movie/film advice

[protohistorian]

I forgot

Oh, I forgot the completely Bullshite pretext which lets me call it a 'ripper' film. My new title is:
J ack
A ctually
C ared
K indly

T hough
H is
E xtra

R omantic Gestures ...are...
I nterpreted
P erversely
P iquing
E veryone's
R evulsion

Dave

[protohistorian]

Since my Title had to change, there are some revisions. Now Annie's uterus will be driving the miniature mason car (loaned to her by the evil Gull), Jack will be played by a limbless terrorist fighting veteran, and the Uterus is the reason we perceive Jack as evil, when it was her that went on walk about, mutilating Annie as a way of covering her tracks. That is all, stayed tuned for updates. Dave

[The Good Michael]

Wow, Dave! Is there a part with a dog running off with a tampon-used apron? I think we'd all like that added.

Mike

[protohistorian]

Sure. It was Gull's dog, the uterus was watching it in exchange for the use of the miniature car. In a moment of uteri inattention, the dog ran off. Said dog found the apron/tampon (as was common in olden times), and ran off with it. We can insert this scene shortly after the uterus picks up the car from Gull. I am having trouble casting the uterus right now as finding one that talks is exceedingly difficult. Dave

[The Good Michael]

I am having trouble casting the uterus right now as finding one that talks is exceedingly difficult.

George Bush isn't doing anything right now. Just a thought.

Mike

[protohistorian]

I have asked his agent Mike. The cost of de-douchebagging is just cost prohibitively high. Dave

[protohistorian]

Besides Mike, Gull's miniature mason car is nuclear, and I can't run the risk he'd say nookelar and ruin my historical accuracy. I care that much about my ART. Dave

[The Good Michael]

I have asked his agent Mike. The cost of de-douchebagging is just cost prohibitively high. Dave

I've got it! Substitute apron/tampon for douchebag!

Mike

[protohistorian]

Your an absolute genius!The evil possessed apron was in cohort with the rebel uterus. Catherine found the evil apron/tampon on the ground playing dead, took it up and wore it (cause thats how she rolled). The evil apron/tampon resented this and so talked Catherine's uterus into rebellion and the two uteri and the limbless terror fighting vet lived as a bohemian threesome until Biggles got on to them,when they enlisted the heart of Mary Kelly to throw suspicion off them by virtue of Biggles/Macnaghten never suspecting 2 rebel uteri AND a heart being the same as two rebel uteri and a limbless terror fighting vet.

[Steven Russell]

Well Biggles did have a sidekick called Ginger. At the start of the film Mary could be his Ginger. When the baddies rip out her heart to use against our hero, this would provide some good elements of pathos and betrayal:

Biggles/Macca sinks to his knees cradling Ginger/Mary's heartless body. The overhead camera zooms out as rain lashes down and Biggles/Macca screams "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" at the heavens.

I'm pretty sure this device has never been used before so would like some mention in the credits if you use it.

Best wishes,
Steve.

[protohistorian]

Thanks Steve! The string of sensless rebel organ suicides ends when 1/2 of the evil apron/tampon is incarcerated. It hangs together so well, it must be true. We really need to score a talking uterus now! Dave

[protohistorian]

Well as true as the Macnaghten sequence and the idea there was a lone whack-a-doodle named Jack anyway, which brings me back to post one and my suggestion that basic research precede filming. Dave

[Steven Russell]

Dave - have you tried 19th century French music halls?

Just a thought,
Steve.

[protohistorian]

No Steve, my time machine is in the shop. Thanks for the tip, I will when I get it back. Dave

[protohistorian]

The shop just called and it will be some weeks to repair the time machine. We have to suck up the cost of de-douche bagging Bush and run the Nookelar risk. Does anyone know a published author who can be cited re apron/tampon exploits so we can bolster our accuracy in that area? Dave