My theory

[Robert]

Poor Mr Pastry! You'll be saying next that it all started when a woman got hold of his rolling PIN number and stole all his cash - and mocked his sausage roll to boot.

[caz]

Hi Sam,

So not too far removed from the last can of Tango and a Parisienne loaf?

Where do the egg whisk, flying goggles and stick of celery come in? On second thoughts, don't answer that.

Hi Robert,

Mr Pastry half-baked? Mais pas du tout, mon petit chou(x).

Simply put, Mr Pastry was the sort to slice up any girl who kneaded his dough badly.

Love,

Caz
X

[Sam Flynn]

Choux, Sam, before you get too puffed up. Mr Pastry may have been a crusty old man but he could still have whispered suet nothings in an unfortunate's ear before he made her crumble.

Don't forget the croissant-neuf... it's almost the same as what you think it is, except that it also involves liberal quantities of butter.

[Robert]

Mr Pastry? Dare I say that the idea is half-baked?

[caz]

Choux, Sam, before you get too puffed up. Mr Pastry may have been a crusty old man but he could still have whispered suet nothings in an unfortunate's ear before he made her crumble.

We may even have another case of folie à deux (or French fancies) as Mr Pastry had a flan-fling with Flo Nightingale, inventor of the pie chart.

See? 'My theory' can be as simple as pie.

Love,

Caz
X

[Sam Flynn]

All this Sooty research is drawing attention away from the seriously dodgy candidate - 'Mr Pastry'

I'd dismiss him if I were you, Suzi. The evidence is too flaky.

[Robert]

Kosminski appears with unmuzzled dog.

Kosminski (sings) : One man went to rip
Went to rip an Eddowes
One man and his dog
Went to rip an Eddowes

(Cutbush appears)

Kosminski : Two men went to rip
Went to rip an Eddowes
(Kosminski kills Cutbush)
One man and his dog
Went to rip an Eddowes
(enter Warren with Barnaby and Burgho)

Kosminski : (confused) Two men went to rip
Went to rip an Eddowes
Two men and three dogs
Went to rip an Eddowes
(Hickock's Wild West Show comes on)

Kosminski : Er - 67 men went to rip
Went to rip an Eddowes
67 men and three dogs and 51 horses
Went to rip an Eddowes
(Kosminski has breakdown and is taken to Seaside Home)

[Suzi]

Hi Chris-
I don't go with Joe (or any spitting or anything else to be honest!!).. But the facts (according to Joseph ) is that he met- and lived with Mary for 18 months and to be honest the only 'facts' we have about 'Mary' come from Joseph's statement.

Hmmmmmmmm I would tend to dismiss Joseph's commenets- and that's before we get into the echolalia...lalia....lalia..I would have a look at the statements that the women who knew her made at the inquest and OK to the press ....some/where/how they may contain something more reliable

[ChrisGeorge]

I know I am going to get a lot of you telling just how wrong I am and I don't mind...I'm just throwing my own idea into the ring and if you disagree with me then I need a good comeback from you rather than anyone saying "What a load of rubbish"

I looked and stared at that picture for a good ten minutes, obviously I didn't enjoy it but Idid it to get an idea flowing.

I looked at the way the legs were layed out and I suddenly became aware that her killer had sex with her and killed her during the event. My view is that she taunted him, maybe because of the size of his penis or stamminer, and he went wild. Nearby he kept a knife while he was on top and then slit her throat.

From this, as I view, he paniced and decided to hide his tree in a forest....he carved her body up (post death).....Mary was not a Ripper victim, she was a victim of a client she had known for some while prior to the murders.


Right. I'm open for my theory to be torn apart with some logic and not a just a statement

Hi Triston

I am not an advocate of Joe Barnett as MJK's killer, although the taunting might fit in with MJK taunting him because he was too drunk to get it up.

Chris

[Suzi]

Bah!, Bah!- black cat-
Had's you any fun?
Yes (Purr) ,Oh sir
Them girls wot I 'ave done!!!

Dids police reports-1888

[Suzi]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Little Tommy Pastry
Made escapes so 'asty
'I won't linger
Nor mi' finger
makes a mark upon the wall

'E ran down
Around the town
Silly Mr Pastry
Silly sod,
he gave a nod
To City Plod....Oh wasty!

Mr Plod gave a nod
To Poor old Mr Pastry
Where's the pinny
You daft old ninny

'The cat gave us a nod!'

(Cunning from plod off)

Dear old Diddles
(apres piddles)
Walks along the road
'Look upstairs
he who dares'
..........................................
da da da da da 'iddles


(OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooh Murder story/poem related (Allegedly!)....probably from The Star)

[caz]

Ah, funny you should mention Mr Pastry, Suzi. The white-haired old darling plays a not insignificant part in the Nursery Rhyme theory. Two offerings off the top of my head:

Mr Pastry made a tart
Go out on an autumn night.
The Jack of Tarts,
He stole her heart
And then got out of sight.

Patter cake patter cake baker's man
Take Kate to Mitre as fast as you can.
Pat her and prick her and mark her TC
And bake me a kidney pie for my tea.

Love,

Caz
X

[Suzi]

Oooooooooooh 'Nothing to see' there's plenty of wonders on the Sooty website- They've even got a message board!

Bye,bye everybody,bye,bye

All this Sooty research is drawing attention away from the seriously dodgy candidate- 'Mr Pastry'

[caz]

Hi Robert,

Or this missive, posted to Mr Farley Rusk at his breakfast cereal factory:

Hickory Dickory Dock,
The bird said "Night old c*ck!"
The clock struck one,
The bird went down
To Mitre Square with Doc.

Hickory Dickory Dock,
The bird said "Tuppence a knock".
The clock struck two,
Away Gull flew
With a kidney and half of her frock.

Hickory Dickory Dock,
The fiend looked up at the clock.
The clock struck three,
He said "Deary me,
It's time I took off and took stock".

Hickory Dockory Dicks [Yes I know - it can't be helped],
He dreamed of his next little tricks.
The clock struck four,
But he heard no more
'Til Nanny brought his Weetabix.

Signed Catch this cereal killer when
you can
Mishter Rusk

Love,

Caz
X

[Nothing to see]

Thanks. I guess when I get some spare time I'll check out your links.

Do I really want to?