"Prey Time"

[Cody75111]

Brilliant piece of writing

www.trevormarriott.co.uk

Trevor, please tell me you can see what's very,very, almost offensively wrong with the paragraph I highlighted.

[Trevor Marriott]

At least I'm not a delusional narcissist who scribbles off some ungrammatical dross and tries to con people into paying their hard-earned money for my half-assed, sloppy, mental vomit.

But then what else could one expect from a man who constantly perpetuates "frauds" from plagiarizing other people's (better) work to passing himself off as "The Great Murder Detective".

Thank you for those comments which just shows to people just what an evil tongued person you are and for those remarks you should be banned but you won't be because Menges wont ban you.

I don't even want to engage with you further its coming up to Halloween so you are in the right place to portray the wicked Witch of the West

https://www.trevormarriott.co.uk

[Ally]

Prey Time by T. Marriott
pg 132...

'Rabbi Cohen turns to the group and tells them, "I am going to
pray for you all, and remind you of the words spoken by our
saviour Jesus on the cross. Father forgive them for they know not
what they do. " With that he leaves the room and the shop.'

Oh my, Trevor.

Snicker.

[Ally]

By your sarcastic posts, it would seem that grocery lists are all you are capable of writing and to be fair I don't give a toss what anyone thinks of my work I am happy with the project.

www.trevormarriott.co.uk

At least I'm not a delusional narcissist who scribbles off some ungrammatical dross and tries to con people into paying their hard-earned money for my half-assed, sloppy, mental vomit.

But then what else could one expect from a man who constantly perpetuates "frauds" from plagiarizing other people's (better) work to passing himself off as "The Great Murder Detective".

[Trevor Marriott]

Prey Time by T. Marriott
pg 132...

'Rabbi Cohen turns to the group and tells them, "I am going to
pray for you all, and remind you of the words spoken by our
saviour Jesus on the cross. Father forgive them for they know not
what they do. " With that he leaves the room and the shop.'

Oh my, Trevor.

Brilliant piece of writing

https://www.trevormarriott.co.uk

[Trevor Marriott]

I really ought to offer a class... Everyone seems to think that because they spend their lives arguing with fools on the internet, they have what it takes to write anything more complicated than a grocery list.

Editors serve an important function. People ought to use them. Sigh....

By your sarcastic posts, it would seem that grocery lists are all you are capable of writing and to be fair I don't give a toss what anyone thinks of my work I am happy with the project.

https://www.trevormarriott.co.uk

[Cody75111]

Prey Time by T. Marriott
pg 132...

'Rabbi Cohen turns to the group and tells them, "I am going to
pray for you all, and remind you of the words spoken by our
saviour Jesus on the cross. Father forgive them for they know not
what they do. " With that he leaves the room and the shop.'

Oh my, Trevor.

[Ally]

I really ought to offer a class... Everyone seems to think that because they spend their lives arguing with fools on the internet, they have what it takes to write anything more complicated than a grocery list.

Editors serve an important function. People ought to use them. Sigh....

[Trevor Marriott]

Cody isn't kidding about the work not even being proof-read. Here's a sample sentence:

Doyle smiling "Non-other Miss"

The advantage of historical fiction is that you don't have to create the setting or some of the characters. But that's also a disadvantage, you can't just ignore actual history and biography. Yet Trevor does this, repeatedly.

He kills off Joseph Bell in summer of 1887. In history, he lived till 1911.
Bell's three real children don't seem to exist.
The fictional Emma Bell has been working in the United States for the last 6 years, which means she was born several years before Joseph Bell married.
Arthur Conan Doyle is somehow in his mid-fifties instead of his late 30s.
Doyle has multiple children 2 years before any of his were born.
Emma Bell has read Sherlock Holmes stories and Doyle is famous for them six months before the first Sherlock Holmes story was published.

If Trevor has done any research, it doesn't show. If dining at a hotel, overcoats would be taken by a cloakroom attendant, not a waiter. And who would wear an overcoat in June?

Add in stilted dialog, non-existent descriptions of anything, and no hint of observational or deductive skills on the part of the protagonist.

Good luck with that screenplay, Trevor.

The book as stated is part fact and part fiction, something you cant seem to comprehend but seem to be only too quick to criticise before you have fully understood the concept and storyline and I would guess you haven't even read the book

https://www.trevormarriott.co.uk

[Fiver]

No, I obviously haven't read your script apart from the first 3 pages which are currentlly masquerading as the first 3 pages of your novel. Look I don't wanna be rude or anything but you're expecting people to pay for this. The book hasn't been edited or proof-read and I spotted 3 anachronisms in the first 3 pages.

The reason screenwriters use the tense you've used is because it's purely functional. Scripts are not meant to be great literature they're a blueprint for the myriad of other people working on the film in a myriad of jobs. These people don't want to be reading big paragraphs of fancy prose with descriptions of countryside, character's thoughts or characters clothes especially as it's their job to figure out that. They want simple to the point sentences describing actions/action. The people who do like lengthy descriptive passages and details of surroundings and what the heroine is wearing, are novel readers. Which is why novelists don't employ the present continuous tense. It doesn't give them any room to do what novelists actually do. Detailed descriptions of location, character yadda yadda yadda..

