November 9 - RIP Mary

[EmaEm]

Thank you Abby, and well done. x

[belinda]

For Mary Jane KellY

My Tribute





My Name Is Mary.There was another one last night.I made Joe read it to me again and again.That makes three now. This one was much worse. All cut up she was, ripped up the newspapers said .Some men found her. Lying in the Street ,at first they thought she was just passed out ,nothing unusual in that around here, but then they had a closer look. Went off to get a Copper but while they were looking one came along and found her.Pity he hadn't been about a bit soonerShe might still be alive,might even have caught him.Some hope.Her name was Polly Mary Anne really and I'm Mary Jane.Got them all calling me Marie though,maybe one day I'll find somebody to teach me proper French.I'd like that.I suppose I must have seen her in the pub sometime.Joe says not to worry about it, must be one of the gangs around here but I don't this seems different somehow.I wonder what the Inquest will say about this one maybe I'll go and see for myself.This room might not be much to some but at least I feel safe here and it's more than Polly had it said she was dossing and had been in the workhouse in Lambeth.I don't know what I'd do without Joe to help me with the rent ,well,I do but I don't want to go back to that this time I'm going to stay straight get work,maybe I could be a bar maid Joe says I spend too much time in the pub still as long as Joes got work we'll be all right I'm worried about the rent though we're starting to get behind

I made Joe read me all the reports from the Inquest.The Coroner is called Wynne Baxter,I wonder if he's Welsh.I wish I was back in Wales now.They searched the whole area and not a trace did they find of the killer.How can a man just vanish like that?It's bad enough in this place,they don't care about us if it had been some Society women who had been done away with like this the Peelers would've had him caught and hanged by now.The world doesn't care about us. I don't think they know we're here.I can't believe it Joe's just told me there's been another already.Her name was Annie,Annie Chapman but they called her Dark Annie.I know that name I'm sure I do.They found her in Hanbury Street.It was horrible worse than the last one her throat was cut clean through.Oh,I can't bear to think about it. What kind of monster could do that to a helpless woman.They have somebody they think has done this but they only know him as Leather Apron,that's familliar too.I've heard others talk but I never took it serious.I hope they catch him soon.The newspapers said Annie was turned out of her lodgings because she did not have the money for a bed.Fancy turning a woman out on the streets with the last murder so fresh.Callous they are.The rent still isn't paid.But we have an understanding.We fought about it again last night Joe doesn't understand,he's always on at me spending to much at the Pub.It's not like he never has a drink.I have such a bad feeling .I think he's watching me.I went there,to Hanbury Street.I had to see for myself.There was such a crowd .Made me sickTo think of it .The death of a poor unfortunate woman is entertainment to them..AllRespectable they make themselves out to be but look at them now.They don't know what it's like on the streets.Fallen women they call us,what do they know,so high and mighty but I see some familliar faces.Not so high and mighty when they're creeping from my room. Some people were sure they could see bloodstains but I'm not sure,then I didn't look that close.Ghouls.I know Joe would say I'm being stupid but I could feel her presence there.I could feel her fear.I could feel him too,such evil such hate.There were great crowds outside the police station too.I didn't stop though.We're all thinking the same thing any one of us could be next.Four of us dead already and still nobody caught.The police are fools, they catch up with us quick enough.All they have to do is find one man.I know some as say it's more but I don't think so.I wonder if he's here now watching us.

I was talking to Liz,who lives upstairs,I said whenever I see a stranger look at me I wonder if it's him.She said she feels the same,Told me she's started carrying a knife ,she said I should too.If the coppers won't protect us then we have to look out for ourselves.She's right I want one, a good sharp one.She had her little kitten with her.Such a sweet little thing she's called him Diddles.poor little devil I suppose he'll get used to it.I'd love a kitten of my own for company.Reminds me of home.Things were so different then.How did it come to this?.I'm thinking of leaving here.I don't like it anymore.It's not turned out the way I imagined it would.They made me such promises and gave me such pretty things but that soon ended.I should have known there'd be a price to pay.They were so nice at first,too nice but how was I to know.

