sickert
Known to Mary Kelly
J – K – Stephen
A manic Midwife
Prince Albert Victor
A Merchant Seaman
And a Pole called Kosminski.
(Apologies if this makes no sense to those outside the UK)
"What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"" From Pyramids by Sir Terry Pratchett, a British National Treasure. 
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