Cross??..I'm bloody fuming!

[andy1867]

Logging in on here, lookin' up "Lechmere"
wonderin' if the bugger wrote "Dear Boss"
didn't have a clue that an alias or two
had thrown me, and crikey I was Cross!

Pickfords carters, royal non starters,
painters? ...Lowry matchsticks in a line
threw him in the mix, but despite some clever tricks
couldn't sort it...(He was age 1 at the time)

To an fro I flit, its a load of Isenschmid
I think I really ought to Packer tin
but in I log again, end up thinkin' to Mizen..
"Sickert knew it so he DRUITT!!!"...

once again

[Pcdunn]

Ha! Very amusing! Thanks for sharing your verse, Andy.

[GUT]

Clever.

[GUT]

Now work in Tumblety, and Kozminski.

[andy1867]

Now work in Tumblety, and Kozminski.

I am a moustached Yankee ,and my calling it is medical
l walk the streets of London and the whores TUMBLE ,TYrannical!
Once chewin' on a uterus, on glancing down thought "what is this?, "
A diner in the gutter sits, looking quite maniacal

Well me being not the one to judge a diner or his habitat
in case he chanced to ask the question, "god why are you eating that!"
I gave a polite cough above, and asked "What are you doing love?"
he then said "keep yer AARON Guv" I'm simply dining... "A la cat"

[Sam Flynn]

Time to dust this one off again!

I am the very devle of a homicidal criminal
In leaving clues and billets-doux and messages subliminal.
Some people think that I was born an heir to Crown Imperial
Or that I am a surgeon, quack or other such material;
Some swear I am an escapee from Bedlam or The Priory
Or claim I write confessions in a flirty, dirty diary;
And theorists who swear I am a madman from the milit'ry
And seek my where- and there-abouts with tactics dull and dilat'ry.
Despite all that I use my knife with cunning and impunity
And mystify the Law as if I have a strange immunity.
In short, by sending billets-doux and messages subliminal,
I am the very devle of a homicidal criminal!

I'm not averse to writing verse and punning, purple prosody
Or taunting vigilantes with a poison-penned ferocity,
Al-fresco amputations carried out with gay frivolity
And posting off the offal with a letter just for jollity.
I scoff at those who think that I'm incorrigibly dastardly
Or that I wear an apron with my trouser-leg half-mastedly,
Or that I am a sinner with a penchant for idolatry -
In truth such vices as I have are secretive and solit'ry.
I trip the dark fantastic with phenomenal celerity
Engage in deathly dances with a terrible temerity
And so, by leaving billets-doux and messages subliminal
I am the very devle of a homicidal criminal!

I'm held by sleuthing amateurs to be one of the Peerage,
Or yet a merchant seaman come from Lisbon stowed in steerage,
Or that I am a rotten cotton-merchant down from Battlecrease,
Or even Lewis Carroll - if I were, then Wonders never cease!
Some say I am a barber from some harbour on the Vistula,
Or that I am a painter with a dainty little fistula,
A transatlantic actor with a dual personality,
Or suicidal barrister of dubious morality.
The fact that I was none of those is quite self-evidentiary
And who I was, you shall not know for yet another century
Because, in truth, I left no proof or messages subliminal
I shall remain the devle of a homicidal criminal!

[andy1867]

Excellent..Do you think we could solve it in verse?

[andy1867]

Me and Sam obviously think it was either Gilbert or Sullivan or both in collusion..
Eddowes "Pinafore"..eh?

[Sam Flynn]

Eddowes "Pinafore"..eh?

... ooh, nice one! Never thought of that

[Sam Flynn]

Excellent..Do you think we could solve it in verse?

Rhyme might work where reason has failed.

[GUT]

I am a moustached Yankee ,and my calling it is medical
l walk the streets of London and the whores TUMBLE ,TYrannical!
Once chewin' on a uterus, on glancing down thought "what is this?, "
A diner in the gutter sits, looking quite maniacal

Well me being not the one to judge a diner or his habitat
in case he chanced to ask the question, "god why are you eating that!"
I gave a polite cough above, and asked "What are you doing love?"
he then said "keep yer AARON Guv" I'm simply dining... "A la cat"

Sams was better.

[andy1867]

Sams was better.

I would have to agree

[GUT]

I would have to agree

But both were better than anything I could come up with.

[Harry D]

I am the very devle of a homicidal criminal
In leaving clues and billets-doux and messages subliminal.
Some people think that I was born an heir to Crown Imperial
Or that I am a surgeon, quack or other such material;
Some swear I am an escapee from Bedlam or The Priory
Or claim I write confessions in a flirty, dirty diary;
And theorists who swear I am a madman from the milit'ry
And seek my where- and there-abouts with tactics dull and dilat'ry.
Despite all that I use my knife with cunning and impunity
And mystify the Law as if I have a strange immunity.
In short, by sending billets-doux and messages subliminal,
I am the very devle of a homicidal criminal!

I'm not averse to writing verse and punning, purple prosody
Or taunting vigilantes with a poison-penned ferocity,
Al-fresco amputations carried out with gay frivolity
And posting off the offal with a letter just for jollity.
I scoff at those who think that I'm incorrigibly dastardly
Or that I wear an apron with my trouser-leg half-mastedly,
Or that I am a sinner with a penchant for idolatry -
In truth such vices as I have are secretive and solit'ry.
I trip the dark fantastic with phenomenal celerity
Engage in deathly dances with a terrible temerity
And so, by leaving billets-doux and messages subliminal
I am the very devle of a homicidal criminal!

I'm held by sleuthing amateurs to be one of the Peerage,
Or yet a merchant seaman come from Lisbon stowed in steerage,
Or that I am a rotten cotton-merchant down from Battlecrease,
Or even Lewis Carroll - if I were, then Wonders never cease!
Some say I am a barber from some harbour on the Vistula,
Or that I am a painter with a dainty little fistula,
A transatlantic actor with a dual personality,
Or suicidal barrister of dubious morality.
The fact that I was none of those is quite self-evidentiary
And who I was, you shall not know for yet another century
Because, in truth, I left no proof or messages subliminal
I shall remain the devle of a homicidal criminal!