I should never have left home.I was doing all right but they made me such grand promises.What a fool I was.Fell right into their trap.Every day that passes I keep wondering if it'll happen again.The newspapers have been saying that it has to be somebody foreign.People aren't staying out like they used to,it's strange the streets being so quiet.Only the police about.They've brought extra in from all over the place.I hope this has scared him off,yet somehow I still feel he's out there,waiting.I did laugh when Joe read to me how the peelers are nailing bits of rubber to the soles of their boots.They think they'll make less noise that way,who knows maybe one day we'll all have rubber on our boots.People are setting up all sorts of committies,a Mr Lusk has started the Whitechappel Vigilance Committie.They are collecting money to offer a reward.The police won't,they say it won't help,fools,there's nothing money can't buy.Joe and me aren't getting on so well lately.We seem to argue more than anything else.The rent is getting further behind.We'll end up on the street.I could make the money easy but Joe doesn't want me going back to that kind of life.Easy enough for him to say but I'm so worried we'll end up dossing and that's what the other poor souls were doing if they'd had a home to go to maybe they'd still be alive.Joe doesn't like me to talk like this but I've had this feeling,a bad feeling.It got stronger after I went to Hanbury Street. I still think he's watching me. I knew there would be another murder Joe says it's nonsense but my Gran, she knew things too.I so want to leave here.I've got to get away.I know I've got to get away from here.Oh I can't stop shaking.It's awful,it's just too awful.There've been two,two in one night.Maria got me some Brandy,she's here with me now.Joe's gone to wait for the newspapers.The first one was in Berner Street and the second in Mitre Square.I don't know how many times I've been through there and it always gives me chills.Supposed to be haunted it is.I wish I could stop shaking.I knew he was still here.I could feel him.Joe said I was silly saying that but now he knows.I was right.You should have seen the look on his face,went all white he did.Joe doesn't understand.She's going to be stopping with us for a while,she was put out of her lodgings so I'm letting her stay here.Joe doesn't want her to stay but I can't let her be out on those streets.She stays.Joe and I aren't getting on at all anymore,the rent is well past due.I don't know where we are going to end up but as long as I can help Maria I will.I won't let Jack get her.Joe has gone.He said my letting Maria stay was the final straw.So I am back on the streets,what else can I do.He's out there and I'm out there.Joe still helps me out a bit but now he's lost his job he can only help so much.I got a knife like Liz said to.I keep it under my apron just in case.The rent is way past due but John understands, he's good to me I suppose.I want to get away from here.As soon as I can get enough money I am going to leave.Maybe go up North,maybe even Scotland but for sure I am leaving here before he can get to me.I try to be careful but ,well,when I've had a little to help me through,I get careless and it's not as though I can pick and choose,not now anyway.Maybe I should have stayed in France but he'd have gotten tired of me then where would I have been.How did I get into this mess.When I got married I didn't expect to end up a widow so young.I should have thought about it more,marrying a miner but,well no point dwelling on what might nave been.I'm glad I'm not on my own.Maria is such good company though we're spending too much time in the pub .We've both got our share of sorrows to drown.I've got to cut down on the Drink.When I think back,it was only when I took to drinking thatthings went bad.I can never stop at just one,that's my trouble.Don't know if I could do it,go out on those streets sober .At least when I'm drunk I don't remember.Well I must do what I must.I've practically no money left and I need something to eat.I managed to get a little to eat. I managed to have a little to drink as well. Still it will set me up for my "visitor" later. Mrs Cox called out to me as I was coming in earlier,I'm not sure she really liked my singing, on the stage that's where I should be. On the stage singing in the Music Halls. I could have grand dresses again and my own carriage. I need never worry about money again. I'm as good as any of them as are singing now. I'd never have to depend on anybody for money again.I saw George earlier but he was broke as I am. He's still out there. Sweet on me he is.I like to think he's watching out for me, my own little guardian angel.I'm not sure about Mr Visitor. Still his price is right and if he should get a little rowdyGeorge is out there.I should be getting ready he'll be here soon. Oh I am tired, if I didn't need the money so much I'd send him on his way but not tonight Marie, not tonight. A grand name for the stage Marie Jeanette. Maybe John could help me, I'll ask him he's got some connections he could help me. I know I could be better than all of them. Maybe when I get back from the Lord Mayors Show I'll go and talk to him. He'd know the people I should talk to.Oh blast it, Mr Visitor is here already, sure isn't he the keen one. Well best to get it over with.Goodness, I must have fallen asleep. What are you still doing here? I told you to let yourself out when you were ready to go. What are you doing? Oh God, oh no, oh it can't be, Lord help me, no, no, no.


.

[Pcdunn]

Belinda, that was very nice. I liked it!