My theory

[Sam Flynn]

Choux, Sam, before you get too puffed up. Mr Pastry may have been a crusty old man but he could still have whispered suet nothings in an unfortunate's ear before he made her crumble.

Don't forget the croissant-neuf... it's almost the same as what you think it is, except that it also involves liberal quantities of butter.

[caz]

Hi Sam,

So not too far removed from the last can of Tango and a Parisienne loaf?

Where do the egg whisk, flying goggles and stick of celery come in? On second thoughts, don't answer that.

Hi Robert,

Mr Pastry half-baked? Mais pas du tout, mon petit chou(x).

Simply put, Mr Pastry was the sort to slice up any girl who kneaded his dough badly.

Love,

Caz
X

[Robert]

Poor Mr Pastry! You'll be saying next that it all started when a woman got hold of his rolling PIN number and stole all his cash - and mocked his sausage roll to boot.

[Stephen Thomas]

Don't forget the croissant-neuf... it's almost the same as what you think it is, except that it also involves liberal quantities of butter.

Nice one, Sam.

And isn't it strange that the French have the same name for soixante-neuf that we do? I don't reckon Mr Pastry dunnit because none of the witnesses mentioned a Norwegian hat. And not a Dutch Cap either I believe.

But definitely a suspicious looking character.......

[Robert]

Mister Lusk
Sir
I send you half the steak and kidney pie I took from one woman...

[jenna syde]

sex or no sex

it really does not matter if the ripper had sex with any of his victims or not. so taunts of small or big are just as wild as the dead of mutilating a body. there are plenty of sane men that could have done that. just look at the killer of today. they are normal looking very sane men. as for Jack the Ripper to cut out organs sugest he thought about his killings and injoyed the trill of taking a trophy.

[jenna syde]

what ar your thoughts on the organs being trophies of the kill

[Sam Flynn]

But definitely a suspicious looking character.......
[ATTACH]4668[/ATTACH]

Egad! It's "Lampwick" from the Dick Emery Show!

[caz]

And isn't it strange that the French have the same name for soixante-neuf that we do?

Hi Stephen,

I thought you would have been able to figure that one out.

Hi Robert,

Poor Mr Pastry??

He and his one-time partner in cookery, Fanny Cradock, may well have a lot to answer for.

His rage could easily have been triggered by an unfortunate misunderstanding if a regular female customer, loaded up with provisions from his patisserie, had innocently remarked that his sausage turnover tasted "just like Fanny's".

By the time she saw the size of his hot mince pies, and the glistening pastry cutter in his hand, she would have had her last melting moments. He could have left a little flour on her bodice after grabbing her dumplings, then divided up her cherry pie and even had time to make some flapjacks and nick her mince pie lids before making off with her bloomers.

Food for thought?

Love,

Caz
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[Robert]

Caz, there could be a grain of truth in what you say, for I feel that the Yeast End Murderer was no cottager like Tumblety. No, he was just a bloke who took offence when a woman squeezed him to see if he was fresh.

In Hanbury St he used his loaf and left her next to a doorstep.

One oddity is that if the murderer had been of any other trade, the woman at No, 12 would have died, instead of Kelly.

Perhaps he was a nimble lad like Tommy Cutbush who was his Mother's Pride, or maybe a bit older like Druitt who threw himself to the ducks when he found himself demoted to the second eleaven.

Sadly it's too late to ask Wilf Gregg, though Fidough might give us a hint.

[caz]

Hi Robert,

There are more than enough crumbs here to consider a new ripper movie, featuring 13 victims of the Whitechapel Slicer:

The Dirty Baker's Dozen.

Now we just need the bread delivered, and with an endorsement from a popular tabloid it will be Sun blessed.

Love,

Caz
X

[Robert]

Indeed Caz. My choice for the kneading role would be Paul Shane (Ted Hovis of Hi-De-Hi) who could play a scone-addicted Abberline, while Christopher Lee (The Man With The Golden Bun) would make an ideal villain.

[caz]

Hi Robert,

The film's a no-go I'm afraid. I've just had a very irate phonecall from a Mrs Vera Spottiswood of the Purley Wheat Intolerance Society.

Oh well, back to the pastry board.

Love,

Caz
X

[Robert]

Caz, how very convenient for the murderer that this film has been breadbinned at the last moment.

It is my opinion that WM was the WM.

As a further clue to the identity of the Whitechapel Murderer, I give you the following :

Pshhtik-kapoom-bah, pshhtik-kapoom-bah....

[caz]

Not sure I'm on the right track, Robert, but you couldn't be fingering Windy Miller could you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzr_fJIx6fo

Love,

Caz
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