Cody isn't kidding about the work not even being proof-read. Here's a sample sentence:

Doyle smiling "Non-other Miss"

The advantage of historical fiction is that you don't have to create the setting or some of the characters. But that's also a disadvantage, you can't just ignore actual history and biography. Yet Trevor does this, repeatedly.

He kills off Joseph Bell in summer of 1887. In history, he lived till 1911.
Bell's three real children don't seem to exist.
The fictional Emma Bell has been working in the United States for the last 6 years, which means she was born several years before Joseph Bell married.
Arthur Conan Doyle is somehow in his mid-fifties instead of his late 30s.
Doyle has multiple children 2 years before any of his were born.
Emma Bell has read Sherlock Holmes stories and Doyle is famous for them six months before the first Sherlock Holmes story was published.

If Trevor has done any research, it doesn't show. If dining at a hotel, overcoats would be taken by a cloakroom attendant, not a waiter. And who would wear an overcoat in June?

Add in stilted dialog, non-existent descriptions of anything, and no hint of observational or deductive skills on the part of the protagonist.

Good luck with that screenplay, Trevor.

[Trevor Marriott]

No, I obviously haven't read your script apart from the first 3 pages which are currentlly masquerading as the first 3 pages of your novel. Look I don't wanna be rude or anything but you're expecting people to pay for this. The book hasn't been edited or proof-read and I spotted 3 anachronisms in the first 3 pages.

The reason screenwriters use the tense you've used is because it's purely functional. Scripts are not meant to be great literature they're a blueprint for the myriad of other people working on the film in a myriad of jobs. These people don't want to be reading big paragraphs of fancy prose with descriptions of countryside, character's thoughts or characters clothes especially as it's their job to figure out that. They want simple to the point sentences describing actions/action. The people who do like lengthy descriptive passages and details of surroundings and what the heroine is wearing, are novel readers. Which is why novelists don't employ the present continuous tense. It doesn't give them any room to do what novelists actually do. Detailed descriptions of location, character yadda yadda yadda..

I feel really bad now so I'm actually gonna buy your book cos I wanna go to heaven or equivalent eternal domain.
But, like I wrote, you are charging people for this so I think this is just on the right side of fair.
Perhaps you could post the first couple of pages of the script here and prove me wrong.
All the best Trevor.

The script is an adaptation of the book, of course, the script is going to mirror the content of the book.

Of course, I accept that the screenplay is far from ready to be made straight into a film I know how the film business works but the groundwork has been done. Should a production company take it on I know they will employ others to top and tail it and make the adjustments needed

https://www.trevormarriott.co.uk

[Cody75111]

No, I obviously haven't read your script apart from the first 3 pages which are currentlly masquerading as the first 3 pages of your novel. Look I don't wanna be rude or anything but you're expecting people to pay for this. The book hasn't been edited or proof-read and I spotted 3 anachronisms in the first 3 pages.

The reason screenwriters use the tense you've used is because it's purely functional. Scripts are not meant to be great literature they're a blueprint for the myriad of other people working on the film in a myriad of jobs. These people don't want to be reading big paragraphs of fancy prose with descriptions of countryside, character's thoughts or characters clothes especially as it's their job to figure out that. They want simple to the point sentences describing actions/action. The people who do like lengthy descriptive passages and details of surroundings and what the heroine is wearing, are novel readers. Which is why novelists don't employ the present continuous tense. It doesn't give them any room to do what novelists actually do. Detailed descriptions of location, character yadda yadda yadda..

I feel really bad now so I'm actually gonna buy your book cos I wanna go to heaven or equivalent eternal domain.
But, like I wrote, you are charging people for this so I think this is just on the right side of fair.
Perhaps you could post the first couple of pages of the script here and prove me wrong.
All the best Trevor.

[Ms Diddles]

Congratulations Trevor, and good luck with the screenplay.

I will give this a go!

[Trevor Marriott]

i mean, good luck with the book Trevor as you seem to have written it using present (continuous) tense. I don't think I've ever read or even heard of a novel using that particular tense. It's almost as if you wrote a script (where present continuous tense is standard) and reformatted it so you could try and flog it as a novel. You're either incredibly brave or incredibly half-arsed...

But you haven't read the script so how can you form that opinion, and every writer has his own style of writing.

Have you read the book ?

https://www.trevormarriott.co.uk

[Cody75111]

i mean, good luck with the book Trevor as you seem to have written it using present (continuous) tense. I don't think I've ever read or even heard of a novel using that particular tense. It's almost as if you wrote a script (where present continuous tense is standard) and reformatted it so you could try and flog it as a novel. You're either incredibly brave or incredibly half-arsed...